Dr. Aziz explains why people with social anxiety stay stuck: they focus on avoiding symptoms instead of pursuing what they actually want. He recommends clarifying specific positive goals like speaking up or making friends, not just what to avoid.
If you have social anxiety, I bet you're making this one major mistake. I talk to clients all the time and I bet you're doing this. Here's the question. I ask them, what do you want? And they'll tell me what they want. I want to be free from this anxiety. I just want to not feel so self conscious. And I get in my head all the time and I just want to stop that voice that's telling me I'm not enough. Okay, now they've told me six things that's happening that they don't want to happen, and they're reinforcing that. And so here's how I can help you and them really get in touch with what you want, which is this. If you are completely free from, from social anxiety, what would you do? What would you go out there and create? Who would you be? And then they say, well, I would speak up more, I'd express myself, I'd make more friends and better friendships. I'd go approach that person that I'm into. And I say, ah, now we're getting clarity. Now you have something that you can go out there and create.
