What Does It Really Take To Live A Life Of Confidence?

So what does it really take to live a life of total confidence? Because I think if you're watching this video, that's what you want. Maybe you want more confidence at work in a specific situation. Like, I love to be, you know, more assertive with so and so. Or maybe you want more confidence in your love life, or maybe you want more confidence in public speaking or something. Like, you get there's an area, right? Or. But underneath that, you probably want total confidence. You want a life of confidence. You want to be fully free, to be yourself, to express yourself, to share who you are no matter where you go. Not just in that one situation at work, but all situations at work, and not even just the situations you're in right now at work, but the future situations you'd love to get into as you reach that next level in your workplace. Not just have the confidence to go approach that person and ask them out, but have the confidence to really connect deeply and fully and authentically and date on your terms. And not just have that date connection go well, but to step into a beautiful relationship. And not just have the confidence to do that, but have the confidence to fully be yourself in that relationship and navigate all the twists and turns of that journey. Right? You want confidence every step of the way in all areas of your life. Am I right? I bet if you're watching this. So what does it take? How do we get that? How do we create that? And there's a very specific place I'm recording this video that's part of that. What it takes. And I'll share in just a second where I am. But what it takes is a willingness to follow that next step continuously. Okay, what is that next thing? What do I need to do? What do I need to learn? What do I need to practice? What do I need to apply? You know, I talk about this in a lot of the events and other things I teach. I talk about the five levels of commitment. How committed are you? Level one is how I don't even know. I don't really want it at all. Not committed. Level two is I want it if it's easy and quick, give me the magic pill, the silver bullet. Level three is I'll try. And, you know, as we know, trying is weak. Level four is I'm gonna do my best, and that's powerful, and a lot of stuff happens. And then level five is, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. Now, often when we hear that, we hear level five, we're like, whatever it takes, all right? We start to mobilize ourselves and grit our teeth, and we're gonna make something happen. And that is a way to access more power and more energy to do stuff. But it's not the highest level because it's not sustainable, Right? I mean, that's like gritting your teeth, white. Knuckling it to do something, to get through something. Maybe you can do it a couple of times, maybe you can do it for a week or a month, but not for years, not for the long haul. So the willingness is more of like a little kid, you know? So, like, if you say, hey, let's jump in the pool, and the pool's kind of cold or something like that, you know, a little kid might be like, yeah, we get to go into a pool. Who cares if it's cold? You know? And they just want to jump into the water. And an adult is like, okay, I'm getting in the pool. Here we go. Okay, I'm gonna do it, right? And the little kid's like, yeah, they just jump in the water. So it's more of a curiosity, it's more of a fascination. So I'm like, oh, what's the next step? Oh, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? And yes, there is action required. Yes, you gotta do something. Yes, you have to practice something. There might be some discipline in it, but can we be practicing the art of relaxed discipline that I talk about in my book on my own side? Omos. The art of relaxed discipline doesn't have to be so. Teeth gritty. Teeth gritty is not gonna work. So if you notice yourself clenching, mobilizing, just say, okay, let's see if I can ease up a little bit and still continue to take that next step. So where am I and what does it have to do with this video? Well, I'm actually out here in a place called Bingen, Washington. I'm in my car, as you can tell. And that right there is a chiropractor's office. And it's a fascinating form of chiropractic care. It's called network spinal, and it was invented by a chiropractor named Donnie Epstein. And it's basically energy work. I mean, they are, like, not cracking you in any way. It's like touching little bits of your spine and opening up, you know, the energy centers in your body. And it's an hour from my house, and I've been coming out here twice a week. An hour each way. I drive an hour. I'm in there for, like, 20, 30 minutes tops. And then I turn around and drive an hour home. And I've been doing that twice a week for six or eight months, something like that. Six, seven months, something like that. Why? Because I'm always open to the next thing. I'm learning, I'm testing, I'm growing. And I learned along my journey with pain, which you might have heard me talk about, that pain is not structural. For most people, by myself included, pain is emotional, pain is energetic. Pain is a pattern of how you relate to life. So what am I doing here? Well, by doing this chiropractic energy work, it's opening up the next level of safety in my nervous system way beneath the conscious mind and congruence in myself. Coherence to be fully aligned, fully authentic. And I'll maybe do another video about that, this specifically at some other point. And actually I'm going to try to interview him. Not try. I will interview him for my podcast, Shrink for the Shy Guy. So if you're not listening to Shrink for the Shy Guy, check that out. It's a pretty cool podcast. You can find it on itunes and other places. But this is just one small example. Like, that's a big deal to drive, you know, spend five hours out of my week, you know, and to come here and invest the money, invest the time. For me, it's. The time is the biggest thing, right? It's like, oh, yeah. And that's just not. That's just one thing that I'm exploring and doing. I'm like continuously willing to discover the next thing and implement it and practice it and do it. And how do I find a more skillful, more graceful, more easeful way to integrate it or practice it or do it in my life, not that teeth gritty way. And when I see a lot of people who struggle with confidence or people who are wanting to learn from my books or programs or other things, there's kind of like a spectrum, right? There's the people that are more in what I'm talking about, which is what I'm suggesting, which I think is the most effective way, is like willing to do whatever it takes and not just for a week, for the long haul. And then, you know, there's people who are like, okay, I'm gonna do a little bit for a while and I'm gonna achieve a certain level of result. But then this kind of, that's. I just wanna hold that. I don't wanna keep growing. And there's people who are kind of like, okay, I'll get the book, but I don't wanna, wanna read it all. I'll get the book, but I don't wanna do the exercises inside of it. You know, I joined the program, but I don't know if I want to do everything. I don't know if I'm gonna show up to all the calls and do all the things you get out what you put in. So if you want that life of confidence I think you do, especially if you made it this far in the video, then are you willing to do whatever it takes? And what is it that you need to be willing to do? I don't know. Let life show you. Let the next step become clear. Let your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark and just see what is next. Okay. What is next? Show me what's next. All right, I'm. Let me try that out. Let me do it. What if it doesn't work? It's such a waste of time. Bullshit. Just rip that story out of your mind and toss it in the garbage can. Waste of time. Fuck that. That's how we learn. That's how we grow. We try things out. You gotta test it, you gotta see. Everything is gonna contribute to your growth. If you have that, if you make that so you will discover that everything. I've tried all kinds of shit I'm not doing a lot of the stuff that I've tried, I tried it for a little while and I moved on something else. And if I try that thing and I'm like, hmm, okay, that's not right. But here's what I got from it. Here's the distinction I got, here's the learning I got, here's how I'm gonna integrate it. So bring that into your life. Find that willingness. And that willingness is gonna come from one of two places. Either hunger, because you want something that draw to that extraordinary quality of life, of freedom, of confidence, of faith, of love, of joy, of connection, of achievement, of accomplishment, that's a hunger for that. You're drawn to it, you're called to it. Contribution. Or you're sick and tired. You're like, I don't want to live in this fear and this neurotic self judgment and this worry about what other people think. Like, good, use that, get away from that and move towards what you want. And the longer you grow, the more you start to be able to move more and more and more towards what you want and create an extraordinary life for yourself. So thanks for joining me here out in Bingen, Washington. Hope you have a fantastic day until we can talk again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.