Your Untapped Confidence Super Power! - Dr. Aziz, Confidence Coach

Hey, Dr. Z's here. And I want to talk with you today about a confidence superpower. This is a way to unlock your confidence at superpower levels. And you don't have to be great or special or 1% of the population or something like that. Anyone can do this. You can do this starting today, starting with the first step. And so I'm going to share this with you in today's video. I'm very excited about it. And basically this, this is going to allow you to have more self confidence, more belief in yourself, more trust in yourself, more willpower, more of your do muscle where you say, I'm going to do that, and then you just do it. And then you can use that to build any other sort of confidence, whether you want to have social confidence, dating confidence, career confidence. Once you've mastered that ability to say, I'm going to go do that, I'm going to talk to that person, I'm going to go approach that person, I'm going to go speak up in this meeting and you do it. Then you just build more and more confidence. So what is the secret? It's your morning routine. Building the ultimate morning routine. Actually, building the ultimate schedule is something that I've been obsessed with for the last couple years. But a piece of that ultimate schedule is your morning routine. So what is the very first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning? In fact, think about that right now. What's the very first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning? Do you know? Is it consciously planned? Is it empowering? Does it serve you? Is it negative? Is it disempowering? What do you do? And then what's the next thing? And then what's the next thing? And what's the next thing? And what I found is that you can build on this. And you start with one thing every morning when the first thing I do when I get up, I'm going to do blank. And then you can add something else that once you've done that, you can stack the next habit. Okay, I'm going to do blank and then I'm going to do blank. And this came to me a couple years back. I was recording the Art of Extraordinary Confidence Summit where I interviewed tons of amazing people. And the more I talked with them and listened to them, it reflected what I already knew. They weren't born confident. A lot of them came from rough backgrounds or feeling extremely insecure in themselves. They weren't born rich, they weren't born beautiful. They were just regular people. Struggling, some of them broken homes, some of them loving families, doesn't matter. And then all of a sudden, they. They built that confidence. And that's where it really struck me. That was two years ago. I said, wow, confidence is a discipline. So I thought, what is the ultimate way to wake up? If you were to sculpt that, what would you do? And that's when I started experimenting with saying something to myself in my head the second I woke up. And I do it to this day. So let's help you. I'm going to share what that is in a second, but let's help you start to construct your routine. What is one thing that you can commit to doing every morning, including weekend mornings? Because when you're building a habit, you want to be like, okay, I'll do it Monday and Thursday and the second Tuesday of the month, because it's too haphazard. It needs to be like clockwork. It needs to be built into your body, like brushing your teeth. You just do it. You just do it. You do it, you do it, do it. And eventually just becomes part of you and takes minimal effort. Maybe you have the occasional day or you're like, I don't know. But it's easy to overcome that and then just becomes part of who you are. And it adds so much to your life. So what is it for you? Is it five minutes of meditation and notice how I'm starting really small? Is it going for a jog? Is it drinking a big glass of water when you first wake up? Something small, something simple? Is it something you might say to yourself in your own mind? Or some questions you might ask yourself right when you get up to kind of prime you for the day? Is it a cold shower? What is it going to be for you? I'm going to do another video soon about cold showers. I'm very into them. I'm going to share my routine in a minute, and that's part of it. What would it be for you? Maybe you already have a morning routine. Let's take it to the next level. Let's stack onto it. So a number of years ago, I mean, I had a morning routine for the longest time. I'd get up, I would do some sort of inner work, meditation, something like that. And that's what I would do. Then as time went on, I started adding, well, I'll do some meditation, then I'll go to the gym. Four days a week. Okay, great. And then I'll go to the gym, and then I'll go to run for the Other day. So I started stacking some sort of physical exercise. And it was when my. About a year after my first son was born when I realized like, man, if I want to progress though, if I want to build what I want to build, if I want to create the products, the books, the videos, the teachings, the seminars, everything that's going to help me spread my mission in the world, I'm going to need more deep, focused work time. So then I started doing this thing that I call farmer schedule. This was a number of years ago where I was like, I couldn't record what I needed to back then. I had a recording studio set up in the basement of our house. Now I have like a professionally designed studio that I work from. Totally soundproofed. Unless one of my kids is banging on the door with a rock, in which case the soundproofing can't help me there. So let's hope no one does that during this video. But back then it was in like the basement of our house. And if anyone was awake, anyone flush the toilet, he would hear it. It would just be like, it's like, am I at a waterfall? What's happening? So I had to do it before everyone got up. And I recorded the original version of Confidence Unleashed, the Confidence Code. If you bought one of those products, where did I record that? In my basement. And it was the time that I found was the kids Woke up at 6:30. Well, at that time it was just one kid, Zaim, and. And he Woke up at 6:30. And so I was like, well, why don't I work from 4:30 to 6:30? And I think at that point