Unlock Ultimate Confidence, Fearlessness, And Strength

Are you solid in yourself? Do you feel fearless when it comes to situations, People handling things, getting up in front of a group? If you want to learn how to develop that rock solid, stable, fearless, ultimate sense of confidence in yourself, then stay tuned because that's exactly what we're going to dive into in today's episode. Welcome to the Art of extraordinary confidence. I'm Dr. Aziz. I'm your host. This is the show for men who want to 10x their confidence in any area of life that matters. Business, sales, presentations, dating, life, social life, anywhere. We got you covered. And today is especially important because we're going to be looking at how to develop an incredibly strong, stable, rock solid sense of confidence. Unshakeable confidence, unflappable confidence, unwavering confidence, no matter what comes your way. And if you think that could be valuable for you, then you're absolutely right. Because so much of our fear and our lack of confidence and our anxiety and our doubt comes from imagining something negative happening in the future, us not being able to handle it, and then feeling really stressed out about it. I'm not going to be able to handle the presentation, it's not going to go well. I'm not going to be able to handle that media, I'm not going to be able to manage my team. We're not gonna meet that deadline. She's not gonna wanna go out with me. She's gonna dump me. They don't like me. We have some imagining of some scary thing in the future and then we feel freaked out. We don't have that solid, stable sense of confidence in ourselves. And here's the key to getting that, to breaking through that fear into that just solid state. Several things. One is to realize that your natural state, confidence in yourself, your natural state is to be relaxed, to know that you can handle things, and to feel okay, just to feel good about approaching situations. And I used to, this is a subtle distinction, but I used to not think that. I used to think that I had to get somewhere or I had to become something or I had to do something else in order to have confidence. And the reality is, all the stuff that I'm teaching you, all the stuff I do to help people break through, is removing all those extra layers of the things that you learned that says you can't handle it. You're not good enough, you're not smart enough, you're going to fail, you're not attractive enough. And as you remove enough of those layers, your natural state of confidence just starts to come out. So how do we do that. I mean, it's a nice theory. It sounds good, maybe it makes you even feel good. But how do we make that a reality in your life? Because this show is not just about feeling good for a few minutes while you watch this. It's about getting into your life, getting into the world, and making a profound shift in your experience. And so that you are that more confident person, you do show up completely differently to all the environments that you go to. So how do we do that? Well, we're going to dive into the world of clinical psychology and pull out a fancy pants term that's called experiential avoidance. Don't go to sleep on me here. I'm going to make it really direct into your life. So basically what psychologists found is that people do what's called experiential avoidance. You can do it a little, you can do it a lot, but it seems like everyone does it on some level. And all that is just. I love psychologists because they get the. They take the simplest thing and they give it the fancy experiential avoidance. You know what that means? Avoiding your experience. Avoiding experiences and the experience that most people try to avoid. You know, there's like you could avoid a certain situation out there, but really what we're trying to avoid is a feeling in here. And most people are trying to avoid their uncomfortable feelings. So they're feeling scared. And what do you do when you're feeling nervous or anxious? You might say, well, I prepare. If it's a presentation, I get out of the situation. If it's a scary situation, I don't do it. I get really just intense and go attack it. Right. These are different strategies. You might have one or several. I know I've done all at different times depending on the situation. But what do most people not do is feel the fear. Like literally feel it. We are scared. We're terrified to feel the fear. So even you might run away from the situation, try to get the fear to go away. We might attack the situation, but we're trying to break through the fear and make it go away. Whatever it is, we're trying to get rid of it. Or maybe you have a drink, maybe you grab some pot, maybe you grab something else. I don't know. Hopefully not too much more than that. But right. People grab something and they try to numb it out, they try to get rid of the feeling. These are all ways that we avoid our experience. But here's the thing, when we do that, we reduce our power. We ultimately reduce our confidence. Because the most Powerful way to build your confidence, to get that rock solid, stable confidence that we've been talking about in this episode, is to go into your experience, to dive right into the center of your experience. Feel that fear fully. Let it take up as much space as you can in your body. Now, most people hear that, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's intense enough already. You know, I'm feeling. On a scale of 0 to 10, I'm feeling a 9 of fear. And you want me to go into it. I mean, it's going to explode. I'm going to die. And that's what people have, whether it's fear or sadness or anger. If I feel this fully, it's going to get so intense and so out of control that I'm going to lose it. I'm going to go crazy. I'm going to be a sobbing mess, and I won't be able to stop. I'm going to be. I'm going to be the Hulk. I'm going to smash through a wall, right? And that's just a story in your mind, because the reality is the intensity of the feeling, the horribleness of the feeling is coming from you trying to get rid of it and trying to resist it. And so the key to unstoppable, unflappable, solid confidence is to do nothing and to feel that fear fully. And the best way to do that is not think about the fear. That's very different. Thinking about the fear is not feeling the fear. When I mean feel it. I mean, imagine I put an ice cube in your hand. You're holding out your hand. I put an ice cube in it. And I said, close your hand. And I said, just close your eyes and feel that ice cube as it slowly melts in your hand. Notice the sensation of it. Notice the coolness of it. Notice where it's touching your skin. Notice if it starts to burn at all because it's so cold. Notice where the liquid starts to trickle. Notice where you feel the liquid trickling down your hand. Just feel all the sensations of it. That's exactly what it's like with your feelings. If you just want to stop avoiding. You want to start feeling. That's what it's going right into it. Your mind might get scared. Oh, my God, this is too much. I can't handle this. Those are just stories want to drop beneath the story. Like, imagine the stories are on the surface of the water. You're going to drop down into the water deeper, and you notice how matter how intense it is on the surface of the water. If you drop down about 10ft, it's calm. So you're going to drop down into that emotion. You're going to find where it is in your body. Emotions are always felt in our body. It could be your throat, could be your face, could be your shoulders or back. Usually it's in your core, in your throat, your chest, your solar plexus, your stomach. And you're just going to breathe and you're going to go right into the center of that feeling. You're just going to feel it, not fight it, not resist it, and just do that. You're not trying to make it go away either. That's the key. Just not trying to make it away. You're just going to feel that feeling, give it space, let it do it, let it spin out, soften and relax. And it will pass through you like a wave. And when we start doing that, we stop avoiding and you go into it. You will find a power and a confidence that you may have never experienced in your life. Even if you've achieved great things, even if you can walk into a meeting and kick ass or do a great sales conversation, even if you can do that stuff, there's going to be a different quality to it now because a lot of that power and through stuff, which I'm a big believer in getting into an empowered state and taking action, but, you know, trying to get. You're still trying to get away from a feeling. And when you're no longer scared of any emotion, any feeling, you're like, yeah, I can feel that it's intense, but I can feel it. Then nothing can phase you. It's a powerful state to be in. So share below about your experience. What is it like to go into the feeling? When have you noticed this? Be effective in your life. What's the most valuable thing that you've gotten from this episode? Share below let's get these ideas out into the world. Let's all help each other to collectively raise our confidence higher and higher and higher till we become our most badass, authentic selves in the world and then start kicking more ass in business and dating and relationships everywhere. You want to use that confidence. So also you can check out additional episodes of the show that should be popping up somewhere around my head right now, thanks to the power of technology. So go ahead and watch another one of those episodes. Keep the learning going. Keep developing yourself and developing your confidence. Because remember, confidence is a skill and you can develop it to whatever level you want to master your life. So thanks for listening. I look forward to speaking with you in the future. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.