Turn Fear Into Confidence (Dr. Aziz Ultra Marathon)

It. So the current plan is to run to Sandy, which is a little town about. It's about 15 miles away. So to make it a little bit more challenging, I'm gonna run a loop first in the wild country, as they call it, and then go to Sandy. So overall it should be about 18 to 20 miles. And then I'm gonna meet Candice and my boys at a restaurant called Brady's Burgers and Brats. Or as we've renamed it, Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Let's go. So we discovered this place on the way back home from a hike on Mount Hood. Looking for a burger place because that's what you gotta do after a hike. And we loved it. And so the next time we were on a hike, we knew on the way home we were gonna go to Brady's Burgers and Brats. My son said we should call it Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Cause they have amazing tater Tots. And then we came up with this game that goes like this. I would say Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. And then they would immediately have to say Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. At the same pace that I said Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. And then we would go faster and faster. So go like this. Do it with me here. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. Brady's Burgers, Brats and Tots. All right, let's get out of here. Jesus. You got someone waiting. Oh, yeah. Watch this. When she knows she can just sense. Well, obviously I'm all geared up for it. But even if I'm not, she just feels it. Way I walk out the door, she gets all hopped up on I'm about to run juices. Oh, my God. Amazing. This is going to be amazing. This is going to be amazing. Sure is. Let's do it. How could you not be enthusiastic about running with a partner like that? All right, here we go. Cool. Coming up to the fork here where I get to choose whether I'm going to go to the right, which is a 14 mile route. To Sandy or I can go to the left, which is a 19 mile route to Sandy. And I found that the unlocking of maximum potential in me is with this art of relaxed discipline, where the discipline is, I'm gonna get out there, I'm gonna go for a run today. But the relaxed part is you get to choose. Is it going to be 14 or 19 or some days it's like, hey, are you going to turn around after a mile or go for five or 10? But that choice, that freedom for me seems to relieve the pressure and allow me to choose. As opposed to like you said, it was on the schedule and you have to do this. And that tight pressure kind of discipline caused me to blow up, like physically and emotionally and mentally. The thing about me is when I get to choose, there's a part of me when it feels free. It's like, oh, I know what I'm gonna choose. Do I go to the right or the left? Well, if I can choose, let's see what I can do. Let's go to the left. Let's commit, baby. 19 miles, here we go. Who's. What have I done? No, I'm not terrified yet. I just made the choice. And doesn't that how go in life, you know, like when you're. You make the bold choice, you might be terrified, you might be excited. People think that confidence is that you only feel excited and you believe in yourself and you're like, yeah, I can do it, I'm awesome. And that's great when you feel that way. What about when you don't? And it reminds me of a moment in one of those old Star Wars. I don't know if Episode five maybe where Luke is hanging out with Yoda and he basically is saying, like, I'm ready for more. And Yoda is like, are you sure? He's like, yeah, I'm not afraid. And Yoda looks at him. Remember I saw this when I was a little kid. So Yoda seemed kind of creepy. And they were in this swamp bodega system. And Yoda looks at him and he says, oh, you will be, you will be. And I think there's something to fear. And it's natural and healthy to feel fear. It means you're challenging yourself. It means you're stepping beyond the edge. And we don't need this false bravado of, I don't feel a thing. It's like, no, I'm scared and here I go. So it's this bold capacity to do what scares you. Continue to act in the face of that fear. I think that's true confidence because you. Ah, a nice rock bath for the feet. So I've been. So I've been thinking about not starting every line with so, and I decided that I'm going to keep saying so at the beginning of every sentence. So I've been thinking a lot about dread in the last couple miles and pondering what is dread? It's a fascinating experience, isn't it? You probably have it before things that are hard or scary, like a meeting, a presentation, a trial, a performance, maybe even social event or a date. You got social anxiety, dread or a big run or a hard workout. And it's. There's fear in there, right? But there's also some resistance. It's like fear and resistance of impending