Dr. Aziz explores how the need for approval shapes behavior at work, on dates, and in daily life. People prioritize avoiding disapproval over actually connecting or doing their job well. This "approval trap" runs so deep it undermines authentic engagement even when you're not on social media.
Even though we know on some level, like, I'm a complete human, I have strengths and weaknesses, I have a soul, I am all these different parts, people could love me in all these ways. Sure, zing, right top of mind, we've plugged into the approval economy where it's like, yeah, if they disapprove of me, my worth is in the toilet. And this is what people are living in. We're swimming in it. And that gets us caught into the approval trap, which means I go through my day, whether I'm not even on social media, I go to work, I go to a date, I go to a social gathering, whatever it is. And now I am not there to— well, I'm there to talk to people. I'm there to connect. I'm there to share my ideas or do my work ostensibly. But what I'm kind of really there to do, or at least my higher priority, is to make sure that I maintain approval. But that's actually secondary to avoiding disapproval.
