Motivation Fails But This Works (The Framework For Lasting Consistency)

We need to break down who we are as a person. You can only white-knuckle that for so long until you really feel burnout.

But it wasn't until I realized it's not going to be like that.

Horrible.

We thought we were at rock bottom.

Just giving up on your marriage.

Yeah. Yes. Not only are you not proud of yourself that you let yourself down, but there's someone there that also knows that you didn't reach that goal. Like, it was a really hard year for a lot of people, I have to be honest.

Cassandra, let's talk about this. Welcome back to the Wealthy Muscle Podcast. I'm your host, Justin Page. I'm here with my beautiful wife and co-host Cassandra, and we also have a guest, our dog Coco, who's currently snoring, so hopefully you don't hear her. Today we're going to be doing our second episode, foundation. We have so many goals that we want to do. We see so many of the outcomes of our actions that we want or we hope to achieve. But you have to reverse engineer that to our today, and that is our foundation, because you can't build something on a foundation that's not sturdy, that can't handle the kingdom that you're trying to build here.

That's for sure.

Which all comes back to the why. So we're going to have a very good conversation, I hope, about the foundation how we can structure ourselves. You guys are going to see real time how we're organizing our thoughts for our business, our future as a husband and wife combo, for then having kids and where else God leads our lives. Cassandra, let's talk about this.

Let's jump right in.

Foundation. What does foundation mean to you?

That's a loaded question, like all the questions you ask, but Foundation. There's so many aspects to it, right? So there's the inputs of a foundation, there's the mindset, there's the why. So you got to have all those things to make a sturdy foundation. What if those things are lacking? Your business or your goal or whatever you're trying to achieve might fail. So it's good to start from the beginning, get all your ducks in a row for each aspect of it, and and then move forward because you want to start off right. I know we've all been there where we just jumped the gun. We think it's all motivation, but we didn't have the foundation and it fails.

That's a bar. Motivation to the foundation.

Oh yeah, sorry. Okay, write it down.

So thinking about this, we have to really break down a foundation and what that means. And when I think of building a house, I think of structures. I think of four walls in a house, four pillars that hold up what it is you're going to build from the foundation. And we tie this into these four concepts, four pillars, with the first one being your identity. Who is it that we are trying to become? We consume so much content. We see so many lives being lived. But where is our voice with these lives that we're watching here? We see the outcomes that they live. They're driving Lamborghinis. They got this beautiful family, beautiful house. But behind the scenes, how are they themselves?

Yeah, and that's true because there's a lot of people you see online that It's, it's a facade. You see people living the life that you think that you want, but behind closed doors they're either going bankrupt or they're fighting every day. Their foundation is cracking and they're putting out a perfect picture online. So you don't always want to trust what you see, but in your own personal life you want to make sure it's right because at the end of the day that's your life you're living. Take off those rose-colored glasses and I don't know where I'm going with this, so cut that out.

Pause real quick. Remember the last episode when you're like, "We're here?" Yeah, I know. I'm generally talking to you and you're like, "So?" Okay, pillars.

Oh man, what's the first pillar?

Is identity. Yeah, we need to break down who we are as a person. We have to understand our why, our mission to exactly what it is that we're doing. And I think people lose— they lose themselves, they lose their identity. They don't know what it is that their true interests are. And maybe they may be interested in so many different things, but what's their passion? What's their calling? What are they naturally just gifted at or good at? That's not trying to be somebody else.

That's true, and it's not just what are your passions or what you're interested in, it's also what are your morals, what— who is it that you want to be, who's that person you imagine that is your ideal person that you want to strive to be, and how do you get there, what is the business, what it— how are you as a spouse, as a dad, whatever it may be, as a parent of a pet, What does that person look like and what actions are they doing? What job are they pursuing? And that's where you build off of your why.

And I'm thinking about, you know, your patterns, your behavior, your consumption. You become a product of your environment. I'll use me for an example, working in the emergency room. And I hate going back to the emergency room, but knowing how I am for 12 hours of the day there because of the environment I'm in, I become that. My identity becomes miserable people who do not like what they do. They lost their passion, but they're chasing paychecks and they're trading that time for their dollars. And that's becoming the identity, that's becoming my foundation, and I'm trying to escape that. Most people just keep piling on more work, meaning that they're adding more hours, working overtime, more stress, more unhappiness, but they're thinking that the money that's going to supplement the happiness is going to replace that. But yeah, you can only white-knuckle that for so long until you really feel burnout.

Well, that's why you're so withdrawn. And for those watching this for the first time, you didn't watch the first podcast, my husband, he works ERs on the weekends. He does that part-time to have that extra benefits, 401k, things like that added to our business. Um, but you are in a corner. You don't talk a lot to your coworkers. Some of them, yes, but a lot of times you don't stir the pot with the drama. You don't engage in a lot of the nonsense they talk about because you're trying to protect your peace.

Yeah.

