Justin Patrick Pierce argues that women are attracted to equanimity in men: a balanced state where you feel desire without clinging to it or running from it. Extreme neediness and total indifference both repel. Staying centered while acknowledging what you want is what actually opens someone emotionally.
When a man feels his passions or his desires and he starts going out into the world and craving them— craving, it's creepy, it's, uh, that's repulsive to her. When a man feels his passions and his desires and he's avoiding them, he's cutting himself off from them, he's divorcing himself, he doesn't want anything to do with them, She's also turned off by that too. What she wants to feel is perfect consciousness, and that's what we call equanimity. How can he allow his passion and desire to be there without contracting into it? And how does he allow his passion and desire for her to be there without avoiding it or getting scared or contracted? Craving, avoidance, and then in the center we find equanimity. That's why equanimity is so fundamental to this, and that's why it's a spiritual teaching. Because when we find that equanimity as men, that will open her. Thank you for the question, or great question.
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