A client is assertive with a therapist but vague and passive with a coworker named Ryan about an overdue report. Dr. Aziz shows how this gap between who you are in your head and who you are face-to-face keeps problems unsolved. Direct communication and clear deadlines are what actually work.
I asked him, so, you know, what is it that you want to say to him? And when he— my client is with me, he's not in that situation. He's very clear. He's like, Ryan, we need this. We are overdue by more than a month on this. We need to find out whatever— what you're doing that is preventing this from being completed. We need to talk this through until we find a solution. And we need this by next week. We need like a hard deadline next Friday. I need this on my desk. And he describes this whole thing to me. It's like he's a different person with me than with Ryan. Have you noticed that for you? It's like you're a different person when you're alone or when you're with a close friend or where you're sharing your idea clearly, but then in the moment, something else comes out of him. And so I asked him, what happens when you get in the situation? Well, he gets in that situation, he's going to say that. And instead he says, hey, so I just want to check in about that report and how it's going.