And who you are. And that's the big thing. You got to protect your peace. You got to be selfish with that because you really are a product of your environment. So I think that's something I've seen you over the years become very withdrawn with your coworkers. And the minute they are expressing characteristics that don't align with you, you cut them off.

Yeah.

Which is very fair.

Which you have to do. You have to trim the fat. You— I don't want you saying that you fall back to where you become a creature of habit, but in order for yourself to evolve, you have to cut yourself those ties. Those friends that you hang out with that go out drinking and it's just party animals, and you know that deep down inside you want more. But then you still keep latching on to those familiar faces and that comfort that you're used to, you're never going to evolve. You're never going to make it to that next level, which is why I felt like I'm trying to retrain my algorithm as a foundation where I'm not getting so much of car content necessary. And I love my car. Yeah, but me watching car content makes me want to buy more car stuff, which is not helping me build my business. It's just making me spend more money. Right. And that's not what we want. So I need to be able to articulate myself better, have meaningful conversations, find myself, my inner voice, and understand how to give that out. Because I sit and I watch so many videos, podcasts like this, and I'm listening to them talk, and I'm like in my car, in my mind, agreeing with them or having a conversation as if I'm there, but I'm not there. And that's not helping me become a better me.

Yeah, but that's also you yearning to surround yourself with people like that. and if that's the only place you're getting it, that's why you're so consumed in it. So we need to find more people like that out in the real world to start having those hangouts. So the less we stray, or the more we stray away from our coworkers or whoever it is that we want to move away from because we don't align, you need to add in a few people that you do align with.

Before you married me, how you were and how you identified yourself to who you are today and maybe the woman you're becoming, maybe the woman you're hopefully didn't want to become that you're becoming.

Yeah.

I don't know, how do you value that as far as who you are today?

Gosh, when we weren't married, we were in those beginning stages. I was still in my master's program. I was in that limbo of just putting in the actions, but I wasn't in that stage of life yet where I felt like I had to do a lot of internal work. Yes, I went through struggles, but it was the type where, okay, if I study my butt off and I strive for the things that everyone around me told me I should strive for, life will be okay. But it wasn't until I realized it's not gonna be like that, that's when I started thinking like, okay, who do I wanna be? What is the career I actually wanna pursue instead of continuing to pursue the things that other people have pushed on me? And what does that look like? Especially leaving a W-2 job that's when I was like, okay, there is a lot more than just doing the work, the physical work. There's a lot more internal work that needs to be done to be a successful business person. Because don't get me wrong, there's a lot of ways to make money just by doing physical work.

Yeah.

But if you want something to be a legacy or to build a brand, you have to be a brand that people want to follow. So not only that, and just just to be a better person. Like, quite clear, I'm sure we all want to be a better person. Like, every day we all strive to— well, at least I'd hope so. We all strive to be the best version of yourselves. And if that's the case, then you gotta every day do internal work.

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So good.

Yeah. What about on your end?

That was such a piggyback question. What about on your end?

What are your thoughts?

That makes me think of when you got those— the homework that's due by midnight. And you got to respond to 2 posts, I agree with so-and-so. It's like just piggybacking off of that.

Yes. Oh, I hated those.

No, but when I'm watching these videos that I'm watching, I feel like I'm trying to distance myself to who I was almost. I've always been known as the funny guy, the guy who's always not saying throwing out bad words all the time, but throw out bad words. You know, I curse a lot. I'm like, I'm gonna lie. Yeah, I'm human. I curse a lot. And I try to think of how I want to be known in the future, and I want to think about, you know, my identity that my kids will look at and say, that's my dad. Which is why creating content like this is timeless, because who knows how long the internet's going to be. It may be forever. It lasts forever. Your mistakes last forever on the internet. So that's why we got to do the right things.

And we're growing in real time. So we'll look back at this in a year, hopefully in a couple of years, we're still doing this.

Yeah.

And we're going to be like, wow, we totally changed, like, for the good.

Yeah.

Hopefully.

Hopefully.

Well, we will.

We have good intentions. So with that said, I want to almost rebrand myself because I think I was losing my identity with everything I like to do. If it's fitness, if it's health, if it's working as much as I can to make as much money as I can, whether it's being the best husband I can possibly be— now that I am a husband— the best pet dad I can be, you know, I want to give my all to everything. But you chase all rabbits and you try to catch them all, you catch none. And I started losing myself because I was kind of all over the place where I didn't know how to really grip who I was, if I'm saying this right.

Well, you weren't the person that you would want to be long-term.

Yeah, I knew that the burnout, I think, was what was fading away, was making it hard. I think I was putting too much pressure on myself that it was becoming forceful. And not saying I don't like it, I love it, I love what I do. But as far as a life outside of my job that paid my bills, I think that's where, how can I apply my daily interests into something that could be truly beneficial? You know, because there's a lot of people who do random things. You're like, oh, that's what you do? Like, yeah, I don't really like it, but it makes good money.

Yeah.

Like, how long can you keep doing that until you just try to hope for retirement to say I made it, to then try to retire and live your life? Now, what did you really build outside of someone else's dream?

