Vulnerability during sex creates deeper connection than protection does. When you let your partner see insecurity, like feeling bad about your body, and hold their gaze anyway, they respond with real love. The fear of exposure is bigger than the fear of rejection, but acceptance from your partner makes the bond stick.
There's that element of letting your vulnerability be part of your penetrability in lovemaking. Your vulnerability, when you bring it as a gift, you're letting this man into something you wouldn't let any of the rest of the world into. You're inviting him into your most tender place. Let's say you were insecure about your belly. You would get naked and you would reveal your belly, and then you would look into his eyes as if you've never seen him before and see what's in his eyes around your belly. Can you imagine the courage that that takes to really show yourself to be seen? Because I can promise you what you see coming back at you if you can look truly and not just project your own rejection onto his face. You'll see a man seeing into you more than you can see yourself. And there's something so profound about letting him love you like that. And everybody knows that that's so profound and knows that if he really meets us there, we'll be hooked on him forever. And so I would argue that that's the thing you're resisting more than his rejection.
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