In this solo talk, Dr. Cara addresses the challenge newly promoted managers face when they must supervise former peers. She argues that a promotion should not erase existing personal connections, but it does require clear boundaries, expectations, and agreements to redefine the relationship. Dr. Cara outlines a practical process: meet individually with each former peer, discuss how the relationship will evolve, and co‑create agreements that protect both the connection and the new supervisory role. She stresses that authentic communication—explaining what the new role entails and what she expects—prevents role confusion and lingering requests for old‑role tasks. Transparency, willingness to sit in uncomfortable conversations, and asking for grace while learning are presented as essential leadership habits. Dr. Cara also encourages embracing curiosity: openly admitting knowledge gaps, modeling a learning mindset, and giving others permission to do the same. The overall message is that by honoring the pre‑existing bond, setting clear structures, and leading with humility and curiosity, a new manager can transition smoothly without losing respect or connection.
Chapters
The day you've been waiting on. You got the promotion, and now you gotta figure out how in the world are you gonna supervise who used to be your peers? I know what to do here because I have been through it. And the thing that reigns true for me is your connection doesn't go away just because your title changes. What do you do? How do you navigate it? Those are questions that were often at top of mind for me And what I did was sought to understand, how can I be a supervisor and still maintain a relationship with someone that was so close to me? What I realized was that connection endured it all, and making sure that there was clarity was really important. So what did I do? I took an opportunity. I met with everyone who was once my peer. And talked about what do you want our relationship to look like? My role is changing. We have a connection and I wanna honor our connection. I also need to honor my new role. So what can we do to make sure that our connection maintains and how can I support you now that I'm in a supervisor role? I wanna make sure that we have boundaries. I wanna make sure that we have expectations set, and most importantly, that we have agreements. Because when we have agreements, then we can come back to those if something doesn't work or something is out of line with what it is that we talked about. So I think it's really important once you are moving into another role, you don't have to change who you are. As a matter of fact, you want to stay who you are because that's what got you the promotion. That being said, you have to remember the work that you used to do is not the work that is expected of you now. And some people may still come to you and ask you to do things that no longer your role. So you have to decide, how am I going to communicate in a way that's true and authentic to myself and also honor the role that I'm now being moved into? Communication is everything in a time like that, making sure that you are not only connecting to yourself but also connecting to other people, and also identifying what are the expectations that I now have for myself and I have for the people that I'm supporting as their leader. Because I believe being a leader means supporting the people that you lead. What did I do? I talked to everybody. I walked and did the little check-in with the office chats, or if they were virtual, I had a quick call and said, hey, I know I'm moving into this role and I'm wondering if we can set some time that's dedicated to really laying out what this is going to look like, because our roles are not going to be on the same level anymore. And I want to make sure that I understand what it is that you do from a level of a supervisor, where you need support. And I want to make sure that you understand what my expectations are now that I'll be your supervisor. So transparency is everything. And also leaning into where you may have discomfort. A lot of times when people move into another role, they're concerned. They're concerned that people won't like them anymore. Someone may think that they're better than they are, or that they may not be looked at in the same regard as their role because they were once the peer. So they may also be taken for granted in that role. However, how you show up as a leader is what's going to make the difference. And recognizing, hey, I'm going to have to lean into conversations that will not be comfortable, And it doesn't mean that my value as a leader, my value as a colleague is any less. This is where recognize your value can come into play and also embodying grace, because you didn't know how to do the job that you did when you got it the first time. And so when you're moving into another job, just because you operated in the same organization, possibly even in the same area of the organization, it doesn't mean that you operated in the role that you would then, or shall I say, now be occupying. So it's important not only to recognize your value so that you can continue to connect with the people who will now be reporting to you and that you will be supporting, and also embodying grace and asking people, hey, can I get some grace in this process? Because I am learning. And while I've been here, I don't know everything about the role. I think it's important to lean into what you don't know. A lot of times we want to act like we know everything. As a matter of fact, have you ever been in a meeting where they use acronyms and I swear to goodness, everybody in the room shaking their head and knowing what it is, and you're thinking in your mind, I don't really know what that is. I say lean into it. I invite you to explore what would it mean if you showed up in a spirit of curiosity, cuz we don't all know everything. And when we lean into or acknowledge that we don't know something, What it does is gives other people permission to not know everything. So as you navigate your career and you elevate and expand into new roles and new positions and find yourself supervising people who used to be your peers, trust and believe you are there for a reason and you don't have to lose the connection because your role has now changed.