It's funny because I was just talking to my sister about this exact subject today because, um, we have some family members that, you know, of course they have a different goal for us or different impression on how we should live our lives. And I told my sister that I basically, when that happens to me, I'm unfazed because at the end of the day, who is the one going to live that life? It's you. And so the only controllable thing is to control your own emotions, your own reaction. You can't control other people. You can love them from afar, still love them, but they're right in their own feelings. Like, if they want to feel that way great, they can feel that way, but it doesn't have to affect yourself.

Yeah.

You're the only one living the life, so as long as you're happy with your decision and you don't think, oh dang, I should have done what they told me to, so great. That's the best outcome possible.

That's a win.

So keep on going. You should be happy about that. You can't affect other people's actions or feelings, so take it with a grain of salt and move on. You still love them.

And I think that ties into like the second core, the second pillar, You know, the first one being— oh crap, I forgot the first one— your identity. Your second one is going to be your purpose, your why, because that right there, the purpose and the why, is what fuels that motivation. Because motivation is like gas. You drive, car is motivated to keep driving, but then eventually the gas runs out and the car stops.

You got momentum. Yeah, like when you start pressing on the gas But then you need to press on that gas again to keep it going. Eventually it slows down.

Yeah.

And you need that input to fuel it.

Yeah. And then I think that, and this being a New Year's resolution of us doing our podcast here, it's great that we're starting because this is something that's completely different than what we're normally doing.

Yeah.

Us having this kind of conversation for this long is even new for us because we're usually so in passing, hi, bye, love you.

Go, go, go.

Gotta go that we're sitting down and actually having intentional conversations.

Forced. Deep conversation.

Worst deep conversation.

Okay, that didn't sound right, but we, we do love having these in-depth conversations, but we don't make the time for it. Yeah, it's not a priority when we have a million things on our list to do, but we need to make it a priority.

And that's how we get to know each other better. So this podcast is actually going to help us—

help me get to know my husband.

Yeah, because I— and we know each other, we, we We know each other's habits. We know all that stuff, but we don't really know each other, like, down to the T. Yeah. Like, where I know so much about your core, your spirit, your soul that I'm like, this is truly my soulmate. And not saying that we're not soulmates, but I mean, like, like really deep knowing each other here.

Yeah.

Because we don't have these kind of conversations. We listen to people have the conversations, but we don't have the conversation ourselves. And we just say, oh, that's a good point. Oh, I never thought of that. Huh, we never stop and ask ourselves, like, really dig into the 7 layers of your why. Because why did you want to become a doctor?

Because it was pushed on me. It was someone else's dream that was pushed on me, and it took me a very long time to realize that.

And you had to really dig into your why to understand that you did not want to.

And you watched that in real time of me realizing that. And it was— I'm the type that keeps things internally, so I watch a lot of things for, like, you know, growing myself, internal work, but verbalizing it, it's really hard. So even having communication with you about it was really hard. It took me a while to, one, talk about it, and two, make the action to be like, whoa, whoa, I need to pause this road in my life and I need to go another road. I need to figure out what that road is.

And I didn't even know that either. I just—

I didn't either.

Being in school and you were studying, you were very studious.

I'm extremely studious. I put my mind to something, it will be there. But there was a point in that, that it just became, there was so much friction internally where I was like, it doesn't feel like right. Like I was physically doing things, like I could be studious, but I was physically doing things that were not gonna get me to my goal because my body physically didn't wanna do it. Like beyond being disciplined, studying, going to internships or whatever it is, shadowing, there was a lot of friction internally that said this is not right.

And I think it was just chronic cortisol going on within me yelling, "Stop." [Speaker] And I think that's huge, though, that you saying that because it's when you're forcing a new habit on yourself and you just are not wanting it truly deep down inside. It's like a person who smokes cigarettes every day and all of a sudden they gotta cold quit, cut it. Like it's just, it's something that's in their core, their being that's like, I don't wanna quit this because they don't have enough pain. They don't have enough purpose into why. Maybe now something tragic happened where they had a heart attack and now they say, oh crap, my family's suffering because of this action here. So they have to make that decision there. It's almost like you have to find the root thing. What were you going to say?

Well, I think after my master's, it became very real. Like, okay, now it's time to get into the real part of this career. And that's when I was like, oh shit, excuse my language. I never cuss.

I know.

Yeah, that's how much PTSD I have from this point in my life. I had to cuss because—

You woke up Coco.

It's bringing it up. But I'm glad I'm past that. I was— yeah, um, where am I going with this?

I don't know.

I'm drawing blanks now. The PTSD kicked in.

Yeah, you didn't want this anymore.

No, no, I definitely did not.

Yeah, that's okay.

What were you saying?

I wasn't saying much. Lost my train of thought. I wasn't saying much, but I will say that—

oh, what I was gonna say is that when someone else pushing their dream on me and trying to pursue that, I didn't have a strong foundation of why. My why is I want to make my family happy.

