A short YouTube video by Dr. Aziz arguing that perfection is an unrealistic, harmful goal. The speaker calls out the background fantasy of a future "perfect" self—free of anxiety and awkwardness—and urges viewers to let go of that demand, practice self-compassion in the present, and engage more courageously with life. The talk mixes examples (relationships, career, prestige) with direct encouragement and behavioral suggestions (be kinder to yourself, stay present).
You will never be perfect. You'll never be perfect. You're always in process, you're always growing, you're always becoming. And that goal that you set for yourself, even if you hit it, it's not over, you're not done. And we have this fantasy, I think most of us have this idea in the background, especially as we start to grow in our confidence and even, especially as we start to make progress. And maybe you're standing a little taller, you're looking people in the eye a little more. You may be saying, wow, maybe I can pursue something in my career, maybe I can go approach that person I'm attracted to. And you start to feel the world open up for you, which is an amazing feeling. And I'm hoping that you're experiencing that already. And if you're not, keep watching my videos on this channel and you will. And even still, we can have this fantasy in the background as we're starting to grow, that goes, you know, one day I'm going to arrive. I don't even know what it's gonna be like, but I'm gonna get there one day. It's gonna be amazing. And we have this vague, unthought out fantasy of us in this perfected state. And for some people it's like, yeah, when I get into that relationship, I'm gonna be. I'm amazing to have gotten into that and to have created that, you know, for other people it's a certain. They start a business or they reach a million dollars a year in their business or their career and they're like, I've arrived. Or a certain prestige goal or popularity goal or whatever your field is, whatever your interests are, whatever your goals are. There's this fantasy that we're going to get there and somehow obtain, achieve a static state of perfection in which you don't have anxiety, in which you don't have a hard time falling asleep because your mind's racing, in which you don't maybe feel down on a certain day or, or you don't feel confused or uncertain of what to say or how to approach something. We have this fantasy of being anxiety free and maybe even think that's what confidence is. If I'm just 100% confident, if 100% bulletproof confidence, then I'll be perfect, then everything will go my way, then no one will judge me. I'll never have any anxiety, I'll never have any awkwardness. So this is not fully conscious. Sometimes it's just floating around in the background. But I wanted to call it out in today's video video to see if you're holding onto that and if so, let it go. It can be so tremendously relieving to know that you're not perfect. I'm not perfect, nobody's perfect. And we don't have to be perfect. In fact, that demand on yourself or your future self to be better, to become perfect is crippling to your confidence. It exacerbates social anxiety and low self esteem and it just makes you feel like you're not there yet and you never will be. And the best thing you can do is just cut that cord, cut that demand on yourself, let those chains go and just be right here in process. Yep, you're working towards a goal. Yep, you want that thing in the future and right now, right now, how are you treating yourself right now? Are you on your own side right now? Can you give yourself more love, more patience, more compassion? Can you talk to yourself in a better way right now? Can you open a little more to life around you in this moment, to the people around you in this moment, Get a little less in here and a little more in here and just start to engage more and more and more right now and let go of this fantasy of this future, of this perfection and be here right now with you, with me, with anyone else that you come across this day in your life. So I hope this serves you well on your path until we speak again. May have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
