Dr. Aziz explains why rejection feels so painful: first, people project a single rejection into a negative future (e.g., "No one's gonna want to..."), and second, they interpret rejection as evidence of personal inadequacy (feeling "inadequate," "not as good"). He counters both by reframing rejection as information — one person's "no" — and encourages testing with the next person.
So why does rejection hurt so much? It's two reasons. One, when you get rejected, you project into the future and imagine this is gonna keep happening. No one's gonna want to go out with me. No one's gonna hire me, no one's gonna buy from me. No one's gonna want to be my friend. And that's painful and a pretty depressing future to imagine. And number two, the reason it's gonna keep happening is because there's something wrong with me. Deep down, you believe, like, oh, I'm missing something. I'm inadequate. I'm not as good, I'm not as attractive, not as popular, not as worthy. And therefore, this is gonna keep happening, and painful results. And that's what makes rejection so painful. The good news is, neither of those is true. The truth is, rejection is information, and that person gave you a no. Let's find out what the next person says.
