Until You Do This, You Won't Get Lasting Confidence

There is one key thing that you must do to create increasing levels of confidence. And if you don't do this one thing, you never will have a high level of confidence, at least not one that will last. And you might be wondering as you're watching this, what is that thing? And trust me, this one trumps all the rest. And it leads to radical change in your life. And this isn't just me speaking from working with a few clients, first of all, decades of experimentation in my own experience, and then also working with hundreds of clients face to face, over a thousand in a group that I've been running, and then thousands more through books and larger workshops and events. So I've really seen this work. And I want you to take this to heart, because you might be wanting more confidence. You might be thinking about and studying and, okay, how do I make this happen? You might have read a lot of books about it, but until you do this, it won't really change. What is this? You know, people say, is it bold action? Do I need to take more action and do some gradual exposure? Yes. Do I need to change the way I talk to myself? Will that help things and stop being critical and get on my own side like you talk about? Yes, that's also good. But what is the thing, I think that really captures it, because what I see people doing is they'll take some action and then they'll stop. They'll try to talk differently to themselves for a little while and they'll stop. What's missing? What are they not doing? Well, here's how I would put it. You have to commit to regularly bet on yourself. That's how I would say it. Commit to regularly bet on yourself. Notice that those words are intentionally chosen and they all have a purpose. Commit. What's a commitment? Commitment is something that's not just, I'll do it one day and then I'll stop. Maybe I'll do it today if I feel like it. Right? That's not a commitment. You know, if you're committed to your health, you're committed to a diet, you're committed to your job, you're committed to your kids, you show up and you do things even when you're kind of not necessarily feeling like it. Right. That's the commitment part of it. So you committed to regularly, as in not just once, but repeatedly betting on yourself. Now, what is that part? Betting on yourself. You mean like on a football team? But on me? I'm not playing any sports. No, here's what betting on yourself is. It's the opposite of listening to that critical voice of doubt that if you study it always points in the same direction. I do this with clients all the time, but what if this doesn't happen or I'm going to try this and it's not going to work out, I'm going to go for this thing and they're not going to like me. They're predicting the future. And then you believe it. And then you say, okay, if that doubt is true and because sometimes fighting the doubt and saying, well, no, it's not true, it's going to go, well, that doesn't work, then we're just in our heads and we're all over the place and it's not really relieving anything. We're just still stuck in it. So instead we have to say, okay, if the doubt was true, where is it steering you in your life? What is it guiding you toward? And hands down, every time I ask a client this, it's guiding them to downsize. As in, don't try, don't do it. Don't go for it, to shrink themselves and their life down as small as possible and just try to hunker through until they die. Don't go ask that person out. Don't take that risk at work. Don't speak up in the meeting. Don't talk louder. Don't change your behaviors. Don't end that relationship. Don't change the way that you're being with your spouse or your family or your friends because they're not going to like you. Don't try that business idea. Don't put yourself out there in social media. Don't, don't, don't, don't. That's where the voice of doubt is leading you. It's saying, don't do it because it's not going to work out anyway. So the path to free yourself is to commit, to regularly bet on yourself. What's betting on yourself? Well, that's saying, you know what? I'm going to do the thing and see if it works out. I'm going to bet on it on me. I'm going to bet on me being able to do the thing. I'm going to bet on me showing up. I'm going to bet on me being able to reach people. I'm going to bet on me being likable and therefore someone wants to be my friend or date me. I'm going to bet on me being competent. I'm going to bet on me being able to learn the thing that I, that I don't know yet by putting myself in the environment where I'm going to learn it. Do you see what I'm saying? So when you bet on you, that's taking the risk that's going into it. That is taking bold action. That is talking differently to yourself. But the difference is you now have made a practice of betting on yourself. And this is where I see it falls off for most people is because they just try to do a little bit of self talk improvement. They try to take a little bit of risk and bold action in life and they haven't committed to betting on themselves and understanding that the mechanism of doubt is there to stop stop you from betting on yourself. And that liberation is going to come when you defy that doubt not just once, but regularly, repeatedly. Does that make sense? So share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable from this video. How is it helping you? How are you going to apply it in your life? Make sure you subscribe if you're benefiting from this and I can't wait to share so much more with you in this year and beyond. And if you want to take things further, check out my website draziz.coM-R-A z I z.com There is a free mini course there called Five Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. You can get started right away. We also have all the list of all my books you can be reading right now. Those are very low cost way to just learn this material and start this. But if you really want to get that commitment in place, I'd recommend something further. And that's where I have coaching. I have a year long program that I'm running with people. It's called the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. You can also check out one of my in person or virtual events because that's a way to come together and really build this momentum and really get that experience of I bet on myself and I see that I can. That either goes well and the voice of doubt is wrong, which is mind blowing, or it doesn't go the way that I want and I realize I can handle it and that's just as liberating if not more so. So check out that website drzeze.com for more and until we speak again may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.