I eliminated the self care stuff. Just work mode, right? So I would get up at 4, drink some water, use the bathroom and just start working. Maybe take a shower, something like that to wake up. So I would get two hours in of focused work time. So maybe you want that to be part of your morning ritual, your morning routine. Cal Newport has got a great book called Deep Work. Highly recommend that book, Deep Work, in which he talks about the power of uninterrupted work block time to just achieve incredible things. All the greats that you've heard of that have excelled and created great things block off time for deep work. So I started doing that. And then as time went on, my schedule started to get more and more flexible. I was like, I'll do whatever it takes. So maybe I'll wake up early, maybe I'll do this, I'll change it. And it got more and more extreme in some ways. So Farmer schedule started to become normal. Getting at 4:30 and of course what do you got to do? You got to go to bed earlier. And then our second son was born. And then you know, about a year ago I was like, man, if I want to meditate, I want to go to the gym, I want to do this, I want to work on my book. I have all these things that I want to do. So what am I going to do? I started getting up at three in the morning, just keep pushing it earlier. So I go to bed by 7:30 or 8 and get up at 3. And of course people hear that and they're like, that's crazy. But I'm giving this backstory so you can see that there's a progression to this. And this might not be for you, but I want to highlight like you can take this, like you can design your life, you can design your schedule. And it's incredible. And I'm going to share some of my most recent additions and some of these are really recent, like as in two weeks old. And so it's pretty fresh. I'm just testing it out. I'm always testing and trying new things. But currently I'm experimenting with something called polyphasic sleep where instead of doing all your sleeping in one chunk, you do your sleeping in several chunks. And there's a whole ebook you can buy about it from the Polyphasic Sleep Society. Go there to check it out or just look up some YouTube videos. There's one great YouTube video called I Didn't Sleep. I slept four hours a day for a month. And here's how it went from Brightside I think is the name of the channel. Really good intro video into polyphasic sleep. So what I do is I sleep for about 4 hours and 45 minutes and then take two 25 minute naps during the day. I do it at the same time every day. So now my current routine is I go to sleep at 7pm and I wake up at 11.45pm Then I go use the bathroom, get some water and take a 10 minute cold shower. As cold as it will go, which I measure. The water temperature is 48 degrees here in Portland in the winter. And maybe it'll get colder if it gets more freezing, I don't know. But 48 degrees, pretty damn cold. I got that from Wim Hof. Wim Hof is the man. Check out his stuff. I've learned a ton from him. And then after that I come in my office here and I do some of Wim Hof's breathing techniques and some stretching, some yoga and some meditation or emotional processing, whether it's journaling or whatever. I need to kind of get myself right clear anything from the day before or get, just get into a positive state. So that's about an hour of kind of inner work, self care, body care kind of stuff. Then it's 1:30am and I have from 1:30am to 4:30am to do deep work. And I'm currently training myself to be able to go deeper. And deep work is like, is like a muscle. The more you practice it, the more you practice your ability to stay focused and that impulse to go, ah, I'm going to check Facebook right now or I'm going to go watch that YouTube video right now. And you know, not these YouTube videos, definitely compulsively watch these YouTube videos, but other YouTube videos. You know, if you resist the urge and stay focused, you build that muscle and you can keep doing that again and again and again. So I'm working on doing that now and it's been pretty amazing to see the results. I think doing the ice showers has some influence on the willpower to stay focused on a task. So then it's 4:30am I've done three hours of work and this new schedule, like the other schedules, came about from necessity. I said I'm building a program right now called Confidence University. It's the largest scale, most comprehensive, most powerful confidence training program in the world and I'm very excited about it. And I was making very slow progress on it because I was trying to fit little pockets in here in the day. My day's pretty full now with clients and teaching and mastermind group and live events and stuff. So I said I need deep work block times. So I figured out to do that from 1:30 to 4:30. Now I'm making fantastic progress on it and it feels really good. I'll keep you posted about that as it's going along. I'm recording the dating and relationship mastery aspect course of the program right now. Okay, so then I go to sleep, I take a nap from 4:30 to 5. I mean I'm only sleeping about 25 minutes in there, but 5 minutes to get ready and get my stuff. 4:30 to 5am is my nap. I have a little mat on the floor in my studio here. I'll flip my camera around, you can see it. That's where I sleep. I do that twice a day at 4:30am and 11am and I have a little, I'm sort of. You train yourself with this polyphase of sleep to get ready to be able to nap. I used to never be able to nap. I would consider myself a non napper. And then I learned that you can do it. So it's only been two weeks, but I've trained myself. And so before I nap, I smell a certain smell. I pull out earplugs even though I don't need them because it's quiet in here, but it's part of a ritual. So you're training yourself to get ready to fall asleep. So I do that. And then you lay there and you kind of quiet your mind and go inward and. And now I've been able to start falling asleep pretty quickly. Used to not be able to. For the first maybe three or four days, I wasn't able to nap that well. Then I get up and then I go to the gym. And then that's Monday through Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I get up and I go for a run or do something else. And sometimes the morning block on a Saturday or Sunday is