A short YouTube talk by Dr. Aziz explaining how being 'too nice' or over-accommodating in relationships can erode personal boundaries and attraction, leading partners to resent and eventually leave. The speaker contrasts kindness with loss of authentic presence and warns that lack of expressed needs/preferences diminishes connection.
I see clients make this mistake all the time and it causes their partner to leave them. They think this mistake is actually helping their relationship instead of driving their partner away. What's the mistake? It's being too nice. I know that sounds shocking. And sometimes they say, what am I supposed to be a jerk? Am I supposed to be an asshole? No, but what you're doing when you're being too nice is you're being over accommodating. You're saying, you know what? Whatever you want, honey, I have no needs. I have no preferences. I'm just going to be whatever you want me to be. And that might seem like it's loving, but actually you lose your. Like a plastic bag that just kind of wraps around the other person. Where are you? Who are you? And as a result, attraction starts to fade. In fact, they might even start to resent you. They want to shake you and say, tell me what you really want. Are you even here? And over time, it drives them away. They start to look for someone else where there's more connection, more charge, more of a real person there. And the nice person watches as their partner walks out of the door and they say, what happened? I was being so nice.