Yeah.

And all these things I saw growing up kind of wired my brain to think that's what I want to do. But I didn't have a strong why, a purpose for that. So that's where the real problem started to occur and they will manifest and they did.

Yeah. So that makes me think of when we're watching content, we're not— people pushing their lives on us and not in a way that they're actually pushing it, but we're seeing the good parts of their life that it makes us rethink our own life where we want to kind of do what they're doing, but not be passionate about what they're doing. We just see results. And then that's where it becomes, do you chase results or do you chase the passion? But either way, some results are gonna make it, but what are you gonna hold yourself to? So I guess in real time here, I mean, not to put you on the spot, sorry. But like, what is your why? Like when you get up, like what is the reason you get up for?

Well, now I want to be someone that I'm like, if I had a kid, which my future kid, I want someone that they would be proud of. But right now I want to just base be someone that I'm proud of. I want to wake up and be proud of myself. I want to look in the mirror and be like, dang, I'm respect to you. When I'm looking in the mirror to me of what you're doing every single day, and that even if it's a hard day, I am happy that I'm doing it and that I'm proud of myself when I work through that hard day. I'm like looking back, okay, because it was a hard day and something that I want to do, I have a purpose. It makes it a whole lot easier than being in a job or career or whatever it is that I don't have a strong why and I had a hard day and I'm just like, dang, I'm going to have how many more hard days the rest of my life in this? Decision that I chose for my life. And so I want to have hard days in something that I'm proud and happy to be in. Yeah.

And I think that speaking to, you know, we're speaking to the mass right now. And no matter whoever is listening to this, if you're listening to audio, you're watching on video, if you're a W-2, if you're working for your boss you just can't stand, if you're flipping burgers at Burger King, people still work at Burger King? I guess so.

Yeah, Burger King's open. You just don't go.

Okay.

Yeah.

No matter where you are, if you're your own business person, if you're starting a business, if you're starting a part, wherever you're at with your walk of life, you just always have to sit down and be realistic with yourself. And am I— what I'm waking up to do every single day, is this something that I'm going to be proud of for the rest of my life?

Yeah.

Or are you simply sacrificing? And this is not a knock on anybody because I think this is good too. Or am I in a position where I am kind of stuck that I'm sacrificing myself to make sure that my next— my kin, my child, my whomever can benefit and give the life that I can't technically have right this second.

Yeah. And too, if flipping burgers at Burger King you're proud of and that's giving you the flexibility and time to be with your family, your main priority in life is just to go in, clock in, do the bare minimum, but your main energy is going towards your family or whoever that is, or a hobby or gaming, who knows. If you're proud of that, then do it.

Yeah.

So whatever it is, just like you said, do something you're proud of.

Yeah, and to be able to have pride in something, something that you really can stand firm with and really say, I will, I do, I must, I am, I will, like all those words, they have to really resonate with you. Not I'll try, I can, maybe, one day, tomorrow. Like this is something that really shifts your mindset. With that purpose. Well, when you—

what is your why?

That was such a random question though.

I mean, I asked that question. I was like, wait, wait, I didn't even ask you back. What is your why?

You don't necessarily ask me the same question I ask you, you know. It's— I just asked you a question.

All right, cut this.

No, we're not cutting this. So I mean, my why is all over the place. I think my why for me is I hold myself to this expectation or this status that I really want to become, and I don't know what it is that it is status-wise. It's not being famous or anything like that, but I want to be in such a well-respected, well-regarded way and feel intellectual and savvy with my conversations with people and myself. And I want to be looked at as a leader who, no matter what, people can always depend on me in that sense where, man, Oh, I got Justin. Oh, I know Justin. Oh, he's a good guy. Oh my gosh, he will handle any situation. Like, that guy's the GOAT, whatever it may be. And moving that into being a husband, my why is you. My why is this dog that's sleeping here. My why is my future kid. You know, I'm trying to do stuff today by putting myself in that pain in the future to realize I don't want the life that I'm currently living or not currently living, but that I'm currently situated in as far as my job goes, one of the jobs, that I don't want to be able to have that realization then and say, I need to make the change today.

Yeah.

You know, I want to sacrifice what I can today so I can have that better, a better future. That's why I'm always on the go. That's why I want my body to be better. I want my mind to be sharper. That's why I consume so many, so much content and videos and just learning and mindset and wanting to read books. That's why I go to church. I just want to better myself because I felt like I have been so blinded for such a long time. And I missed out on so much growth development because of go to college, get good grades, go work for someone else's dream, climb the corporate ladder. All the stuff that we're all talking, it's felt like now I feel so distant from that that I feel like, oh my God, I had a wake-up call. Wait a minute, there's a whole life out here? What's going on? Am I just— I felt like I don't know if you've seen Fresh Prince.

Yeah.

Who stars in it?

Will Smith.

All right, making sure.

Okay.

