Justin Patrick Pierce explains that a woman's heart constantly opens and closes in response to subtle cues, driven by protective armor from past hurt. When her heart begins to close, a man who stays still and trustworthy can avoid breaching trust and invite deeper intimacy. Understanding this cycle accounts for about 80% of relational work.
her feminine fullness, she will open and close. And she's always opening and closing moment to moment to moment to moment to moment to moment. Now typically, most of us don't know when she's opening or closing until it's really big. Really obvious, right? Something really significant has to happen, and then we're like, she's closed, she's opening. But if we pay very close attention, we will observe she's always opening and closing every single second. So you're sitting next to her like this, and your hand starts to come up to your face. It gets closer to your nose, closer to your nose, it goes into your nose, and her body just goes, right? Something like this. You're sitting there and you, you just have a rounded posture. You're just like this. You're not thinking. You're just scratching your face like this. In her body, she's closing. She doesn't know that. Then suddenly front surface of your body opens, becomes available to you. She feels you just becoming still and present, and suddenly there's an invitation for her to open, and she feels that her heart softens. She can't even control it. It just starts to sporadically, spontaneously happen in her in response to the way that you're showing up. So I wasn't there with you during all of these interactions. I cannot know what was really going on in those moments. Only you can really know. And you would need to continuously be more and more conscious, more and more aware of what's happening in those interactions. Is she opening or closing? I just did this. Is she opening or closing? I just did this. Opening or closing? I just did this. And when we learn that process, it's phenomenal. You immediately know when you're too close to her. You immediately know if you start to reach out to touch her if it's the right or the wrong moment. And the moment you see her close, you stop and pull away and you become still. If you're uncertain, you stop, you become still, just observe. Whenever you're uncertain, don't keep going, don't keep penetrating towards her, moving towards her, because once she freezes, if you go beyond that point of freezing, you're just and now you're just done. But you could begin to play with her on the most subtle levels, emotionally, physically, subtle energy. It's called subtle energy because all of us can feel when somebody gets too close to us but isn't touching us and our body kind of has this feeling, right? Her body's doing that. Imagine the way you feel it, imagine it times 100. So the more sensitive a person is, the more amplified that experience is. And that would explain why the opposite sex seems so indecisive and unclear and spontaneous and erratic moment to moment, because they're not operating based on consciousness. They're conscious, but they're not using it as the mechanism they're relating to with love. They're using their heart. And the heart is opening and closing in real time depending on the stimulus of the right now moment. Oh, I trust you now. Oh, you just lost my trust. I trust you now. Nope, just lost my trust. Just now, if she closes, you lost my trust, and you close, game over. No more polarity. Maybe there's a fight. Maybe there's some kind of release both of you want to work with together, or you work with it separately. But when she starts to close and you don't close down in the face of that, that's when she'll start to feel there's a man in her life that maybe she can trust more than any other man she's experienced in the past. Every— I'm not going to say every, but almost every woman's narrative in relationship in life is that they gave their love away to someone who broke their heart, who hurt them. Could have been their very first boyfriend in elementary school or middle school, or it could be someone they met last month, last week. But what happens is when you really give your heart to someone, like you Here's my heart. I trust you. And then they violate that trust. A part of her neuromuscular armor goes, whoa, that fucking hurt. I never want to feel that pain again. I want deep love more than anything, anything. But I do not want to hurt like that again. So next time she opens her heart, she opens it this far, and at this capacity, she'll test you. Can— are you trustable? Can I open past this? And she will do a number of different things to see if she can trust you past this point. If you don't close, if you don't intentionally lose her trust, her heart can then open a little bit further and she's going to get scared. She's going to go, "Fuck, that's scary." But if she's here and she tests you and you close or you react or you are the person she assumes you are, she goes, "See?" I told you you couldn't trust a man. I told you you couldn't trust him. I told you. So I'm, I'm cool. I'm cool. We could hang out, but I'm cool, you know? Like, I'm contained. I, I don't— not giving you that part of me. And that's what— women can have sex and still be like this. They, they don't need to open that part of themselves to have sex or be intimate in any capacity. But when you get a woman to actually open her heart because you love her, that is what you want with her, not because you're manipulating her, because you actually want love with her, it's a level of intimacy that cannot be faked. It's a level of trust and surrender. And I believe surrender was your word that you said delighted you. That's when surrender becomes real. When her heart actually opens to you because she can trust you more than the last person who hurt her, because her neuromuscular armor is coming down. That, that's intimacy. So that's your challenge, to feel into that edge. Who do I need to be to not collapse in the midst of that? What does she need from me to feel that I am that trustable presence? Of love consciousness in her life? That becomes your inquiry. And the work that I do, and if you come into, you know, our conversation and the tribe and Yoga of Intimacy and things, you'll learn different techniques and practices you can execute. But the holy grail of practice is just understanding what I just said. So long as you're aware of that process, that's 80% of the work.
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