Why Loss Is GOOD!

Is loss good? Losing someone that you love, losing a job, losing some aspect of your health, is that good? How could that be good? Right? I mean, our general way of seeing the world, that stuff's painful and so it's bad. And I understand that it's painful and I get it. And I want to share an idea here that can actually help open you up to the possibility that it's actually potentially really beneficial in our lives, even though it might be painful. So I want to share a story that will help illustrate that. And recently, me and my wife, we got puppies and we got two of them and they're utterly adorable. They're two cavalier King Charles spaniels. And yeah, we have two little boys and we thought, why not get two puppies as well? What could possibly go wrong? And it was pretty intense to bring two little puppies in. We had a three and a half year old Arman who would just like, he has no self control around them. He's like, I want to pick up the puppy. Oh, that's sweet. I, I want to drop the puppy and throw it. Ah, less sweet, you know, so tons of supervision, you know, can't cook, can't do whatever. Just gotta make sure the puppies are safe. And then of course, potty training and waking up in the night and all that stuff. Big deal. If you've ever raised a puppy or two, you know what I'm talking about. Plus little kids. And then of course, you know, people are saying, hey, just get one puppy, that's easier than two. And we're like, but we want to do it the hard way. So we got two. And they're amazing. Now when we pick them up from the breeder, she said, hey, this one, one of the two of them has a heart murmur. And it's pretty typical for a lot of dogs, especially this breed. They outgrow it usually in a couple months. So just as your vet checks, they'll check their heart and whatever and, you know, do you still want it? And we'd already chosen the puppy. We were there to pick him up. We're just kind of like, yeah, we're not gonna say no to him just because the potential of a problem with his heart and, and then, you know, flash forward, we take him to the vet appointments and still has it, still has it. And then we go to the vet and they check his heart. And the guy's like, no, there's no heart murmur. And we're like, yes, he outgrew it. And so his name, that puppy's Name is Lion for Lion Heart, because we knew that he had potentially a weak heart. So we called him Lion Heart to give him the strength that he needed in his heart. So that's Lion. And so he says, you know, there's nothing wrong with Lion. His heart's great. So we rejoice. Everything's great. We go to the Back to the vet one more time for a final round of shots the next month. And the woman starts, the vet's listening to his heart. She keeps listening to his heart. Listens. You know, when they're listening that long, you're like, wait a minute. That's not a good sign. Sure enough, she's like, yeah, it sounds like he still has a heart murmur right now, and he's actually past the age now where they're supposed to outgrow it if it's a juvenile heart murmur. So then it's like, hey, you know, you could wait another month and then see, come back, maybe it's gone. But if not, you might want to take him to a cardiologist and do all these tests and figure out he's got a congenital heart defect. And, you know, who knows what that's going to mean? We haven't done that step yet. It could mean that just a minor problem. It could mean a major problem. We don't know. So, you know, this isn't major loss. It's not like he died, and this isn't like a family member who died. So I don't want to extend this instantly to every potential loss. However, I did notice this when we got home that day and we were running around with the dogs, I'd been living in this mode where it was, like, pretty challenging with the puppies, and it was kind of like, oh, man, we just finished potty training and they can sleep in our bed or something. That'll be so nice and easy. And when Armand just gets a little bit older and is a little more predictable with them and treats them a little better, that'll be so much easier. Like, there's this leaning into the future. And then I was playing with lion, and I was like, wait a minute. What if he does have a serious heart issue? What if he's going to die in a year, right? Like, what would I do then? Am I gonna be waiting another six months till it gets better and then start really playing with him? And I was like, wow, you know what? I'm gonna play fully with him right now. And everything just shifted. I don't think it was even a verbal thought. It was just A sense of, like, presence. Of, like, this is it. This is it. Because we don't know what's gonna happen with his heart. We don't know how long he's gonna live. And the same thing is gonna be true for everyone in your life and every relationship in your life. And we all think, okay, we're all going to die when we get older. And that's great because, you know, we'll have plenty of years together. We have this sort of fantasy because the reality is destabilizing. The reality that my wife Candice, could die today in a car accident is freaky, right? So we're like, ugh, I don't want to think about that. And not that you do need to walk around thinking about that all day long, but an awareness of that to bring us back into this is what we got, this moment right here. Because I don't know if I'm gonna have another day with this person and really taking that in to. Then bring yourself to a place of presence, to really be with that dog, really be with that person, really be with your spouse, really be with your kid, really be with your colleagues. What if this is your last day at work? Do you want to hold nothing back? Give everything you got? Do you want to share? Is there something you want to say more directly, more overtly? You know, I think about that sometimes before I lead live events because that's where I'll still feel some social anxiety, like, oh, I'm putting my ideas out there. There's a lot of people here. I got, you know, do good enough for them and be good enough and be liked. And sometimes I'll ask myself, what if this was the last one I led? What if I died, like, this Monday after I led this live event? What would I do? And it's not just so much verbal stuff. It's just a feeling like I would hold nothing back. I would share everything I got. I'd say everything I saw that could help somebody, even if it might upset them, even if they might disagree with me, I would hold nothing back. Same thing with my kids, Same thing with my wife. So what is it for you? What is the loss? And maybe you experienced the loss of a relative or of a relationship or of a pet or something, and it just, like, boom, hit you, and you realize exactly what I'm talking about. And maybe it was recently, so it's fresh. Maybe it was a long time ago. And this video is reminding you of that. And that's my goal in recording this to hopefully it brings you back into this moment, this day, right now. How do you want to show up? How do you want to be? So share in the comments below what's affecting you? What's this reminding you of? Any stories you want to share? I love love love the comments on YouTube. It's such an amazing place to get a like minded group of people together and if you want to go even further and join into a like minded group of people down below in the description we'll have a link to my Facebook group Confidence warriors where it's the same thing. You can join in and there's posts and videos and sharing and more of a community to be a part of absolutely for free. So go there. Click down below to join the Facebook share below in the comments here and I look forward to speaking with you until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.