discomfort. Because there's kind of like a worry anxiety kind of thing. Like, oh, I hope blank doesn't happen. But that's different than dread. Dread is like, you know something's coming. You know what's gonna happen. You know, you're going into that thing and there's fear about how uncomfortable it's gonna be and resistance to it. Like, no, I don't wanna. And it's a very potent brew. And I think, you know, most of us can take dread as a. As a sign to turn the other way. And what if. What if we do that dread? And what if the more that you do dread, the stronger you get? The freer you get, the more alive you become? Part of me says I should stop her even drinking out of puddles where they get giardia. But another part of me says, well, she's thirsty. She's a dog. And this puddle is pretty out in the middle of nowhere. What do you think, Sierra? You think a coyote pooped in there with giardia? Let's find it out. Delicious, huh? Good girl. Yeah. Nice to cool off, huh? Oh, yeah. This is the fork in the road. And we are now. We've now completed the bonus loop and are beginning the straight windy shot to Sandy. I think it's about 10 more miles gone. 9.2. So far, so good. Brady's burgers, Brats and tots. Brady Burgers. Brats and tots. Brady burger. Well, we've arrived. This is the portion of the run that the dread was about. It's this middle zone where you're far enough away to be significantly tired and then not close enough to the end yet to have that boost of energy that unlocks when you're like, I'm almost there. And it's this. No man's land. So I'm on mile, about 10, you know, a little over halfway feeling tired. So this is. This is it. This is what I was dreading. It's really not so bad. And there's an opportunity to study something here. Like, what. What is the bad. What is the fatigue? What are the stories and the thoughts that come along with the fatigue? I think the key with dealing with the discomfort is being really curious about the discomfort and noticing the mind's tendency to project that, this discomfort, you know, indefinitely. I'm gonna feel this way for hours, huh? Maybe. Probably not, though. So here we go. When the discomfort comes on, there's an opportunity to study, to become deeply curious about the discomfort. And this is the only way to build strength, resilience, toughness. It's not some, like, shut up and do it kind of energy. It never works. It's this deep curiosity, and it's like a loving attention with yourself. Like, huh, what's happening? Tell me more. Oh, you're thinking that. Okay. Oh, you're feeling that, huh? And on we go. Let's go. This one time back over there, I saw a deer carcass all torn up. I'm mountain lion, no doubt. When I first moved out here and wanted to run in this wild country, I was very excited and I was scared, scared that a mountain lion would get me. You know, I did my. My homework on that a little bit. There are definitely mountain lions out here. There are mountain lion sightings. They actually go to people's houses on our street on rare occasions. So I looked up, like, what are the odds of being attacked by mountain lion? And so the odds are very low, which is good. The risk is when you are alone and at dawn and dusk and running, I was like, I do all of those. So that was part of the decision to get that brute right there, Sierra. So before we moved out here, we got her as a puppy, raced her, and now I am safe. As of yet, zero mountain lion sightings and zero mountain lion attacks. And how do you want to live? You know, do you want to eliminate all risks if you even could? And what's the quality of your life if you've done that? And maybe, maybe a little bit of facing real danger, no matter how small, is just what the doctor ordered for your soul to come alive. And now we are entering one of my favorite experiences ever in life. There's a couple things that really delight me. One is, like, after a long period of being with my wife, Candice snuggling, and you get into this kind of free state. Maybe someone says something, you just both start laughing because something was funny, but also just because you feel so free and alive and relaxed and connected. My second favorite thing is when I experience this look of raw, unfiltered delight in my kids eyes when we're doing something like wrestling or something that just lights them up. And then number three is this experience right here where I'm going somewhere that I've never gone before. Specifically, like running or hiking. Not necessarily like traveling to a new city. Like I'm at the Dallas airport for the first time. How amazing. No, I mean, like I've never been here before. And this trail to Sandy I can only do once for the first time. Now I could run this thing 50 times, right over the next years, but I only get to experience the first time once, and that is right now. Sa. To.