Dr. Aziz (clinical psychologist and confidence expert) describes the single worst confidence mistake: pressuring yourself to be someone other than you are. He explains how chronic self-rejection and ‘‘should’’-based standards keep confidence low despite achievements, and prescribes a decisive shift toward self-acceptance and boldly expressing an authentic self.
This is the worst thing that you can do for your confidence. I'm a confidence expert. I'm a doctor in clinical psychology. I've worked with thousands of people on confidence. And I see this as the most damaging pattern. You ready? It is pressuring yourself to be someone other than who you are. You have this feeling of like, I'm not enough. I'm not okay, I'm not likable. I should be more, I should be more, I should be more. And it makes sense on paper. Like, well, if I was taller, if I was funnier, if I was richer, I'd be better. And yet that corrosive self hatred, fundamental rejection of yourself is what keeps your confidence low. And no matter how much you strive, no matter how much better you get, you think you're going to finally get there and be enough. And you never are. And your confidence never changes. To really transform this, you have to make a fundamental decision to celebrate who you are, to get on your own side and actually express the most authentic version of you boldly now.
