Dr. Aziz breaks down why saying no feels impossible: fear of hurting others and a deep belief you don't have permission to refuse. The fix is giving yourself that permission, treating self-care as healthy, and seeing boundaries as a gift to others, not a rejection.
So why is it so hard to say no? There's two reasons. One, you're afraid that if you say no you're gonna hurt somebody or make them upset with you and you are absolutely terrified of either of those situations. You're gonna feel really guilty. You're feel like you're a bad person and you're also afraid that they're gonna retaliate or withdraw from you if you say no. The second reason that you're afraid is because on some level you don't have permission to say no. You think saying no makes you a selfish or a bad person and as a result your hands are tied behind your back and you have to say yes when you want to or need to say no. So what's the solution? Is to give yourself permission. It's healthy to say no and take care of yourself. And two, realize that when you're taking care of yourself, you're not hurting or damaging others. You're actually giving everyone involved a gift.
