Your sensitivity is a gift, but share it with skill. Process your own emotions first so you reach equanimity, then tell your partner what you feel without asking them to fix it. When they react with hurt, that's not weakness—it's proof they care.
It's gonna sound hyper self-reliant, but it doesn't occur like that in sacred sexuality. I don't bring my feelings for him to process them. He can feel me trusting my feeling because I made a right turn many years ago where I decided that my sensitivity was going to be a gift and I wasn't going to hand people my sensitivity for them to work it through. And so I really do take ownership of my sensitivity and I bring it as a gift until I am completely equanimous, meaning completely allowing of my own feeling. It's a setup for anyone else for me to give my feelings to them while I am reactive. I know I'm reactive if I need you to respond a certain way, even if I needed him to receive my feeling, because sometimes when a man has a difficult time with your feelings, it's not because he doesn't care about your feelings. It's because he cares about your feelings so much he can't even be with the failure that he's hurt you. I mean, it's crushing for him. This guy loves me and he doesn't ever like to hurt me. And so it's hard for him to hear when he hurts me. You can see he gets the ouch. I appreciate that he gets the ouch because that's how much he cares about my heart. But because I'm so— I'm being held so well by my seer, if he has a wobble upon getting this news that he hurt me really bad, I have space for that wobble. And I actually can see that wobble for what it is, which is he's deeply impacted. And because I'm not handing him my feelings for processing, I'm sharing them. There's that element of letting him then be with the experience of how difficult this moment is for both of us.
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