Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough Step 2 - How To 10x Your Power Now

Hey, Dr. Aziz here, the number one best selling author of the Solution to Social Anxiety. And Today is video 2 Step 2 in how to create a breakthrough in your confidence level. The first video is all about getting clarity and eliminating that self doubt that tells you you can't do things. The second step is to 10x your power. You have to become way more powerful because if you don't have power, if you think power is bad, if you're giving your power away, if you see yourself as powerless, it is really hard to take action, to get to the life that you want to create, to create the confidence that you want, to go after the things that you want and to get them in your life. So we need to 10x our power. And by the way, thank you for the comments below. I love reading through them. And also thank you for the emails. People are sending emails and questions. We haven't gotten to all of them yet, but we will and we'll respond as best as we can. Sometimes I'll answer the questions in videos or so just stay tuned. We're doing the best we can with all that. And today though is super important because you need to 10x your power. So first of all, what do I mean when I say power? That's a vague term. Sometimes people think of like political power or military power or something vague and outside of themselves. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about personal power and social power. This is all about you and how you show up in the world. So personal power is your ability to make shit happen in the world. To be able to go out and say, you know what, I'm going to go for a run. You go for a run. I'm going to be able to lift that. You lift that. I want to go talk to that person. You go talk to that person. I'm going to put my mind on this project. Now you might not get the results every time right. You might set your goal for something and fall short, but, but you are able to put yourself into it. You have power to take action. That's personal power. The other kind of power that's extremely important is social power. Now social power is your ability to be completely powerful in yourself, around others, around other people. That means you are not afraid of other people. You don't see yourself as less than other people. You're not so worried about other people judging you because you're not scared of them. You assume that you can handle social situations. You assume that other people are generally going to like you because you're an awesome person and you are not constantly pleasing and fearfully being nice so that everybody likes you because that is a sign of very low power. So you see yourself as highly powerful, highly capable, and highly desirable and sought after. That is social power. And that's what we need to 10x in order to have a confidence breakthrough. And the more you increase your social power, the bigger the breakthrough. So here is the first thing we need to do. Before we even talk about how to increase your power, we have to remove some BS story that many of us picked up. I know I did, which is that power is somehow bad. That to be powerful, you're somehow hurting others or doing something wrong or it's shameful or it's bad. You know what I'm talking about. I mean, I used to struggle with this for a long time. I had so much fear of being assertive. I had so much fear of saying no to others, so much fear of not doing whatever other people wanted. Basically to act on my own power would be insulting to them, it would hurt them. They'd be upset, they'd be hurt, they'd be angry, they'd hate me. And so I thought, oh, being powerful is bad. It hurts others. There's something terribly wrong with it. It's like taking advantage of others or it's just this bad person, you know what I'm talking about? And if so, let's just let that go right now. Power is good. You being powerful is good. It's good for you, good for others, it's good for the world. Because when you are powerful, when you have personal power, then you're going to do more in the world. You're not going to hold yourself back so much and you're going to be able to get out there and make a positive impact. Now that could be through your work or through your career, that could be through your relationships on having a positive impact on the people in your life. And when you're more powerful, you're also going to be more direct, more clear. You're going to have better relationships with people. People are going to like you more and you're going to like yourself more. Power is good. It's like, think of it. Instead of this bad thing, think of it like this essential thing like oxygen or food or water. We all need to feel a sense of personal and social power. So power is good. Let's swap out that old story that says it's not power is good. Here's the second thing we need to do. After eliminating that story, we need to stop Giving our power away. I mean, we're just, like, hemorrhaging it. I mean, I would walk into a room and when we're like, oh, I got it. Will you like me? Please like me. Now, whether you say that or not, if that's your energy, how much power do you have in that situation? Zero or close to it. So we're giving our power away because. And here's why. We're giving our power away because we have a faulty map. Let me explain what I mean. You have a faulty map right now, and the map, you know, a map gives us information about how things work, right? It's like, well, if you want to go from here to here, you follow the map. We all have a map or a model or a blueprint of social connections and relationships. And here is an old map that I used to have that's faulty, that's false. It's like, did you ever use MapQuest? I don't even know if it's still around, but I remember when I used to use it when I was younger. This is back earlier in the days of the Internet. You'd go to it and you didn't have smartphones or anything like that. So you'd print out the instructions and you'd have your little map print it out. And I remember driving somewhere and you're kind of following the road, and then it just like dead ends into a fucking cul de sac in someone's neighborhood. And