When one partner wants to open the relationship to find variety and passion, the speaker suggests looking deeper first. Before splitting up intimacy, try seeing what your partner actually needs: permission to feel, honest talk, and exploring desire together safely. That fire might already be there.
So a man has that experience and goes, oh, I'm feeling stuffed in my relationship. I need variety. I need to feel freedom. I know, let's go open our relationship and start dating other people. Because the strategy to get that need met is just like, okay, that's the only thing that comes to my mind. But what I want to illustrate here is there are countless ways to get those needs met. There's countless ways to meet his eternal yearning for variety or his need for variety. And you can do it with him together in a relationship. Because what's ultimately in there is, I want to feel spontaneity again. I want to feel passion again. I want to feel variety and touch and experience. All of that is accessible within your union. But it's that level of awareness that we start to recognize we don't have to jump to radical strategies here. What's the strategy that preserves love, trust, and amplifies passion at the same time. And that's what London and I are teaching here. When you hear kind of his position, one of the greatest gifts you can give is you're a seer. I see you have a need for variety and passion and spontaneity in our lives and our relationship. I see there's a fire in you that you don't want it to go out. I see that you're still showing up to our relationship. I see how honest you're being with me right now. Just the act of seeing into his experience already is going to establish so much love, so much trust in your dynamic. That already creates fertile ground for passion to happen spontaneously in the next moment. But it's that exchange of seeing one another honestly. And so when you give him the permission to feel and need, and you see his needs at the universal level, and you don't get caught up in his strategies to get his needs met, that creates then the basis for something incredible to inspire both of you into a deeper kind of passion. Where now both of you have permission to desire, to need, to feel, and you're going to explore it in a safe, beautiful way together.
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