Dr. Aziz argues confidence comes from one thing: repeatedly doing uncomfortable things. He uses a boat wake metaphor to show how confidence follows action, not the other way around, and positions therapy and courses as tools to help you take that action.
Did you know that there is only one way to build confidence? And I will show you what that one way is in this video. I'm Dr. Azizman, the founder of the center for Social Confidence, and I am here to help you become the most bold, free, confident version of you. If you want more of this, click the subscribe button down below. You can also take things further with my program, Confidence University, which has got multiple courses from social mastery to breaking through your fear of what other people think of you. To be more confident in your career and your love life, every area of your life that you want to become more confident in, free yourself from social anxiety once and for all. Click down below in the description or go to TheConfidenceUniversity.com to get that course today and take control of your life and your confidence. There is only one way to build your confidence. That's what I'm going to cover in this video. What does that mean? I mean, aren't there like tons of tools and strategies and therapy approaches and coaching and like, why do you have all these books and programs? There's only one way. Well, well, they're providing additional guidance, additional support, helping people get ready to do the one way. But it's all centered around one way. And if you don't do it this one way, you will not build lasting confidence. So everything else is ancillary, is supportive. This is the one thing. Do you know what the one thing is? You might already know it. People often do know it. They just are looking for another way because they don't want to do the one way. The one way is to consistently do the things that make you uncomfortable and as a byproduct, build confidence, self esteem, self assuredness, a sense of competency, it all comes as a result. Think of it like the boat, right? If you've ever been on a boat, even if you've never been on a boat, just watch a rat video. You'll see some people on a boat, right? There's a boat and when the boat's carving through the water, what's behind the boat? Well, it's called the wake. It's the way that the waves kind of ripple out and it creates this V shape wake behind the boat. The confidence that you seek, the self assuredness, that ultimately the life that you seek is going to be the wake of the boat. And you on the boat, what you're doing is you're steering towards what makes you uncomfortable. That's the one way. Another way to say, what I'm saying is if you are not willing to be uncomfortable. You will never have lasting confidence. Your circumstances might improve by good fortune. And then you say, oh great, I feel good today. Then your circumstances might get worse. Didn't degrade due to, you know, bad fortune. And you say, oh man, I feel terrible today. That person liked me. That person didn't like me. She said yes. She said no. The boss said I was smart. Haha. The boss said I was stupid. Ugh. Right? And you're just lollipopping up and down. Lollipopping. I stand by it. It's confidence, right? So what do you do? What do you create? What effect you have on the world all comes from leaning into that discomfort. So the only way, the one way to build confidence is to consistently. That word is key. Consistently do the things that make you uncomfortable in order to have a byproduct of confidence, self assuredness and all that you want. And I see this again and again with clients. They have social anxiety and they're like, I want to be free of social anxiety. Okay. The way to be free of social anxiety is to go into the situations that make you uncomfortable and they're like, that's what I'm here to do is to get rid of the discomfort. You got to go do the things. So that's why all the other tools and strategies are about. They're about helping you have the courage or helping you have the self compassion. They're helping you have a new mindset. All of that is supportive in helping you to go take the action. Because if it was just me saying, hey, go take the action buddy, and then you just went out and did it, then why would I have this channel? Why would I create all these books and materials? It's to give you the tools and strategies to do the one way. But once you understand the one way, you know that that's what it's funneling you towards. And if you want the tools and the strategies inside of Confidence University, they'll help guide you. I have online events too you can go check out@drzdraziz.com or just keep watching these videos or check out my podcast that's also free@shrinkfortheshyguy.com immerse yourself in this material to the point where you can start taking that action. And if you want more confidence, more quickly, guess what you. That's right. More uncomfortable actions more often. It really is that simple. It's just getting yourselves to do it that's the hard part. Right. So share down below in the comments. What are you finding most useful from this video? What are you doing to help yourself do the uncomfortable stuff? Maybe list some uncomfortable stuff you've done recently that's been in the service of building your confidence and that will inspire others here so we can all grow together. Awesome. Thanks for being with me today. Until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
