Dr. Aziz argues that repeatedly facing your fears doesn't automatically build confidence. You might feel relief after speaking up or taking a risk, but the self-doubt returns before the next similar situation. Exposure alone doesn't make the nervousness stick around less.
Most of the advice out there about facing your fears, overcome your fear, get outside your comfort zone, and eventually all your self-doubt will go away, you'll feel totally confident and crush it in life, that advice is actually wrong. In fact, have you ever pushed through? You spoke up in the meeting, you did the bold thing, you took that next step in your career, you went for that thing in dating, and afterwards, even if it went well, do you feel proud and excited and liberated? Or do you feel more relieved? And then also when the next time rolls around, the next meeting, the next date, the next whatever, are you confident going into it? Do you feel like, well, faced my fear and now it's gonna crush it this time? Or is the doubt there again? Do you question yourself? Do you feel nervous ahead of time? Is it another moment of getting through it?