like something fun, something restorative, watch a movie, whatever I would like to do. And this has opened up massive amounts of time in my schedule. And, and so I can use that time to, you know, sometimes during the workdays, working on other things, more time with my kids and my wife. I feel a lot more relaxed around taking a longer lunch break or doing other stuff because I've already done the deep work. So my secret to be able to do that is I think the cold showers is part of it. But most importantly, it's a systematic building of this month after month, year after year. So wherever you are, start by deciding that you're going to create the ultimate morning ritual for yourself, maybe even the ultimate schedule for yourself. And man structure will set you free. If you can set this up. It creates such a sense of freedom and progress and power. So what is the morning ritual for you? You don't have to go crazy, you don't have to wake up at midnight or something like that. That's insane. I know, it's insane. It would have not made sense at all if you introduced that to me a couple years back. But it's been this progression. So start with what's reasonable for you. Maybe it's 15 minutes earlier than you normally go to bed 15 minutes earlier, wake up 15 minutes earlier, maybe it's 30 minutes. But more than the time, decide what it is that you're gonna do. Oh, one other thing I do. This is a little trick to get out of bed. The Second your alarm goes off. So sometimes people say, like, put your alarm in another room, put 17 alarms around your house. And it's like, look, you can use an extrinsic and external thing to make you do something, but then really you wanna build your will to, to say I, when I decide I'm going to do something, I do it. And the way that you do that is you activate your inner will to build that up. So maybe the external alarms around the room are helpful as a kind of a training wheels. But what I recommend is getting super, super, super clear on why you want to wake up earlier, what it's going to bring your life to do this 10 minute of meditation, to do this whatever it is you want to be working out in the morning or having an hour long deep work block, or having time to go for a 30 minute walk or whatever it is that you really would want to do. Maybe it's you want to wake up and you want to play the guitar. Maybe you want to wake up and read books that inspire you, that you just don't do. You don't get to in your busy life, in your busy day, whatever it is. Rumi has a great poem. He says, when you wake up sad and scared, don't go to the study and read, pull down the lute and play music. There are a million ways to kneel down and kiss the ground. I'm paraphrasing there, but you know, so whatever you want to do, don't judge it. Just like whatever you're called to do, whatever excites you, whatever you know is going to enhance your life. And then focus on how much it's going to enhance your life, how much better your life's going to be. Then you're going to get this desire, this internal intrinsic motivation. And then to capitalize on that, what I do is I do identity statements. So the first thing when I wake up is my alarm goes off. I can't have 17 alarms around the house because I sleep. We do a family bed. It's Armand, Candace, Zaim me. And so if I have a loud alarm, in fact I used to have a phone alarm and Candice is like, ah, it wakes me up. At that point it was three in the morning sometimes it woke up Armand and I was like, well, I have this apple watch, I can make it vibrate. I wonder if it can wake me up. And so I trained myself to where that would wake me up. And now this wakes me up. I have a backup alarm that goes off, but it's really Quiet. But I haven't had to use it. But the alarm goes off on my watch. And then right when it goes off, I say to myself, I am strong. I am healthy. I am disciplined. I am strong. I am healthy. I am disciplined. And as I say that, I'm getting up out of bed no matter what, as soon as it goes up, I am strong. I am healthy. I am disciplined. I am strong. I am healthy. I am disciplined. And just saying that as you get up reinforces the action. It reinforces, it's an empowering identity. And you do it and you're proving that identity to be true for yourself. So it reinforces it. And within several days of doing this, you might find you just instantly get up out of bed and you can do this at any time. This doesn't have to be crazy hours. In the early morning, even if you just struggle to get out of bed at 8am or whenever your alarm goes off, eliminate the snooze. Snooze gives you nothing. You know what snooze gives you? Snooze gives you this moment of like, ah, it's a drug. It just gives you that. It doesn't give you good sleep because you're already awake and then you're falling back asleep and you're not going into deep sleep or REM sleep. You're going into like some sort of light wave, sort of wasted time sleep. It's not very restorative. So just get up. It would be much better to be up for a long time and then take a nap, a 25 minute nap later in the day than it would be to just snooze. The snooze is all about that moment of comfort. No, forget that. Instead, say, I am strength, I am healthy, I am disciplined. And then go take a cold shower, man. Start with a minute of that. I'll do another video just on cold showers. So I'm not gonna go there now. This one's long enough. Hopefully this inspires you. I was inspired to share this. One of my team members, Janae, who, if you've ever interacted with me online, you might have talked to her through an email or something. She's awesome and she's seen what I've been doing and she kind of jokes that I'm like semi manic, working on Confidence University. She's like, you're a mad scientist in there. And she's like, you should tell people about this crazy experiment you're doing with your polyphasic sleep. And I was like, all right, why not? So hope it serves you. Use it in your life. Share below in the comments how you're going to use this in your life or what little tweaks what you're committed to doing for your morning ritual. But it's one of the simplest, most powerful confidence hacks that I know, and I hope it serves you in your life. Until we speak again, we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon.