A firekeeper approaches sexuality like martial arts or art: through practice with breath and body awareness, not rules. Early attempts feel fake, but repetition builds competence and confidence. Picasso spent a lifetime learning to paint like a child, the difference between technique and intuitive creativity.
A firekeeper is someone who embodies love and sexuality with the same dedication that a martial artist approaches combat. And in many ways, a firekeeper is very similar to a mixed martial artist in the sense that a martial artist has many tools and techniques that they can learn— so many different forms of grappling, punching, kicking that you could learn to complete yourself and really find way of expressing yourself that works for you. And sexual yoga is the same. Every tool that I teach, everything that I'm giving you, isn't about you guys being like me or being some ideal masculine man in the world. It's about you developing a relationship with your own sexuality that is intimately your own, and that you feel empowered to develop these skills as a way to express yourself authentically through your sexuality. And that's the unique thing about martial arts and any other art form. Our goal is to really achieve an aptitude, a competency, an intelligence in these techniques such that we can ultimately express ourselves authentically. But the tricky part about it is, is that whenever we start learning a new art form, nothing about it feels authentic. If any of you are musicians or dancers or singers or performers or fighters, you may remember those early days where you would have to sit in the suck as your fingers would stretch, as your vocal cords would stretch, as you begin to learn these new movement patterns that were very unfamiliar to you at the start and initially felt very inauthentic to you. But the same goes for this art form and your own sexuality. At first, you're going to begin putting your body in postures and doing things with your genitals, with your breath, with sexual sensations that feel quite inauthentic to who you are. But once you develop real aptitude in them, you find that you're able to express yourself more authentically than you've ever felt before. It creates freedom in us. And there's this beautiful quote by, uh, the artist Pablo Picasso, and he says, it took me 4 years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child. What he means by that is he was a very talented artist for sure, and he could study the classical techniques and develop some skill. But as an artist, what really inspired him was this raw creativity, this intuition that lives inside of us, and how do we actually express that intelligently. And that's what took him a lifetime. So as we approach all of the practices that I teach you, I would invite all of you to look at it the same for yourself. This isn't about just mastering some set of rules or skills, but ultimately developing a relationship with your own sexuality that gives you radical confidence. Radical confidence in relationship, in and outside of the bedroom.
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