Fixers believe their own well-being depends on others' emotional states, adopting the mantra "I'm okay if you're okay." This leads them to assume total responsibility for others' feelings and outcomes, which is exhausting and impossible to sustain.
That's the one thing I do with every client on this is that deep down they don't feel like they're allowed to have a preference, have a desire, because fixers have learned, I'm okay if you're okay. So I'm going to entirely focus on your needs. I'm entirely responsible for your emotions, your emotional state, your health, your life, your everything. And if I can make sure that you're okay, then I can feel okay temporarily. As you can imagine, that's extremely exhausting. It's also kind of impossible because how can you control the emotions of other people and everyone that you come across in your life?
