Dr. Aziz explains a recurring low-confidence pattern that stifles people's dreams by prompting immediate self-dismissal ("can't do that") when possibilities arise. He argues this pattern often reflects an underlying unwillingness to experience failure, risk, rejection, effort, or disapproval, and recommends truthfully naming that unwillingness (e.g., "I'm unwilling to experience rejection") as a first step toward curiosity and change.
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Let's talk about you killing your dreams. I know it sounds pretty terrible, but trust me, this is going to be extremely helpful for you because there's a pattern that you and I and anyone else can run that basically strangles our possible futures and our dreams. It's a low confidence pattern and it can be pretty consistent, pervasive, invisible to you, and can cut a lot of possibilities off of the past. So I have to highlight it for you so you can see through it and, and get to the other side, which is a more free, confident version of you and specifically a confident version of you who can create stuff in the world, whether it's a certain experience, socially connecting with others, a more alive, fulfilled life, better relationships, more power and confidence in your career. That all comes from being able to see through this. And what's the this that I'm talking about? It is a pattern in which you stop a dream in its tracks by having a very like, closed off, deflated certain stance towards what's possible for you. I see this all the time in people and it's kind of like a, almost like a hardened cynicism or something like that. And so you think about something, or maybe you see someone else who's doing something you would want to do, or you imagine yourself doing something and it's almost like the imagining can't even fully emerge. It starts to come out of you. You start to say, oh, what about if I could do. Ah. It's like a little bit of bright energy. And then instantly this pattern comes in and this pattern is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And it does that. It's like a dismissing sweeping of the hand and it says, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not, you can't, it's not, no, can't do that, you can't do it, can't do it, can't do it. And this comes like, the lower your confidence, the more this pattern runs in more areas of your life. So you might not be doing this everywhere, right? Maybe you do let yourself dream in your career, but you're not in your love life or vice versa, your love life. You can imagine a great relationship or you are in a great relationship, but you want to pursue something. I was just talking in one of our Mastermind members recently who's wanting to make a career shift. And she'd been working jobs that weren't necessarily her calling and what she's best at. And so we started to explore what that might be. And sure enough, she had Ideas people often always know underneath. But it was deep under this thick layer of mud that says, you can't come on, come on. Right? That is what you got to notice. Because the way that she was responding to it for years, and you might be, is believing it as true. As if that was like a valid analysis of what her career options were or what your relationship options, as if it's true. It's like this is how it is and it is not. It is a thick layer of defensiveness blocking you off from life, right? Because to live is to feel the call and to feel your dreams and to feel what you want to do and create while you're here and to go for it with an open heart where you're going to succeed sometimes, you're going to fail sometimes, but you're going to keep exploring, keep doing, keep being. And when there's some unwillingness, then you'll close down with that shell. So my question for you is, what are you unwilling to do or to experience? That's what it always comes down to. And people say, well, I don't know, whatever, the story is true. No, put it down. Story's not true. What if you could. What might you be unwilling to do or experience right now? Usually comes down to a couple things. I'm unwilling to experience failure. Test something out. It doesn't go the way I want right away. That's failure. I don't want to do that. I'm unwilling to experience risk. I got to put myself out there, put my heart out there, put my money out there, put my whatever out there. If you're unwilling to do that, then you're going to believe this old story and stay safe with that. Unwilling to experience disapproval or rejection or confusion or effort. Work, effort over time, hard work. It's all these experiences that we don't want to have. And it's so much more empowering and liberating to say, you know what? I could take steps towards that dream, but currently am unwilling to because I am unwilling to experience failure. Now, it's a bit of a mouthful, but do you see how much more true that is? I'm going to say that one more time because if you get this, you're going to be able to see through it and start to choose from a place of so much more power. So instead of saying I'll never be able to have a relationship or I'll never that, you know, I'll never be able to do work that I enjoy, you could say, I could take steps towards creating a relationship. But currently I'm unwilling to because I'm unwilling to experience rejection. Now how is that beneficial to say? You might say, that's a terrible affirmation, Aziz. Well, the reason why it's beneficial to say is because it's truth. And truth will set you free. Truth is powerful. The sword of truth cuts through all BS stories that you tell yourself. And so you can say, yeah, because I'm unwilling to experience rejection. Now let me look at that. Why am I unwilling to experience rejection? What about rejection is so intolerable? Is it really, like, do I really want to not live my life fully because of that? You might start to get curious. You might start to get frustrated. You might start to get empowered. You might start to do whatever it takes to overcome that fear, to create something extraordinary in your life. So hope this serves you. Share down below what you're finding most useful from this video and until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.
