Why Confidence Is An Inside Job

Confidence is an inside job. What does that mean? That means that most everything that you have been trying to do to build confidence is not going to work, is never going to work, and is never going to bring a sustainable sense of confidence to your life. And that's actually good news. Such good news. Because whatever you've been trying to do, whatever people typically try to do, is is a super long, endless journey that never gets you to the destination, never gets you to where you want to be. You know, I'm going to perfect myself and then I can be confident I'm going to earn X amount of money and then I can be confident I'm going to achieve X in my career. Then I can be confident I'm going to get this kind of body appearance and then I'll be confident, then I'll feel good about myself if I get this kind of person to like me or marry me or hire me or, you know, this and that and that and that and that. And it hasn't worked yet or I got it for a little while and then I felt good about myself and then I lost it. Now I'm not confident anymore and we're hustling and it's never going to work. And that's actually fantastic news because something else is possible. We're talking about that in this video. By the way. If you want to get the fast track to build your confidence, make sure if you haven't already picked it up, get my eBook 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. You can get it at draziz.coM-R-A z I z.com. you can also click down below in the description and get yourself a copy of that because that will help you move things forward so much faster in your life. So what have you been trying, what have you been doing to try to build that confidence? Where does it think? Like if I get X or if I can be like Y, then I can feel good about myself, then I can like who I am, then I can feel confident, then I can feel relaxed around other people. What is the criteria? Another way to say this question is what has been your criteria for confidence? Your confidence criteria. That means the things that must happen in order for you to feel fully confident in yourself. So what has in the past, what has had to happen for you to feel fully confident about yourself? Does everyone have to like you? Right? Because if someone judged you or didn't want to talk to you, would your confidence plummet? Does everyone you ask out have to say yes to you? Does everyone that you're interested in have to respond to you in the same quick amount of time that you want. Do you always have to be earning more money? Do you always have to be getting more or more impressive accolades in your career? Do you always, always have to be progressing on all your projects as fast and as impatiently as you want them to go? Or else what? Or else you feel frustrated? Or else you feel like a failure? Or else you feel anxious? Or else you feel like you're not enough? Those are signs of your confidence criteria, so you can identify what some of them have been. The good news is you don't have to know every single one to change this. You just have to see that none of them work. None of them work. You might say, no, no, no. When I had that person who's really attractive and smart or whatever who was into me, I felt like I was awesome. Yeah, okay. And did it last? Either did you break up and then you felt terrible or, you know, maybe you're still together, but you still don't have that natural sense. Right. There's a phase of a relationship you're kind of like, huh, huh? And then, you know, five years later, 10 years later, has it changed? Maybe it's a different dynamic. Maybe it's a little less like, I'm the man because I got you, and it's more like, hey, we're doing life together and I love you and what's our next adventure together? It's a different feel, but you might not be drawing such a sense of confidence in the same way. And so now you're looking for something else. Do you see that pattern? So that's why I say confidence is an inside job. That's why I talk about in that eBook, five steps to unleash youh Inner Confidence. Confidence is an inside job. What does that mean? That means you change your perceptions and your confidence changes not. You change your circumstances and get everything you think you're supposed to have, and then you get confidence. It's putting the pieces in a different direction. I was going to say putting the horse before the cart, but I don't even know what that metaphor means. You know, maybe you've heard that putting the cart before the horse, whatever it is, it's putting the cart before the horse. It's not going to go anywhere. Yeah, nailed that metaphor. In any case, what it means is you unravel the way that you perceive you, the way you talk to you, the way that you stop loving yourself, stop being on your own side, stop encouraging yourself. You see those Patterns. And you say, well, that's where I lose my confidence right there. Let me give you an example. So let's say you want to speak up in a situation, be more bold, be more expressive. Maybe it's at work, maybe it's in a social situation. And then there's that voice in your head that says, that's not going to go well. People aren't going to like what you say. You're not very smart. That is the problem right there. Not your intelligence, not your attractiveness, not even what other people are going to think. It is you. And when you change that, when you stop being believing that voice that says you're not smart, you can't do it, you're not enough. And you really disengage from it. You're like, okay, I don't believe that anymore. That is not truth. It's like someone saying, hey, I heard that tomorrow the moon is going to explode. And you're like, okay, unlikely. You probably would just dismiss that. And it's the same kind of thing. We're just like, okay, weird noise all of a sudden. You'll feel more spacious, you'll feel more capable and you'll speak up. You didn't have to become a thousand times better at communication. You didn't have to look way better to be attractive or whatever you're telling yourself. You just needed to shift that inner game. That's where confidence is. And then you're able to take different actions in the world, which gets different results. And you can start to build a greater sense of capability, of competence, of, oh, I can do things. And that's a different kind of confidence. That's self efficacy. That means I can make stuff happen, I can get stuff done, I'm capable. And you get that by doing what? Taking lots of actions and demonstrating and learning that you're capable. So when we change the inner, we feel better, we take more action, which builds more confidence. And the cycle goes up and up and up. So you gotta get control of this process. And don't just take my word for it. Look at your own life. Has achieving any certain amount of things forever fixed that issue? I mean, I know people who have like, they're overflowing with all the things that you're supposed to want in life. They have more than of everything, you know, they have money, they have success, they have accolades, they're love, they have a family, they have whatever. They have people, and it's not enough. And they feel guilty and they feel inadequate and they got to do more. Is that confidence doesn't look like confidence to me. So we got to see through that. Start getting control now. There's tons of videos on this channel to give you tips on how to do that. Obviously you can check out my eBook, 5 Steps to Unleash youh Inner Confidence. And if you want to go further, check out the coaching page on draziz.com-a z I z.com there's a tab that says coaching and you can learn about how I work with people and group programs that just absolutely transform everything in short periods of time. Because I mean, this is where you can make massive headway when you can just change this and everything around you starts to change. So thanks for being with me. Share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable Give this video a like if you haven't if you made it this far, you obviously like it. And also make sure you subscribe to this channel for more videos too. Beautiful. Thanks for being with me. And until we speak again, may I have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.