Dr. Aziz explains two signs you're getting more confident: people will tell you they're upset with you, and some will react worse, leaving bad reviews or reporting you. Both are normal milestones of becoming more expressive.
Becoming more confident is great, right? As you get more confident, you can be more bold, you can connect better, you can become more successful, definitely more sexy. But did you know that as you become more confident and more expressive and more you in the world, unpleasant things happen as well? I want to share two of those with you right now because when they do occur for you, you can interpret them as bad. Like, wait a minute, I don't like this, this shouldn't be happening. But actually you're exactly where you need to be. That should be happening. And that is actually a sign of you becoming more confident. What? Let me explain. Number one, someone gets upset with you and tells you about it, that's a sign that you're getting more confident. Why is this the case? Well, when you're living in people pleasing mood and anxiety mode, and I'll do whatever you want and be whoever you want me to be mode, which is you not living your life and therefore suff inside, right? That's what you want to change. When you start to break that habit, and it's just a habit, it's not who you are, it's not how it has to be, it's not your destiny, it's just a habit. When you start to change that habit, inevitably someone's going to say something like, I don't like that you said that. I don't like that you did that. I don't like this. And then you might be like, oh no, I should I not have done it? And is this okay or is this not okay? Like, yeah, that's going to happen. So when it happens, instead of like, oh no, I mean, you might still have that reaction inside. And then you remind yourself, actually check. I hit that milestone in my confidence, in my growth. You know, that means I am being expressive enough, real enough, putting myself out there enough that someone could not like me. And then they're gonna tell you about it, whether it's verbally or they write something about you or whatever. So that's number one. And you know, the sort of bigger you get and the more you put yourself out there in whatever way, shape or form, the more people might dislike you and tell you about it. But that's a good thing. Number two, and this one's really unpleasant. Not only does someone like you, but there's gonna be some repercussion from that. They're gonna tell someone else at your workplace that you're bad. Or maybe, you know, someone breaks up with you, wants to break up with you, or someone says they're gonna, I Don't know, tell people bad things about you and your business or something like that. Like, someone gets upset and then wants to do something negative to you. I know. I mean, that's why I'm recording this video. Because you might hear that and be like, that's not good. Disease. What if it's inevitable when you're being boldly yourself? And what if it's not your responsibility to make sure that everyone in the world feels totally comfortable with everything you're doing and that no one ever gets upset and no one ever wants to do something to stop you or to harm you or to have some, you know, consequence for you because they think that what you did was so bad and wrong. And this is where it gets really interesting because I see this and I'll help clients of mine and coaching, like, change their perception around this. Because otherwise, without that, you come into this, you bump into this wall, and if your conditioning of niceness is strong, you're like, something's gone terribly wrong. But if you zoom out and look at it, underneath is this belief that says, no one should ever be upset with me. And no one should ever want to, you know, express that upset in unpleasant ways. But guess what? People do. And the more that you're you, the more you might have those exchanges. And so there's, you know, a couple different options with that. One is to try to be super nice and avoid that forever. Right. Option two is bring it on. Like, let's go. But this is what I'm here to do. Like, I'm gonna express myself. I'm gonna put this out there. Oh, I got a negative review on that. Okay. Someone didn't like my video. Okay. I guess that's a sign that I'm putting myself out there. Oh, someone said that they want to, you know, they reported my channel because my video was so bad. Or someone said that, you know, they reported my email as spam because I sent too many emails. Okay, Right. And you're just able to continue to put you out there, be you in whatever way, shape or form, and not let someone detract from that because they didn't like it. And this is, man, this is very counter to the nice way of living, but it is a sign of your own growth. So permission granted. Permission to bother others. Permission for others to not like something you did. Permission for others to threaten you or say something bad about you. It's all there and it's all okay. And it's all maybe inevitable if you keep being bolder and bigger. Because here's the flip side of all this. Not only do you experience these unpleasant things, you get more than you could ever imagine of connection and relationship and success and breakthrough and opportunities and wealth and everything comes with that. So are you willing to experience something unpleasant in the pursuit of extraordinary until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
