This Mistake Keeps You Stuck In Social Anxiety

26 Nov 2023 · 1 min

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Dr. Aziz (speaker) explains a common mistake people with social anxiety make: focusing on and describing unwanted symptoms (e.g., "I want to stop feeling self-conscious") which inadvertently reinforces them. He recommends reframing by asking what the person would do or create if they were free from social anxiety, eliciting concrete positive actions (e.g., speak up more, form better friendships, approach someone they're into) to provide clear goals to work toward.

Chapters

If you have social anxiety, I bet you're making this one major mistake. I talk to clients all the time and I bet you're doing this. Here's the question. I ask them, what do you want? And they'll tell me what they want. I want to be free from this anxiety. I just want to not feel so self conscious. And I get in my head all the time and I just want to stop that voice that's telling me I'm not enough. Okay, now they've told me six things that's happening that they don't want to happen, and they're reinforcing that. And so here's how I can help you and them really get in touch with what you want, which is this. If you are completely free from, from social anxiety, what would you do? What would you go out there and create? Who would you be? And then they say, well, I would speak up more, I'd express myself, I'd make more friends and better friendships. I'd go approach that person that I'm into. And I say, ah, now we're getting clarity. Now you have something that you can go out there and create.