Elizabeth Stone addresses wanting an ex to obsess over you, arguing obsession usually signals insecurity or a need for control. She says reconnection only works if he loved you before, and the real factor is your own confidence and self-love, not tricks or manipulation.
Chapters
Hi, I'm Elizabeth Stone, and here's today's question: How do I re-attract my ex-boyfriend in a way that he cannot help but fall deeply in love with me and won't be able to stop thinking and obsessing about me? Well, the answer to this question has inspired tons of content since humans have been able to love and reject each other. Songs have been written about wanting this kind of obsession from a man. But first, I want to get into something that people miss when they're thinking like this. Why exactly do you want your ex-boyfriend to feel obsessed with you? Could it be because you imagine that obsession makes you safe and represents relationship security? Is it because getting dumped sucks and you want to feel in control again? If either of those things are true, I get it, but both of them are pretty far off from helpful mindsets. Especially when you want to repair a relationship with someone that you love and maybe who you can't stop thinking about and obsessing over. I found it really interesting that you said you want him to fall deeply in love, because from where I sit, to do a successful reconnection, usually you benefit greatly from your ex-boyfriend already loving you on some level, even if he's mad at you right now. Or he loves you but is not in love with you, as people love to say. If your boyfriend truly loved you at some point, then that's a basic entry requirement for getting back together. Otherwise, it's just a crapshoot whether you're even still interesting to him at all, because he's kind of just a random person you dated at some point. So I'll ask you, were you both in love with each other in the first place? If you were, then you have a better chance of saving the relationship, but you're gonna have to shift your mindset around this. I have literally written hundreds of articles about everything that goes into reconnecting a relationship. I coach people through handling tough situations in their relationships every day. So you can go and read and read and read and watch videos about how to reconnect with your ex and go all the way down the rabbit hole. I mean that. But at the bottom of it, you'll find that your mindset about you— and that's true for everybody who's watching this— is the most important thing in whether you'll ever get the chance to successfully reconnect with your ex-boyfriend. And wanting another human to feel moved to obsession, which is a really icky feeling to be in— obsession doesn't feel good— shows me you're looking on the outside for approval that you would be best served by giving yourself first. Because you're the one who you live with. You're the one who has to feel attractive and irresistible to inspire devotion from anyone else. If and when that condition of attractiveness and devotion and irresistibility becomes real for you, your world will change a lot. But it won't change, and neither will your relationship with anyone else, while you're in this mindset of trying to do some love spell to get him back. If you do some trick to try to make anyone fall in love, then what happens when the spell wears off? What happens when you quit doing the secret handshake or whatever? See, it's a bad idea to think like this. Make yourself irresistible to you and see who else shows up to join you. That's a much better life than trying to make one particular specific person pine after you. There isn't enough security in the world to fill up that hole inside you. You won't truly appreciate that kind of devotion anyway if you haven't worked on your own self-love in the first place. So, food for thought, something to think about. But please like and subscribe to the channel, it really helps the channel to grow. If you're interested in getting my help with your situation, I offer one-on-one coaching. To book one-on-one coaching, go to my website. At the top of the page, you will see a tab that says coaching. On it, you will find instructions for how to book and all the details. Otherwise, I have 2 free master classes that you can take a look at. They are the Seven Blocks to Manifesting Love and the Three Innocent Mistakes Women Make with Men. All you need to do is put in your name and email address to sign up. Otherwise, until next time, I'm Elizabeth Stone. Good luck out there.
