Dr. Aziz contrasts conditional confidence, which crumbles when you lose a job or status, with unconditional confidence: deciding you're worthy no matter what happens. He uses Jerry's story to show how external wins can't protect your self-worth, then walks through a simple exercise to practice believing it.
Is unconditional confidence possible? My answer is yes. What's yours? Unconditional confidence. You know what that means? Well, let me show you what conditional confidence is. It's the opposite. I was working with a man, we'll just call him Jerry, and he seemed confident, especially when he was at work and sharing his ideas and doing other things. But his confidence was based upon his position, his income, his power, his status. And he didn't realize it until one day he got laid off and it shattered his world. He felt worthless. He felt ashamed. He felt like he was nothing. And it might have seemed like the worst thing that happened in his life, but it was actually the best thing because he came to work with me and he realized, like, oh, my gosh, I thought I was a confident person and I wasn't. My confidence was coming from this. So his confidence was conditional. And the question I have for you is, what are the conditions for you to feel confident? Is it that your job? Is it that someone likes you or responds positively to you? Is it that you get sexual attention or energy or something from someone that you're attracted to? And whatever the conditions are, or maybe it's achievement of certain goals or you look a certain way in the mirror or you have a certain body physique or something. Whatever it is, even if it's things that seem healthy or worth striving for, there's a problem. There's the seed of your own confidence destruction planted in there. Because, sure, you might feel great as you achieve more and I earn more in my career or I got a better body or more people want to have sex with me. Like, yes. Ha ha. Absolute power. That's awesome. You're on the upswing, right? But guess what? That's temporary. Because you're not always going to win. You're not going to always have people that want to sleep with you. You're not going to always get the win, get the next job, or get the next promotion. You might get laid off. You might get fired, you might get divorced. You might have stuff. You will have stuff happen in this life that's hard, that's painful, where you lose things. So that's why we need unconditional confidence. Unconditional confidence is where you unhook your sense of self worth and that you have a right to feel confident and love yourself and be on your own side. That doesn't have to be based on anything. In fact, that comes from a core decision that you can make right now, to be on your own side and to say, I am worthy no matter what. And this is a mantra that I've used myself and I recommend it with clients. I am worthy no matter what. And just keep saying to yourself that in fact say that to yourself right now and notice how true it feels. Just on a gut level scale 1 to 10, how true does it feel to say I am worthy right now? And if the answer is that sounds good, but honestly it feels like a 2, it does not feel true at all. Work on that, Work on that. Find what self judgment, what grudge you're holding against yourself, what perfectionistic standards you have for yourself. Release those things one by one, get on your own side and come to a place of I am worthy no matter what. Because when you do that, not only do you feel better in the moment, but the ups and downs of the day to day life do not disturb you so much because your worth is not on this roller coaster. And if you're finding this valuable and you want to go further with this, you might be wondering, well, how exactly do I do this? There's only so much I can share in these short videos. In my program, Confidence University, we have entire courses on how to build solid confidence and then how to do it in core areas of your life like social, dating, relationships and career. But that core confidence foundation is all about how do we get on our own side, how do we really get come to that place of knowing that we're valuable and worthy no matter what and then from there improve our careers and our social life and our romantic life. Because if you're doing it to grasp confidence, it's just all temporary. Let's make it permanent, let's make it rock solid. So if you want to find out more about that, go to TheConfidenceUniversity.com we'll have a link down below in the description too. Theconfidenceuniversity.com and regardless, make the decision right now to own that you're worthy no matter what. And if you do that, big things will start to shift in your life. So thanks for being with me today. Share down below what you're finding most valuable, how you're going to use this, what benefits is this bringing in your life? We can all learn from each other and all rise together until we speak again. May have the courage to know that you're awesome, be on your own side no matter what, and fully be you in every place that you show up in the world. Sa.
