Dr. Aziz wrote Not Nice to give people a practical roadmap with exercises to stop people-pleasing, overcome social anxiety, and set boundaries. He consolidated guidance from books like No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Disease to Please so he could assign relevant chapters to clients, like chapter three on guilt. Applying these principles helped him sustain romantic relationships and become more authentic.
Hey, Dr. Aziz here. And I wrote this book for you. It's called Not Nice. Just came out. Stop people pleasing, staying silent and feeling guilty, and start speaking up, saying no, asking boldly and unapologetically being yourself, which is really the whole point of this book and perhaps life. And you want to know why I wrote this book. And in a previous video, I share all the contents of it and what's in it and how it's going to help you. But. But in this video, I wanted to share why I wrote it. And basically it was because I was working with person after person, one on one clients, my mastermind program, the live weekends that I do. I was getting emails from the podcast comments in these videos, and I started being like, ah, I want to, like, answer that question. I want a point. This person needs to learn about, you know, they want to be more bold and authentic. They need to learn about how to own themselves, how to find out what they want, how to communicate with boundaries, how to be able to say no, how to have permission to say no, how to know that it's okay to be a little more selfish and take care of yourself. And then there's all that guilt. They have to learn how to work through the guilt. And on and on and on. And I was like, man, I wanted to teach them so many things. So then I would say, well, I need to recommend books to them. So I'd say, okay, well, first things first. And these are just some of the ones that I'd want to recommend because people will be like, what's a good book? And first and foremost, there's a book by. Oh, man, I'm blanking on his name. It's called no more Mr. Nice Guy. Maybe you've heard of it. Maybe you've read it. So I was like, okay, people should read that book, no more Mr. Nice Guy. That one's good. It gives you a lot of practical behavioral advice, but it doesn't really go super deep. I don't think into the psychology of how to heal the emotional challenges that create the niceness. And I was like, okay, they need to read that. Then they need to read this book. I'm gonna drop them all. Called the Disease to Please by Harriet Baker. Then you need to read Healthy Selfishness, which is a great title, great concept, terribly written book, but got some good stuff out of that. Then they need to read Getting Real, which is how to be honest with people and how to stop trying to control them by being all nice and pleasing and just be yourself. Then you need Radical honesty. Because that's just like pulling the ripcord and making you say whatever comes to your mind. It's boldness training. If I ever read it, then you need the gifts of imperfection to know that you don't need to be someone else. You can just be yourself. Definitely need to read Boundaries. Although this book is super religious, which might work for you, but a lot of people are like, bleh. There's, like, a lot of references to the Bible in here, so. So. But really good stuff about boundaries. How to say no, how to say yes, and all that stuff. And then also maybe just see when you can skim. But it's gonna give you an understanding of, like, why you feel insecure, why you feel the need to please others, and why others being upset with you makes you so uncomfortable. It's a lot of books, man, and there's more. And not only that, but you gotta apply everything you're learning in the book, and you gotta have activities and exercises on how to do that. And a lot of those books don't have activities and exercises. Or you can read it all in one little package, which is actually, this is why I wrote this book. Because now I have something where I'm talking to a client, and they're like, yeah, but, you know, I just feel so bad about saying no. I just feel like I'm gonna be a bad person. I'll be like, all right, homework. Go to chapter three, which is called Guilt Bubble. And we're gonna uncover why you feel guilty and help you understand what's going on and then help you shift that. And then we're going to look at chapter blank, and we're going to do this. So it's really like a roadmap for me to more rapidly help people that I'm working with. And guess what? A roadmap to help yourself rapidly overcome this. So get yourself a copy. There's a link below. This book is, I think, has a tremendous power to help you just accelerate your growth. And, you know, I'm going to say one last thing about this. Applying everything that I share in this book has helped me go from being afraid to be myself and afraid to. I could not sustain a relationship, a romantic relationship, without learning what's in this book. And so the keys to not just, you know, get a girlfriend or get a boyfriend, but, like, really have an awesome relationship where you can really relax and be yourself. Not only that, but in your friendships and do so in your work and at the same time being yourself, but, like, in a way. That's people are drawn to you. You're more powerful. Because the opposite of Nice is not to be this terrible person. It's to be the most powerful, bold, authentic version of you. And that's what this book is going to help you do. So get your copy. Let me know what you think. You can leave a review, share about your experience, and I can't wait to hear about it until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
