Dr. Aziz argues that social skill and conversational confidence are learned skills that improve only through repeated practice rather than passive study. He frames social anxiety as fear that leads to avoidance, which prevents improvement, and gives a concrete training suggestion (e.g., start five conversations in a week) as an initial exercise to build comfort and capability.
Five conversations.
If you want to get better at conversations, at connecting with people, perhaps you feel awkward, you have social anxiety or shyness, and you feel like you leave a conversation. Maybe they didn't want to talk to me. Could I done something better? Maybe you end up avoiding conversations and you want to get way better at it, way more free, way more comfortable to just be yourself around anyone. If you really want to do that, there's only one way to do it. Now, we might read, we might learn strategies, you might watch videos, and these are useful if they point you to the right thing, which is the one thing. Because here's the deal. When you are afraid of social interactions, let's just call it what it is. That's what it is. I say anxiety, nervous, but I'm just scared. We tend to avoid it. And when we avoid it, we don't get better at it. And it is a skill like anything else. And there's only one way to get better at it, which is to practice it again and again and again. Seem to learn some basic tools, like on these videos and other places, and then go out and train, not just once, not just twice, but dozens of times. Can you start five conversations this week? That kind of training will transform your social life.
