In this advice video, Elizabeth Stone responds to a viewer who asks how to reconnect with a man who says he only wants sex. She explains that when someone is clear about wanting only a no‑strings sexual relationship, the asker has three possible responses: accept the arrangement, reject it, or try to negotiate a different agreement. Stone stresses that accepting the sex‑only deal while hoping for a full relationship is dishonest and likely to lead to frustration. Rejecting the offer protects the asker’s boundaries and opens the possibility of finding a partner whose goals align with theirs, while still leaving the door open to future negotiation if the man’s wishes change. She advises that the asker cannot make the man want more; they can only decide what they are willing to tolerate and must respect themselves by walking away if the terms don’t match their needs. The video concludes with a call to like, subscribe, and consider private coaching or free master classes.
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Hi, I'm Elizabeth Stone. Here's today's question: What can I do when a guy I am trying to reconnect with says he only wants me for sex currently? Well, it sounds like he's pretty clear about what he wants. The email doesn't say anything else, but since our questioner mentioned reconnection, I wonder whether this relationship was significant enough for it to have been exclusive in the past, or whether it was just a fling that he's been consistent about not wanting more from the entire time. So anytime someone is clear about what they want like this and it's different from what you want, you have 3 choices. You get to either accept it, reject it, or negotiate. If you tolerate it and do it halfway, you'll feel it in your body. You're likely to eventually blow up the relationship anyway. So if you accept his offer and follow through with only having sex with him, then it is out of integrity and delusional to expect a full relationship to develop because he is Clearly told you that he is not interested in more from your relationship. If you go ahead with what he wants, then you're giving the clear message that you're willing to go along with it. But he has said exactly what he wants from you. If this agreement doesn't work for you, which it sounds pretty clear from the tone of your question is the case, then it's very important for you to honor yourself and reject his offer for no-string sex. If you reject his offer for sex, you get the opportunity to find someone who wants what you want and then negotiate with this guy if he changes his mind at some future point. If you happen to be still interested in him but you don't want to take his deal, the one for just no-strings sex, you can use your words clearly to reject the offer but not the man. It's really up to you. Your real question seems to be, how do I get this guy to do what I want instead of what he wants? It's time to accept reality here. To have any chance of him changing his mind in the future, you have to take him at his word. To gain anyone's respect, you must move away from being treated differently from how you really want to be treated. If you can't make a deal with him that you're satisfied with, then you must leave him alone, maybe forever. Anything else is disrespectful to both of you. And if at some point he changes his mind, misses you, and offers you a full relationship with him, Then you can decide if you still want that with him. And if he doesn't miss you, then you haven't lost anything. You aren't waiting around, staying stuck and wishing and hoping he'll change his mind while you get more and more attached to him. You're the one who gets to decide whether you give your body to someone who really wants only sex from you. Sometimes that's fun and totally fine. Other times, like when you want something else, it's a recipe for pain and frustration. But you don't get to decide what another person wants, only what you will stand for. All right, please like and subscribe. It really helps the channel to grow. If you're interested in getting my help with your situation, I offer one-on-one private coaching. To book private coaching with me, please go to my website and click the coaching tab at the top of the page. You will see instructions on how to book your call. You— while you're there, you can also sign up for the 2 free master classes. The 7 Blocks to Manifesting Love and 3 Innocent Mistakes Women Make with Men. Otherwise, I wish you the best out there and I will talk to you next time. I'm Elizabeth Stone.
