3 Things You MUST Do When He Pulls Away

Hi, I'm Elizabeth Stone, and I'm here to share 3 things you must do immediately when he pulls away from you. One of the hardest things to do in relationship skills land is deciding what the heck to do when he pulls away from you. He may have completely ended your relationship, or you might just sense that things aren't quite right or the same as they were before. Either way, I know how terrible and scary it feels when a man pulls away from you and you fear losing him forever. The worst part about it is if you aren't actually broken up, your emotions around what he's doing can actually sabotage the whole relationship that you're trying to save. And those emotions can get so intense that they cloud your better judgment. It's completely normal to feel afraid, uncertain, and unhappy when a man's withdrawn from you. This feeling of rejection is usually worse if you have a committed relationship or marriage, because when a man pulls away from that, He takes away your feeling of security in the relationship with him. And the good news is that if you handle all of that distance in the right way when he pulls away, your behavior can actually make the relationship stronger in the long run. And if things happen to be going really well between you, keep watching anyway, since this is also a plan for the next time he pulls away, because that is something that is common for men to do even when things aren't wrong with you and the relationship. So here's my 3-step process for what exactly to do when you feel like your man has pulled away from you. The first step is to pause. Sometimes what to do when he pulls away is more about what not to do than anything else. And when you sense that he's withdrawing from you, or worse, you get dumped, I want you to stop everything. Match his withdrawal from your relationship with your own. So take time to gather your thoughts, marshal your inner resources, and get back to your emotional center. Your completely understandable negative feelings of fear and anger over his distance need to be calmed and worked on in private and away from him. Give yourself the gift of space and time apart from each other, and do your best, even though I know it's hard, to stop worrying about what he's doing. It doesn't matter whether you feel like confronting him, venting your feelings, sharing something, or doing something to try to bring him closer. I want you to stop and pause. Doing nothing when a man pulls away is actually doing something very powerful, even if doing nothing feels powerless right now. And remember that there's never any urgency in any interaction with a man unless he's down on one knee And even then, or he's bleeding. So the number 2, second step is to distract yourself. And what I just said needs repeating here. There is absolutely no urgency in any interaction with a man. Slow yourself all the way down and do something else for a while while you get your mind off him for a little bit. Sometimes when you give yourself some time and space, perspective shows up. Everything doesn't seem so urgent. So during this time, don't seek him out, don't ask him what he's doing, don't try to tell him he's wrong somehow, or try to get his attention in any way. Let him have all of the distance in the world. And I know it's counterintuitive, So a good thing to do is to try throwing yourself into something new like a hobby or volunteer work. The third step is to manage your emotions when he does finally get in touch with you. So what we want to do is rage at him. But if you give him space, he'll naturally start to get curious about what you're up to because he will have some time to think about you and space to manage his own emotions. So a man's return after he's pulled away depending on your own personal circumstances, is— usually brings up all of these really mixed emotions. You may be thrilled to hear from him, but angry that he was distant. And once he does get in touch with you and become more emotionally present, depending on your circumstances, you absolutely must not vent your negative emotions at him unnecessarily. It doesn't help. It will push him farther away. And this can be really hard since you might want to give him an earful about how unfair and ridiculous he's been acting by withdrawing or ignoring you. And I truly get it. But the less he can get a rise out of you once he returns, the more it will be clear that withdrawal is not the way to get your attention. It helps to think about it this way: If you lash out at him when he eventually reaches out and becomes vulnerable, and the very act of talking to a potentially angry woman is vulnerable for a man, you are punishing him at the exact time that he's finally doing what you want, which is come closer. And punishing him for what men do naturally, taking space, as infuriating as it can be, will naturally destroy your relationship over the long term. And there are a ton of reasons why men pull away, and lots of them have nothing to do with you or your relationship with him. However, if you choose to vent your anger and initiate a deep talk about the relationship the second that he returns, he'll feel like it was all about you, and he'll feel trapped, even more trapped in your relationship, which will make him pull away from you even more. Since I know that's the exact opposite of what you want, and it can be frustrating That maybe he's oblivious that he's doing anything at all, even though you know that things changed and you can feel the difference in his actions toward you. But if you're going through this right now, I completely understand how frustrating it is.

So just remember, when he pulls away, the 3 steps are to pause, distract yourself, and manage your mixed emotions when he does get in touch with you. And if you keep ending up in situations where you feel ignored, I want you to sign up for my free masterclass, 7 Blocks to Manifesting Love. You'll find out the 7 things that keep you from manifesting the love you want and deserve. Visit manifestlovemasterclass.com to sign up free now. Once again, this is Elizabeth Stone, and thank you so much for watching.