you're like, this is not how I'm going to get there. And now I don't. You know, unless you carried a map around in your car, you're kind of screwed. You have to call someone and get directions. So faulty maps don't get us to where we want to go. And here's a faulty map of human connection that you might be carrying with you in your mind goes something like this. If I am complete, if I give someone everything they could want, and if I never disagree with them and I never challenge them, and I never offend them, and I never question them, and I just agree with them and I do whatever they want all the time, then they're going to like me and we're going to have a great relationship. Another way of saying what's on that map is if I say no to someone, if I challenge someone, if I speak my mind, if I say what I want, then people are going to hate me and not want to be my friend, not want to date me, not want to hire me, not want to be around me. Bad things are going to happen. Right? It's the same way of, it's just saying the same thing in the other way. That's the faulty map. And you know what? It's going to lead you into a cul de sac and not to where you want to go. Because here is a more accurate map. Here is how human relationships work. The more powerful I am, the more I can say what I want and what I don't want, the more I can say no to things I don't want to do, and the more I can say yes to the things I do want to do, and the more I can speak up for myself, the more I can defend something I'm saying, the more I can interrupt someone if they're trying to talk over me, the more powerful I will become and the better our relationship will be. Now that is like a hundred and eighty degree shift. That's the thing that I did not believe for many years. And I just got so sick and tired of living with this faulty map and never getting to where I wanted to go that I was willing to try something else. And maybe you are too. And even if it's scary, even if you doubt it, even if you're like, wait a minute, oh my God, they're really gonna hate me. You know what? Test it out. Because the more you can do this, the more powerful you're gonna become. And you just might find that, that what draws people to you is not you pleasing them, it is you being your full self. People are drawn to that. People want more of that. And you'd be surprised. You can disagree with people, you can challenge them, you can ask them questions, you can say things that they might not like. You can stop them in their tracks when they're trying to tell you something. And they still like you. In fact, they might even like you more. So the next step is we have to start to own this power. One, first power is good. Two, change your map. So instead of giving it away, you show up with your power, you keep your power, and that actually makes people like you more. Then we got to own it. Then we got to do it. That's where it might get a little scary or uncomfortable. Let me give you an example of what I mean. So recently, one of the clients in one of my private mastermind groups, he had a situation where he feels really anxious at work around people, especially people that are supervisors or superiors. He gets really tense. He's extremely skilled at what he does, probably one of the best people in the company. But he hasn't risen to the level that he wants, probably because he's scared to interact with them. He avoids interactions with higher ups. He doesn't show up as powerfully. And he was telling us a story in the Mastermind about how he spoke up in a meeting recently and he was sharing his solution to a problem that they were working on, and someone interrupted him and. And said, no, that's not gonna work anyway. And then shared their opinion. And I said, well, how did you feel in that moment? He was like, I was pissed off. I was like, why is this guy being so rude? I got really angry. I said, this guy's so annoying. I said, oh, well, what did you do? What did you say out loud? And he said, nothing. I just was quiet. He wasn't quiet in his head. He was like, ah, motherfucker. Have you ever been in that situation, you want to go do something, you want to say something, but you don't? So he held himself back. And his fear was about interrupting, was about owning his power, because he was interrupted, because he was not powerful in that situation. So in the group, we did some fun role plays and got other people involved and helped him practice to own his power in that situation to where it ultimately sounded like this. So he starts to share his opinion. The other guy. I'm just going to call the other guy John for a minute. So he's like, so I think the solution to the problem is we need to blank, blank. And then John interrupts and is like, wait a minute, that's not going to work. And we got him to be able to say, hold on, hold on, hold on a second, John. I'm not finished. Let me finish, and then we'll hear your point. So the thing that we're going to need to do is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was fun to see him go from a place of, like, being like, oh, no, I can never say that, to just owning it in the roleplay. And it was awesome. And I have no doubt that he's going to go out into his life this week and start to own that. So that is owning your power. So where would you do that? Would it be speaking up in a meeting? Would it be stopping someone from interrupting you? I had to have so much practice with this one. We recently did some remodeling work on our home. We had a contractor, and that guy could tell a story that would last like 30 minutes with no breaks, no pauses and this and then. And he would do those weird tangents where it would be like, he'd start telling you A story about one thing, you know, his daughter, reasonable, relevant. Not really to our work together, but relevant because in his life, right? So I'm gonna tell my daughter, you know, my daughter is married to this guy, and that guy got his education from here, and his dad is blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I'm like four people removed from your daughter. And we're here to talk about a fucking countertop, man. So I had to get way, way more powerful than I'd