On the last episode of Fresh Prince, he walked into the house and he looked around because everything was moved out. Everyone was gone. That's how I felt. That's how I felt. I walked in. I was like, it was like a new space.

Lights are on, but nobody's home.

Like, bruh, where did everything go? I can't believe this. And I feel like I've just left so much opportunity in my past but I didn't know what I didn't know. And yeah, me learning this now is when I wanted to become my own business person, you know, when I wanted to become an entrepreneur. And you don't have that mindset when you're working for somebody else because you're just on their time, on their dime, all day, every day. And you don't think about that kind of stuff. You just think about clock in, clock out, don't kill nobody, whatever your job is to do, go home, feed the kids, kiss your wife, wake up, repeat, someone else's dream. And then kind of put yours on the back burner. So my why, I'm still trying to develop it.

I think that's beautiful. And I know that because I know you and that from your core, you've always been someone that wants to lead, even back to when you were a part of Big Brothers. That's what it's called, right? Big Brothers, Big Sisters?

Sure.

Big Brothers Club? Something like that. Anyways, he was like a big brother to a bunch of young kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That needed a big brother.

I needed a big brother.

Anyways.

I love you.

We didn't have that in Guam. But anyways, yeah, so you've always wanted to be someone that you can help a younger generation or someone that wants to get to the next level so you can help them with that stepping stone. I think you did what you could with the resources you had in every stage of life. Yeah. Whether it's fitness, I don't know, music.

Yeah.

Now business.

Yeah.

But you've always strived to want to help uplift others. Like you said, you want to be that dependable person, that leader, but it's always led back to you wanting to help others get to a better place in their life.

Yeah. Aspire to inspire is like always, I don't know why it's always stuck with me, but that's, and I don't even say it that often, but I can always go back to it. What I do is I want someone else to say, all right, Justin's doing it, I gotta do it too, you know? Almost like, all right, he got up, he went to the gym, he's making money, he's doing his business, he started a podcast, he's married, you know? That is like, that keeps that, that bar. Like, I want to continue to be a standard to somebody, including myself. And the issue that I was having was when to start becoming that standard or start putting myself out there as a standard. Because no matter where I'm at in life, there's somebody who's just starting at wherever I'm starting at, and I could be helping that few percentage instead of waiting until I scale up so high that I'm only helping a small percentage because so many people may be further down. They're like, well, that's impossible to get to. I'm not no Alex Hormozi. I can't get there. You know, whomever that's extremely, you know, wealthy, famous, and knows their stuff. Let's just start together. So yeah.

And he started at that same point where we are.

Yeah. I know if you look at everyone's success story, it's literally like they were all where we're at today.

Yeah.

And it's like putting those repetitions every single day, like anything you do in life, is so huge.

Yeah. Taking the risk.

Which ties me into the third pillar, actually. Good segue there.

What's the second one? So identity?

Identity.

Why?

Purpose and why. It's kind of synonymous there for the second one. Third one's going to be systems and discipline.

Okay. Yep.

So, and you got to have systems in place in order to build a foundation. You got to be disciplined. Every day you wake up, you brush your teeth, hopefully. You poop, probably, because you get morning poops. You know, you eat. You're disciplined to do certain things that you just routinely do without even thinking about it. It's synonymous. It's automatic. It's like breathing. That's how life should be for your systems almost, that you don't even think about it. You just do it. And you should kind of maybe not look forward to always wanting to do it, but you should still get it done because it's going to lead somewhere where you don't really know that that's all it takes, almost. Yep, those small reps. Like the podcast, I said I want to do one, two, every one, every two, two weeks, whatever, like that. Um, when you're watching this, the first one just came out, so go watch that one. Shout out, plug myself in there. Um, but you got to put those reps in. Just like building muscle, you got to put the reps in. The muscle is not going to get big overnight. It takes the discipline of the diet, months go by, years go by unless you want to hop on gear, sure, maybe a couple of days go by depending, you know, but it takes time to be able to get there. And that's why you have to be able to sit down and really understand why am I doing this? Because without that purpose, the systems aren't going to work.

Yep. So you got to have your why. You got to know what your identity is with your why. And you got to have a system in place to get there. So If you've ever been in a sales job or anything that assesses your metrics, you know, your KPIs, your key performance indicators. And it's—

I didn't know you knew that word.

Oh yeah, big in medical sales. So you have to have those metrics to follow, whether someone else is holding you accountable or you're gonna hold yourself accountable. Um, and that assesses your systems. So you got to lay that out and then assess it. And you can't just YOLO it. Sometimes it works, some ones, the 1%, it'll work. You got that one off. But for it to be sustainable, for you to have the highest possibility of making it work, you got to have the systems in place.

Yeah.

And that is huge. That's where your motivation, when it's gone, your systems are there to keep you there.

Yeah.

Keep you in line.

And automations right there. And speaking of systems, because now that you've been getting disciplined and watching you, you know, daily, um, it's been pretty refreshing. Yeah, not to call you out again. I'm pretty good at calling you out.

Yeah.

