Dr. Aziz explains why harsh self-criticism backfires: your nervous system reads self-directed pressure as a threat, which increases fear and stress instead of building confidence. Beating yourself into shape only adds more threat to an already activated system.
You cannot beat yourself into confidence or authenticity or freedom or being fully alive. And I really want you to slow down and listen to this here because this is profound if you really get it. What I'm telling you is that your system feels under threat, that there's something about that interaction that could feel threatening or dangerous. Then the way we try to get ourselves to do it is we bring this intensity that's like Come on, what's wrong with you, right? It's almost like a parent on the side of a basketball court or soccer field who's just like, why did you miss that shot? Come on, go for it again, make it next time. Is that kid gonna be, uh, crushing it on the court, or is he gonna be playing scared? So if you think about your nervous system is in threat and then you attack yourself to try to get yourself to do something, that's going to stack more threat in your nervous system. Because now if I don't do it, I not only have to have voice in my head just berating me, that will Never work.