ever been, because I'm still, in a lot of ways, more tactful, skillful interrupter, you know, And I had to just become like, boom on it. Boom on it. Boom on it. So he'd say something, I'd be like, yeah, that sounds, really, sounds like, you know, she's great. So about this countertop. And I just kept on redirecting, redirecting. And it was uncomfortable at first, and then I got used to it. So we need to do those things that are uncomfortable. Interrupting, speaking up, asking the question that you really want to ask, approaching the person you really want to approach, saying what you really want to say. I had another client who was dating in his. Working on his dating life, and he was having a hard time because he overcame his fear of approaching and talking to women, which was huge because he'd spent 15 years of his life totally unable to do that. And in about six months working with me, one on one, we were doing one on one coaching. He was like, approaching women in supermarkets, I mean, places that 90% of guys would be scared to do. So I was super proud of him. I'm like, you're crushing it. You're doing great. But then he ran into this next obstacle, which was like, oh, you know, she didn't seem that interested. She left the conversation. She doesn't want to give me her number. Or they would go on one date with him and then not want to see him again. He was really frustrated. And so I started asking questions about how he talked to them and how the dates went. And I realized that he was so scared of saying the wrong thing, of offending them, of hurting their feelings, of being jerk, of just anything that could ruffle their feathers. And I'm not talking about highly offensive stuff here. I'm just talking about challenging, teasing, not being anything other than like, oh, yeah, you're great, please like me, you know, but just be like, wait a minute, is that really true? No. You know, or just giving her a hard time for something in a fun way. You're just being his full self like he would if he was with a friend or with anyone that he was totally relaxed around. And the key point that helped him make a distinction was I said, you want, you don't want just like a platonic one date person who doesn't want to see you again. You want attraction. You want her to be into you. You want it to be fun and exciting, you want it to be alive, you want it to be a charge. And here's the thing, the land of attraction, that's what you, that's where you want to go, is the same place as the land of offending. He's like, what I was like, cause here's the thing, you open your mouth to make a joke. And even if you have the best intentions and your heart's in the right place and you're not being mean, you could offend her. That's just how it goes. And that's just not with women, that's with anyone, right? You're in a group of people, you want to tell a story, you want to tell a joke. Someone could not like your story, Someone could be offended. And that's where the attraction is. That's where people are going to like you. That's where people are going to be drawn to you. It's in the same place. You don't know until you've done it. And you just got to live in that land and keep doing it. And you know what, most people, it's going to fall into the attraction category. Some people are not going to like it, some people are going to be offended. And that's okay. And that's how we build up our power. And power is one of my most favorite topics. In fact, in my upcoming weekend, the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough is entirely dedicated to power. And there's some stuff we do. I mean, we're talking kind of more mental map how to approach life. A huge part of power is in your body, is in your physical body. If you're standing upright and tall and breathing deep and your shoulders are back and you're walking around like that, your power is automatically different than if you're slumped down, you're not making eye contact, you won't look at people, your voice is quiet. So much of that power comes from our physical body. And we do some fun exercises at the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough to help people activate power in a way they have never done before. I pretty much guarantee you've never done it before. So it's pretty fun and exciting. There's so much more about that. The key though is to also Activate your body. When it comes to power and owning your power, it's got to come across in your voice. You got to be congruent with it. So the question I have for you is, where are you going to show up this today, tomorrow, right away, as soon as possible. You want to implement this stuff, you want to apply this stuff. Because intellectual learning takes, it's a dime a dozen. There's so much fucking information on the Internet right now. You could sit back and take in information 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year for like, I don't know, 40,000 years and not even ingest at all. Maybe 400 million years. I don't fucking know. There's way too much information out there. This is about applying it. This is about transformation. This is about taking fucking action. So share in the comments below. What are you going to do? What actions are you going to take? What did you find most valuable? What are you going to apply in your life? Or maybe even go do something? And then share below with us, how did it go? What actions did you take? And remember, we're going to be giving a free ticket to the Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough. Tickets are going on sale pretty soon here. We'll give you a free ticket. We're going to pick one person to do that. That should be fun and exciting and yeah, share your comments below. I love to read them and stay in touch in that way. And. And the third video coming up soon is going to be the secret to getting what you want. Really, what you want is results. You want extraordinary results. You want the things that excite and inspire you. And I'm going to share the one secret to getting those results and way faster than you think is possible. So stay tuned for that video and until we speak. Then may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.