THE NUMBERS OF CONFIDENCE | Dr. Aziz - Confidence Coach

Would you like to have a date by next weekend or maybe two dates? There is a specific way to do that, a pathway to get there. And in this short episode, I'm going to teach you exactly what the steps will be. Welcome to another episode of the Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I'm your host, Dr. Z's best selling author and the founder of the center for Social Confidence. And, and this is the show for you if you want to 10x your confidence in every area of your life that matters, including your dating and relationships. And this episode is about dating. And this episode is called the Numbers of Confidence. And don't worry, math brain shutting off, just stick with me. These numbers are super simple and they're made up, but they illustrate a point. Here's what they are. You want a date, right? When we're single and we're looking, we want to be able to date women. I did for a long time. And, and you'd like to ideally date the women that you're attracted to. And you might spend long stretches of time single, not really dating anyone. Maybe get set up by a friend, maybe find someone online and you have a date, but it's so few and far between. Maybe you want a sense, like I did, of abundance, of like, man, there's so many opportunities and so many women and I want to talk to her and that one. And, and you can feel like you're really free and have a lot of power in this area of your life as opposed to, to waiting powerless and hoping that life will give you something. So here's how you get there, and it involves some numbers and this is going to help you know exactly how to get that date. Here's the thing, in order to get that date, you need to A, approach a woman, B, talk to that woman, C, get her number, and D, set up a date either later by text or phone or email or whatever contact you had or in that moment, talk to a woman or approach a woman, talk to her, get her number, set up a date. Right. Pretty basic. I probably haven't lost you so far. And here's the thing that trips a lot of people up though is they're like, great. Now maybe you have a ton, a ton, a ton of fear around that, around approaching a woman. And if you do get my program 30 Days to Dating Mastery at 30daystodatingmastery.com and there's a whole section in there, a free ebook when you go there about how to start conversations with women, which is how to approach women, which is the first step. But that program will help you the whole first, the program is designed over 30 days to help you eradicate that fear. So you can just approach women being your most bold, authentic, confident self. So definitely get that program if step one is where you can't move forward after that. But let's just say you can approach women and you can start a conversation. Here's how most guys do it. And I did this for so long. You approach a woman and you're like, ah. And you start, you know, maybe she's not that interested in talking to you. And then you're like, oh, shit, I'm done. Or maybe you approach a woman and she does chat with you for a little while, but you're about to ask for a number and then you're like, too scared. I don't want to ruin it. It was a good conversation. I didn't want to bother her. I don't want to impose upon her and piss her off by asking for her number. So I fled. Or maybe you did ask for her number. You had the courage and you did it. And then she's like, no, I have a boyfriend. And you're like, oh, shit. And then you leave, Right? So any of those scenarios, I've experienced them all and you probably have too. Then we're like, well, fuck, I'm just going to go home and get high and play video games. And that's what trips most of us up. It's the numbers. You approached one woman and you got no dates. You have to look at the numbers of what this is. Let's take 10. Here's the you approach 10 women, and out of those women, maybe only six will be even open to talking with you. More or less, depending upon where you are, the circumstance, you know, even your energy, how you're dressed. Like, if you walk up to them, like, hey, then maybe 0 out of 10 would want to talk with you. But if you're like upright and you walk right over to them and you have warm expression on your face and you look them in the eye and you're like, hey, what's that? She's reading a book. Like, what are you reading? Probably, probably a lot would actually talk with you. I mean, I've had at least the numbers might even be higher the better you get at this. But let's just say it's six to pull that number out of my back pocket. So it's six out of 10 women that will actually just talk with you during the approach. They take that in for a minute. That means 40% of women or 30% or 50%. Might not even talk with you when you go talk to them. So out of that 10, now you have six. Now out of the six that you're talking to, you know, you have a conversation with them and, you know, let's say only three of those turn into, like a warm enough connection and conversation that you're even going to want to ask for the number. Or four, I don't know. But there's like, not all of those are going to be like, whoa, we're really hitting it off, right? So some of those are going to be like, you're trying to talk with her and she's kind of like, you know, like a lump, like, yep. Nope. Why are you talking to me? Right, so out of that six, maybe four is a warmness. And then you ask those four for the number, and how many give you the number? I don't know, maybe two. Right? Because one of them's like, I got a boyfriend. And one of them's like, no. Then you're like, oh, okay, so maybe only two give you their number. Now then you want to set up a date. Maybe those two you go on dates with, but maybe one of them drops off the map and she just gave you her number, but she's not actually going to follow up with you, Right? So out of those 10 women that you approach, maybe you get one or two dates. These are hypothetical numbers here, but do you get my point? The vast majority are not going to end up with you on a date with that woman. When it comes to approaching. And this is the numbers of confidence, this is when people say, it's a numbers game, that's what they mean, and we have to break this down. I had to kind of get it, like, hammered into my head because otherwise we might say, oh, yes, I've heard it's a numbers game. Then we go approach one or two women, it doesn't go well, and we're like, fuck this game, I quit. And then we just get high and play video games. So remember that. You know, I talked to one woman, I was doing the extraordinary Confidence summit, which you might have seen, and she gave me some great insight. And she does tons of sales training. She runs an extremely successful training and sales business. I don't know what they do, 7 or 8 million a year or something like that. And she's like, all of our clients that we teach and train and work with their sales forces in a lot of industries. If they're selling one out of five people that they talk to, that is Knocking it out of the park. And in some industries, it's more or less right, one out of 10. So that's 20%. And, you know, so same thing with dating is, you know, 1 in 5, 1 in 10, these are good numbers. And so this expectation that every woman that you talk to is going to be like, whoa, you're amazing. Here's my number. Yes, let's go have sex with me. You're amazing. Like, that's not going to happen. And so we just need to keep putting ourselves out there and we need to work on that confidence. And so if that rejection crushes you and demoralizes you, that's just grinding your progress to a halt. Because here's the thing, you can figure this stuff out and you can get the results that you want in dating and relationships way faster than you imagine if you're willing to put yourself out there consistently. And if you want a Rocket Turbo boost to do that, check out 30 Days to Dating Mastery because it guides you from I'm too scared to even approach them to how do I feel like, know that I'm awesome, know my values, so I'm the selector. How do I then approach anyone? Just humans out in the world. And then how do I start, you know, approaching attractive women? Then, you know, how do I flirt with them, date with them, just have great experiences and really master this area of my life. So check out that program if you want to go deeper. And if you want to go deeper in these videos in this channel, subscribe below because you're going to learn a ton of great stuff, new videos every week, and leave a comment below as well. I'm curious your thoughts, your questions, your biggest takeaways as well. I love reading those. So until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.