So I'm undisciplined when it becomes stressful, and I say that when I get stressed on everything else outside of my body, I take it out of my body. Which is not good. And not saying I'm like hacking and slashing myself, meaning I'll eat stuff, I'll stress eat. I'll still go to the gym, I'm still working out, but the stress eating is one thing where I know that when I don't have a system in place, I revert back to that. So one of my promises into my why, into my identity, is that I want to be disciplined enough that I'm not going to allow outside factors of stress dictate how I'm going to treat my body, my temple. Because I will sit there and I will eat. I will go ham. I will eat everything in sight. It doesn't matter. I'll open that fridge 20 times knowing it's the same stuff in the fridge. And something's gonna get touched though. I'm gonna find something. I don't care if I just have to sit there and eat pickles. I don't know. Squirt mayonnaise. I don't know what it is.

It's a weird habit. You scavenge.

I scavenge. But watching you write your macros down and weighing out your food and it's It's so enlightening and it's so— I love it because that's what I like to do myself. So I see that it's lighting you up because you're seeing a long-term goal and you realize, I really want to be better. And that discipline, when you discipline your body, yourself, everything else just feels so much— it feels easier. I don't know what it is. It's so weird. But when you put your body last, you can make all this money, you can do all these things, but then when that— your body just sucks and not saying that, you know, big people suck, because you don't. Just a lot of health problems that come along the way. We work in healthcare, I can attest to this. All that hard work goes for nothing because now where are you at 20 years from now? Diabetes, you've had multiple heart attacks, you have all these ailments that could have been prohibited— prohibited— that could have been prevented had you started back then. But now that you have the strong foundation that's going to assist that.

That's the biggest thing too, is that I knew if it was hard for me today, it's not, it's not going to get any easier. So me not being consistent at the gym, not working, moving my body several times a week, starting tomorrow, next week, next year, after I give birth, how much harder is it going to be for me?

Yeah.

So I don't know, I honestly don't really know what was like my true wake-up call. Maybe I just got that much uncomfortable with myself. And I knew like, I started being very healthy with my habits in December, some point towards the end of December. I was like, I'm not gonna wait for January 1st and I'm not gonna start another new year with the same goal and just let it fall off.

Why'd you decide not to wait to January 1st?

I think I've just watched, consumed a lot of things that said, You don't have to wait for January 1st to start your goal. There is no better time than now to start.

Yeah.

And so you starting sooner, is that many more days that you've just wasted if you didn't start already?

It's funny you say that because I'm thinking about as soon as the emotion is there, that's when you start it. That's like in sales. As soon as you get a lead in, don't sit on it like I do. When that lead comes in, You go right after the lead because that's— they're emotionally inclined at that moment that they put their information in or they requested something from you to contact them. Don't wait till Monday. Don't wait till January 1st because then it dies off. That motivation, that interest, all that just fades off. And then you're back to reasonable me, you know? You know, do I really need that? Do I really need to start, you know?

And that's true. And I feel like a lot of women can relate to me too, that it's it's hard to be consistent with diet or tracking your macros at the gym because, you know, we— a lot of us live a little bit of a softer life than most males. Macho males.

There's some hardcore girls out there.

Yeah, but like a lot of girls, they're in their soft girl era. Not soft, but we don't want to be in our soft body era, ladies. Okay, so let's not confuse that because I was in my soft body, soft girl era. I don't want to do that anymore. So, um, for those ladies watching, start now if you haven't already. And when I did have that little bit of emotion, I striked. So I didn't wait for January 1st. And what really helped is once I started putting in the inputs, the systems, and started seeing results, like, of course you're not gonna melt the fat in a week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks yet. But every time I did another Pilates session or a workout session, I felt like the movements were easier, that I was becoming a little bit more flexible. That I was really proud every time I reached a milestone, hit a 3-mile walk, whatever it is. I felt really proud of myself and that aligned with my goal, my why, that I wanted to be someone I'm proud of. And truly with my health, 'cause it's not just about the abs. Yes, the abs are great to form, but like I said, it's not gonna get any easier. And if I wanna be someone healthy that I don't wanna have to get knee surgery or heart surgery or be on a diabetes medication down the life for myself and my family, I have to start now. So I was like, okay, I got to start today and I'm going to be someone I'm proud of. So when I reach those milestones, I am damn proud of myself. And it's okay to give yourself a pat on the back because that's going to help pushing you to the next thing. So don't be afraid to congratulate yourself. Don't congratulate yourself with a big unhealthy meal, but congratulate yourself. So that's been a good journey right now for me. And, you know, a lot of people are jumping the gun and being really aggressive what they're doing, but I'm trying to have a conservative goal that's going to be sustainable for me. So eating meals that I really enjoy.

Yeah.

That is going to be healthy and is still helping me reach my goal of weight loss and just fitness and muscle growth. Um, and it being more of a lifestyle than just a fad diet.

Yeah, those fade off.

Yeah, yeah.

