Dr. Aziz explores why people feel "I'm not enough" and how shame and fear lead them to shrink away from opportunities. He suggests checking whether you're actually unqualified or just distorting yourself, shifting from self-focus to "we," and using physical practices like open posture and deep breathing to build real confidence.
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So what do you do when you don't feel like enough? That's what we're going to talk about in this video. I think it's going to be really beneficial for you because we can feel like we're not enough in so many different places. Right. You know, I'm not enough to do this thing at work. I'm not enough to be this kind of leader. I'm not enough to lead, you know, get this result. I'm not enough to be hired in this interview. I'm not enough to, for that person to want to date me. I'm not enough to be, you know, I'm not good enough to be a dad or a mom or the husband or the wife. I'm not enough to have these friends. I'm not enough for those important people to like me. Whatever it is, right, can come up in so many different contexts and I'm going to share how we can shift that pretty quickly in this video. So first things first, click down below if you want to feel like enough. Subscribe to this channel. That's your long term answer. Subscribe. Hit the bell notification. It's free. You get to watch videos of me teaching valuable things that I'm learning and constantly growing and then applying it with clients and sharing the best of the best with you. So you don't want to miss out on those. It also supports me in reaching more people, which is my primary goal at this point. To help spread a culture of confidence, of belief in ourselves, of authenticity. So let's talk about this. I'm not enough and what to do about it. First things first. It's important to realize that I'm not enough is a vague, broad experience. That statement is, is pointing towards something. And it's a feeling of inferiority, shame, fear of dislike and judgment all rolled into one. And before we talk about what to do with that feeling, I just want to highlight what's happening there so you can see it more clearly. Because I think seeing this stuff is a huge part of liberating ourselves. When you're feeling like I'm not enough for whatever the arena is in your life, what is your impulse? Like, what is it that you are? What is that story of I'm not enough steering you towards? Just think about that for a second because that's extremely insightful to what you'll discover there, what it's steering you towards. And I've asked this question of hundreds of people and the answer is always smaller, downsized, less, reduce, avoid, right? So I'm not enough for that date, I don't go. Some part of you is saying, don't go on the date. I'm not enough to ask that person out. Don't ask that person out. I'm not enough to lead this thing at work. Don't volunteer yourself. Don't lead the thing at work. It's trying to downsize you, right? So for me, you know, I used to get so many places where I thought I wasn't enough, and now one of the few places that it comes up still consistently is right before I'm going to run an event. You know, we got a lot of people. Either it's a virtual event, you know, people calling in from all over the world, or in person events, people flying in. And usually about two weeks before the event, the not enough drum will start to bang, and it's like, you're not enough. You can't really help anybody. You're not. You're not good enough to do all this. And if I just take a step back and look at where it's steering me towards, it's steering me towards not having those kinds of events. That's what it's trying to. You know, that part would be happy as can be if I never did those again, but another part of me would be suffering because then I'm not carrying out my purpose. And maybe the same is for you. It's true. So what do we do with that then? So there it is. You know, it's steering me towards downsizing. But I want to. I don't want to downsize. I want to live more, I want to give more, I want to contribute. I want to grow, I want to earn, I want to make a difference. I want to love, I want to connect. There's all this stuff I want to do. So what do I do with that voice and that feeling that I'm not enough? Well, it's important to realize that it is not reality. It is not a real reflection of your skills or your abilities or your loveability or your worthiness. It truly isn't. And you might say, well, hold on a second. Maybe I am dangerously unqualified to do something. Well, okay, assess the situation, right? Like, is someone trying to put you in the pilot seat of an airplane? You don't know how to fly, Right. Is it something you're dangerously unqualified for? Right. Usually not. You know, that person I want to go ask out, like, are you dangerously unqualified to ask, you know, be on a date with that person? No, you know, oh, I can't. Lead this thing at work. Are you like horribly unqualified? No, I was just teasing a client about this recently where he's creating some program in his field of specialty and he's kind of, am I enough to do this or not? And I was like, look, the only, like, you know this material so well, you've been teaching it for 20 years. Of course you know how to teach this audience, right? The only, it would be a problem if you flew me in to go teach to your audience because he teaches in some very niche technical side of things. I just get up there and be like, so what are we doing? You know, I wouldn't know anything. That's the problem. But you do know. I mean, you're not getting promoted in that job. The only reason you're there is because you do know to get there. Does that make sense? So it's distorted. It's this exaggeration of your incapability that's not true. Truth is, if you're there, you might need to learn something, you might need to grow, you might need to figure something out. But that's the game, right? That's what we're here to do. So realize that it's distorted, that it's not true. And then the other tip that's so valuable is to get outside of you, get outside of ourselves. Because when we go into I'm not enough, it becomes so self absorbed. And I'll catch myself on this, you know, like all this event, all these people coming in, or all these people, you're gonna be on zoom with me. Oh, I'm not enough. And then I'll be like, wait, wait a minute. The people don't care about enough or not. It's, are you going to show up? Are you going to give your all? Are you going to deliver the best that you can? That's what's real. Can there be some result that you can help people get or outcome that you can help produce? And beyond that, well, that's what's filled in by others. So when you get outside yourself, you realize it's not all you. No matter what you're doing, there's other people involved. It's a work thing, there's a team, it's a date. Well, probably someone else involved. Unless it's a very strange kind of date that you want to go on, right? So there's other people involved. So what if you just show up and do your part? And what's your part? Well, you'll figure out along the way, but number one is to show up fully. And so let's get down to a real practical just tip. So you can use this right away. So when you notice that, like, ah, I'm not enough, there's going to be this kind of like heavy, almost collapsing thing that your body's going to want to do. And I want you to, like, counteract that dramatically. So if you can right now with me, do it. Otherwise you're, you know, sitting down somewhere, do it later. But you're going to bring. You're going to roll your shoulders. I do this all the time. I'll roll my shoulders black. And I have. My chest is more open. I take a big breath. And now I'm in a completely different body posture. And then I'll say something out loud like, bring it on, let's do this. Or powerful one. We got this. We got this. And even that's just a subtle distinction, but I got this might be powerful and that might, you know, juice you up a little bit. I got this. I got this. But I find it's even more powerful to say we got this. Because the truth is, it's not all you, it's not all me, it's we. We're coming together. We're going to shift this. We are enough together. And I believe that if you come in being like, we got this, I'm going to give my all. Let's go. That not only do other people step up and you guys work better together, but something bigger comes through. Whether you want to call it the divine or God or life, like something moves in and then it is truly a we, even beyond just, you know, the humans involved. So hope this supports you. And if you want to go further with this, by all means, check out my book@drazeez.com in the link down below in the description where you can download 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence and start to radically increase your confidence. Starting today. It's an instant download, so check that out. And until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
