Try This One Mindset Shift To Transform Social Anxiety Into Social Confidence

You're about to discover one simple mindset shift that you can make now that can shift social anxiety into social confidence. Because there's one pattern you're running when you're feeling socially anxious. And when you change this mindset, that pattern will stop and it'll be replaced by a new pattern and you'll feel a lot more confident and a lot more free to be authentically you so you can actually enjoy yourself more in social interactions around other people, in workplace environments, dating, relationships, anywhere. That sound good? All right, fantastic. So, by the way, if you're enjoying this video and my other videos, make sure you're subscribed to this channel and you click the little bell next to it so you can get notifications when the videos come out. And also click the little thumbs up and the like down below. Helps support the channel, helps me reach more people. So thanks for doing that. Here's the one mindset shift I want to share with you. When you are around someone and you're feeling anxious, are you aware of. Of what you're going for in that interaction? Oftentimes people are evaluating something in an interaction. Maybe you're doing that you're evaluating often. How's this going? Right, how's this going? How am I doing? What are you basing that on? Right. How is it going? How am I doing? What are you looking for to measure if it's going well or if it's going poorly? Are you aware? Well, when we're running social anxiety, it's just a pattern. By the way, I do not like when people say, I'm stuck with social anxiety disorder, and this is who I am, and this is how I've been. I got this diagnosis when I'm 11. So now that I'm 34, I still have this, and I will for the rest of my life kill me, please. No, it's just a pattern. And you ran that pattern when you were 11, and you could have stopped when you were 12, and you're running it when you're 33, and you can run a different pattern when you're 34. So do not buy into some deterministic thinking that says you're stuck, frozen and doomed because of some diagnosis you got five years ago or 50 years ago. That's not who you are. It's just a pattern. You can change that pattern, and this is one way to do it. So when you're running the pattern of social anxiety, you're evaluating. How's this going? And I'm looking at one thing. How much do you approve of me, right? That's all what it all comes down to. You might say, well, I'm looking at the conversation is flowing smoothly, right? Because if the conversation is flowing smoothly, then you're going to think I'm normal or I'm good at conversation or maybe even like me, right? If I was stilted or silent or didn't say the right thing or wasn't making jokes and the conversation was chunky or weird or awkward, then you wouldn't like me. Is this person smiling? Is this person laughing at my jokes? Is this person sharing with me? Is this person seeming engaged? That all means it's going well. Which means they like me or approve of me. And that could mean that they're going to want to date me or sleep with me or buy my stuff or be my friend or hire me or promote me or at least like me. That's what it's all based on. And as long as you're running that pattern, you will suffer and you will feel anxious because it's not the most, it's not coming from a place of power. It's not the most real or purposeful point of conversations and interactions. It puts you in a one down position where I'm begging you. Now, I'm not like on my knees overtly pleading. It's more subtle and energetic. But I'm like a popper. Do you have water for me? Do you have social approval for me? My cup's empty, right? I don't know why, I don't know why the popper's British, but it's just maybe my fine acting training. I don't know. In any case, what's the new pattern? What's a different way to be that's so much better? That's going to free you from the social anxiety? Well, it's going to be to evaluate the conversation and the experience based upon different criteria. And here is the criteria. Are you ready? The criteria is how did it go? Is now based on, well, how much was I me? How much of me did I let myself? Did I let out? How authentic was I? These are all different ways of asking the same thing. So I've done this with many different clients and this is, I remember I was working with a man dating and he was like so uncomfortable asking women out, going on dates, just not himself and not having much success, of course, right? Because he's inhibited and he's trying to get approval and all that stuff and it backfires in a big way, especially in the dating and relationship environment. So Instead of, how did that go? Did she like me? I said, how about each date or each interaction you evaluate on a scale of 1 to 10, how much was I myself? How much was I boldly authentic? How much did I say what I wanted to say? Ask what I wanted to ask, you know, make the jokes I wanted to make, bring up the topics I want to make, ask the questions I really wanted to ask, you know, held my body and moved in the way that I wanted to move. How much was I me 1 to 10? And so he started to evaluate himself after each interaction. How was I? How much was that a 3? Was that a 5? Was that a 10? And the follow up question is, how did that feel? How did that number feel? So how did a three feel? How did a seven feel? How did a ten feel? And he started to do this. And after a relatively short period of time, he said, wow, you know, a higher number feels better. I thought that what matters is if she likes me or not, but actually what makes me feel good is how much I was me. And I've had these experiences. And his eyes got kind of wider. He said, I've had these experiences where I don't think that she liked me that much, but I was being really me and I had a good time. And he was kind of flabbergasted by that. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. Cause that's the point, right? The point is to be you and then see what actually emerges. Not try to mold something out of what you think that they want so that it goes well for how long? How long are you gonna keep that charade up? So shift that pattern. How much do they like me to? How much am I being me? When you make that shift, everything will change. So share down below in the comments, what are you finding most valuable? Also, if you haven't already got it, click down below in the description. You can get my free mini course, five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence, which will guide you step by step to radically increase your confidence. That's what I did with this client, all the people that I work with. You can get it for free. So click down below for that and share in the comments what you're finding most valuable from this video and any questions you have as well. Until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. Talk to you soon.