And having that partner with you, if you ladies are fortunate enough to have somebody with you, or a group, or a coach, husband, wife, whomever that will support you and be a part of the journey with you. Because it's hard when you're doing it by yourself and when you're trying to figure out how to make this huge change in your life, especially with diet discipline in that regard. It's so hard to do it alone. And it sounds good at first. You start strong. I want this, I want this, I want this. But then You just go back because that support's not there. But when you have somebody who holds you accountable and saying, hey, did you take that walk today? Hey, you said you're going to go to Pilates. Did you go? Or come with me, we're going to go to Pilates together. That sisterhood is so powerful. The community aspect of growth is huge, which is why I'm a firm believer in any form of inner circle.

Yeah. And it's okay to be a little truthful with each other. I know Justin, he's not mean, but he's honest. And you are very honest with me.

So I'll tell you what you need to hear.

And when I was sharing my weight finally and saying like, this is how much I want to lose, I'd been very transparent with that. And so speaking it out loud, giving hard facts, numbers, KPIs, it gives me a goal that I shared so that I'm held accountable to it.

Yeah.

Because when you speak that into existence, you speak it to someone else, that someone, if you don't hold yourself accountable, not only are you not proud of yourself that you let yourself down, but there's someone there that also knows that you didn't reach that goal.

Absolutely.

And it makes you— a little shame is okay. A little bit of embarrassment is okay because it drives you not to want to get to that point where you're embarrassed.

I always think about embarrassed because we're so afraid to make a change because we're afraid of how people will take it. Like doing a podcast, you're not sure how many people are going to listen to this or who's going to talk crap in the comments or say, oh, you know, why you look like that, blah, blah, blah. But if we put all that aside and really focus on ourselves and what it is that our intentions are, it's so much more valuable than any other thing that could possibly hinder you. Yeah, I think about when you're afraid to— if you're in class and you raise your hand and you have the wrong answer, you're always going to remember you saying that wrong answer. Versus you giving something right or listening someone else do it for you because it's so much more meaningful. So with that said, going back to the weight, you just say, I want to lose weight. All right, cool. How much weight do you want to lose? Well, I want to lose this. Well, why do you want to lose that much weight? Well, because— and that's where we start digging into the why. Now we have to actually apply real numbers to the actual scale. So you want to lose 20 pounds. So that means you're going to weigh this much. When are we going to do this by? Now set a date. Because if you don't set a date or deadline, you're never going to get it done. You're going to put it off because most people are last-minute type of individuals where they're like, oh crap, it's due tomorrow. Let me do this now because I got to do it. Put systems and that discipline into place so that way you can implement and execute appropriately. Yeah, data equals dollars, and I can apply that to anything. Data equals success. Data equals results. Data is everything. It gives you the feedback that you need no matter what. And I'm not a math guy, I hate numbers, but when you realize, you see how numbers work, it makes so much sense. And then it takes away the guessing because it's literally there, like, okay, 2 2 is really 4. All right, this is why I have to do this.

And that's true because when you put that system in place, no matter what it is, if you're not— if you've done all those things where you have your why, you have your system, you have your time you want to get to get to that point and you didn't reach it, you can assess and change the inputs to meet that goal, start a new goal. But if you never did any of those things, you don't know what inputs you had, then you don't know what you need to change. You're just playing that guessing game and throwing clay at the wall, or whatever your saying is here in America.

Did they say clay at the wall in Guam?

Throw clay at the wall? Is that the word?

Throw mud at the wall? Throw mud at the wall and see what sticks.

Are you sure that's Yeah.

Okay.

Throw mud at the wall and see what sticks. Anyways.

I love your foreign tactics.

Okay.

So, um, going to the last pillar here. And this is, this may not apply for everybody, but at least for me, I felt the need of this pillar to be a part of this. And that's a spiritual foundation. Because I feel like you can't do all this alone. You have these great ideas, you think all these thoughts, you have all this intention, but what's giving you these reasons? What's whispering in your ear, "You should do this," or "I think that's a good idea"? You know, that's, that's spiritualness. That's God speaking to you. That's— he's giving you your, your reason. He's letting you know, hey, this is okay, let's do this. But then when you hear all the outside noise, everyone else saying you can't do that or you're not going to succeed, you're letting that dictate your belief, which means that you don't trust God. And I feel like if you don't have the trust in the God— trust in God, you're not going to be able to execute how you should because you need that foundation to say, Lord, I need you. I can't do this alone. Because it's a heavy burden to carry everything by yourself, especially as a husband, as a— I'm not trying to say man, whatever, versus woman, but head of the household. Yeah, as the head of the house, it's a lot of weight to be able to carry that, to wake up and know that I am a leader, and knowing that I have amount of stress is impossible. I know that I can share that stress and that burden, that weight with God, and I can't do that alone. So I think that that is such a huge— one of the strongest pillars in the foundation, because all of it comes back to that spiritual belief.

