You Don't Have Social Anxiety! | CONFIDENCE COACH, DR. AZIZ

What if you don't have social anxiety? Now let me explain. So I'm Dr. Aziz. I'm the founder of the center for Social Confidence and I am an expert on confidence and social anxiety. So I've been studying for the last 18 years. And if you want to like get the five best, quickest steps to overcome social anxiety, go to drazeez.com and get my ebook there if you haven't already done so. But in this video, I'm going to share what social anxiety is and actually how you might not have it. Now you might say, wait a minute, Aziz, is that positive thinking? Is that wishful thinking? Like I'm just supposed to say I'm confident, I don't have anxiety. I'm confident until you get to my next meeting, my next conversation, my next potential date, opportunity, my next whatever. And I'm clearly anxious. So don't tell me that I don't have social anxiety. Well, hear me out because this is going to be extremely liberating for you. You. So first of all, what is social anxiety? Well, it's not that the term is pretty self explanatory anxiety related to social interaction. Now that could be with people, that could be with people in person, that could be with people over the phone, over text, over email, any sort of connection or communication between people. And there's anxiety there. There's fear there. Fear of what? Fear of judgment, fear of not being liked, fear of being disapproved of. And fear that they're right, that there is something wrong with me, that I am unlovable, that I am unworthy. That's the core of social anxiety. So when you go into those social interactions, you will feel anxious. So how do you not have social anxiety? Well, here's the thing. It's actually a subtle semantic which means language trick of the mind that keeps you bound and stuck in that pattern. Because that's exactly what social anxiety is. It's a pattern. You don't have social anxiety. You do social anxiety. It's not a static trait. It's a verb. It's a moving pattern that can change. Just like, watch this. You ready for this? I am doing jumping jacks. Now you can't see my feet, but I'm doing it for reals. I'm. I'm doing jumping jacks. Do I have jumping jacks? That doesn't even make sense. No, I do jumping jacks. And when I stop doing the jumping jacks, now I'm doing something else. There are times where you do social anxiety and there are times where you don't do social anxiety. I guarantee you that you don't feel anxiety around every human all the time. At the same level, there's probably someone you feel relaxed with. Who is that person? A friend, a lover, a spouse, a kid, your parent, you know. Or there's times where you feel social anxiety around other people and times where you don't. Some dates where you do. Some dates where you don't, you know, some meetings where you do. Some meetings where you don't. So you are doing social anxiety. Now, that might sound like a little language trick or something, but can you feel the liberation of that? Because anything you're doing, you can stop doing and do something else instead. If you have it, where is it? How do I get it out of me? Do I cut it out of me? It's not because you can't, because it's not a physical, real thing. It's a pattern. And that's one of the biggest problems with diagnoses. And I got a background in clinical psychology where I learned all the diagnoses and the whole thing was a little strange because it was like, hey, what are you experiencing? You got anxiety? Okay, Anxiety around other people. All right, you have social anxiety disorder. Yeah, but I just told you that I just. You just. You just took my symptoms and put a label on it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's what you got. Anyway, now insurance will pay for it, so. Right. It's a lot that's not useful for you. Think of it as a pattern. Think of it as a pattern you can change in a moment. Like my lights going off and on. I think one of my kids has the remote. Fantastic. So very good. That was perfect timing. Like these lights can go off and on its patterns. You can change those patterns. You can change them instantly. Check out my podcast if you haven't already. It's called Shrink for the Shy Guy. And there you can learn all about social anxiety and how to transform it forever. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go find my 5 year old and grab the remote out of his hands until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know that your social anxiety patterns can change as rapidly as these lights around me. Until then, know that you're awesome.