A man who takes a commanding, present role during sex can help a woman release anxiety by creating safety and holding space. Eye contact, clear direction, and synchronized breathing calm her nervous system enough to let go of chronic stress.
What does she feel when I command her? When it's a man she trusts to trump her alpha, when it's a man who's showing up consciously, it feels like she could finally fucking let go. And when she's led well, emotion will usually flow. One of the first things that will happen when a woman is sexually intimately led well is she'll actually become very emotional because she'll feel the release unwind in her nervous system and everything that she's been holding. So when we're having sex in this way, it's very common for a lot of emotions to flow. This isn't just sex where it's rubbing genitals together to release some tension. This is deep emotional process. So when you bring that commander and you say, look at me, I'm right here with you, look at me, and then you say, I've got you, get over here, and suddenly you breathe. She sits on you and you just breathe with her. You're not trying to get anything from her. You're not trying to task her with anything. She's like, finally, fuck yes, finally. Your leadership is cracking through her anxiety of holding together her life on hyperdrive and then offering the gift of her finally feeling held, being led. And that's the gift you are able to give her as a leader of love and relationship, a leader in sex, a leader in the bedroom. But the leader is alpha.
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