Yeah, 100%. For us, it's God. I know some people just believe in a higher being out there, but knowing that there's something beyond you is super important because, I mean, This has been a historically hard year economically for most people, and just getting through this year, I know it's been really, really difficult for a lot of people.

Mm-hmm.

And just waking up and going about your day, showing up for yourself, for your kids, for your family, that is huge. And I don't think a lot of people could have done it without at least us leaning on God through this. Like, it was a really hard year for a lot of people, I have to be honest.

It is. It was.

There were times where you just feel like giving up. Not saying we were suicidal, but I mean, some people were out there.

Just throwing in the towel.

Just throwing in the towel, giving up on going to work, giving up on showing up because—

Giving up on your marriage.

Yeah. Yes. Nana. Okay, just to be clear. But yeah, so when you have nothing left to give, I feel like leaning on God has been extremely important to give you that extra push to keep going because, you know, there's a bigger purpose out there than what you are living for today. You're not living for yourself. You're living for a greater purpose.

Yeah, absolutely.

And when you're just living for yourself and everything is going wrong, it's easy to throw in the towel.

It is because you don't have anything that you can believe to. There's no, nothing, no one, no person you can just go to and just give your all to that person unless you're a slave or something like that. But you, when you go to, at least for us, and not say, you know, God, church, all that religion politics type of thing, but when we go to church every Sunday, I always feel so renewed when I leave because I have so much weight from everything that happens every day, whether it's business, if a deal didn't do, a chargeback, or if a client didn't show up to an appointment, or in the hospital, had to deal with these patients who are just so ugh, ugh.

Or all the above.

All the above, you know, right? And when you go to church, it's like you forget about all of that, and you're like, this is the reason why. Okay, I remember again. And it's like you constantly keep needing that reminder. And that's where I feel like that's like the feedback loop that just keeps going to checkpoint to go back there and just say, okay, that's right. The gas tank, you know, like when you're doing laps in NASCAR and you got to fill up, get a little quick tune-up. That's— I feel like that's for my soul. And I feel like that is— and I keep saying I feel— that is what continues to keep the stead, the momentum going.

That's super important. That goes back to who you surround yourself with. So not only be with someone that's going to help you do internal work for bettering yourself and business, but surrounding yourself with someone that aligns with you spiritually, whether that's God or whatever you believe in out there, is huge. Because just leaning on each other with a higher purpose, whether I'm hearing even just going to church and hearing testimonials that they play of other people going through hard times, like seeing those testimonies and be like, damn, they had a harder year than us. Yeah, they're on the brink of death, or they just like went bankrupt, whatever. They had a harder year than us.

Yeah, we felt like we had it horrible too.

We thought we were at rock bottom, just how we felt. And so hearing that and knowing that, dang, they made it through and they are here showing up and smiling together as a family, like truly went through that and they're coming out stronger than ever. It is so beautiful to be around.

It's invigorating.

It's invigorating. And it gives you a purpose to further to be like, they can get through that with him. So we can too.

Absolutely. So I like to tie that in there as well to the foundations. So if you guys listening, you guys can always watch this back again. We'll give you the 4 tidbits here.

Yeah.

To how to make yourself successful this year. What do we have for our pillars, hun?

We got our why, identity.

Uh-huh.

And I am not good at recall. So we have our identity, we have our purpose and our why. Our systems.

I always remember systems and discipline. You do remember that. And lastly, your faith.

Yep, your faith.

Closing thoughts?

That was good. That was a good, um, conversation to go into depth and also give us a mindset to start this year off and make sure our foundations are truly strong and aligned with what our goals are for the year.

Yeah.

So I think that would be a good conversation to have either on a podcast or on our own. And if you haven't had that one yet with yourself or with who you surround yourself, your partner, you should do that and make a list. Talk to ChatGPT if you don't got someone around. Me and him talk to our third person in our relationship all the time.

Yeah, our secretary is bomb.

Yes. Love her.

But yeah, so definitely write these things down and really understand your reason for this season. Reason for this season, another bar. I don't know why that just came out of nowhere. 2026 is going to be your year. You just have to understand why it's going to be your year. And only you can make it not your year. Apply this structure, this discipline, everything, this foundation, and just build sky, just build high. The moon is where you want to be. Go past the moon.

What's past the moon?

I said go past the moon. But then I did— when you said, I'm thinking, what's past the moon? Jupiter's gone.

2026 is going to be your year. We all know 2025 was no one's year. Yeah, it was a year of growth. So 2026, let's do it.

So I think we went over a little bit this time, but it was good. Had a good conversation with you as usual because you're my wife, because I love you.

I sure hope so.

I'm going to have this for the rest of my life here.

Okay.

You guys that tuned in, we really appreciate you if you stuck it through this far. Have any questions, any feedback, definitely comment down below. This is our episode number 2, many more to go. We're going to keep doing this until Jesus comes back. Why not?

That's a commitment.

That's a strong commitment there. It's late at night. We're going at 11:11. Just made our wish. Our wish is make another podcast. We'll catch you in the next one.

Peace.