When Scaling Stops Working: How to Know It’s Time to Pivot, Not Push

Hello, my love, and welcome to Seen, the podcast that helps you to stop hiding, claim your worth, and build the most vibrant version of your life possible. Thank you so much for being here. Hello, my love, and welcome to Seen. And in this episode, I just want to riff a little bit on how I make decisions in my business and how I kind of look for signs to know that I'm in alignment with what I'm doing, because it's always a bit of a work in progress and sometimes it's actually the things that are happening in my personal life that affect this as well. So I'm going to give you a couple of examples because I know for many of you, you're coming into this new year and you've done all this shedding in this year of the snake, and you're coming into the year of the horse, and it's like, let's just hit the ground running and have the most epic, momentous year. But to do that, it's so important to really take stock of like, what have you just come through this year, and how can we make sure that we're learning the lessons we need to learn in order to then be able to embody your next level and our next version, you know, in the new New Year, because if you don't, you're just going to continue to run into the same lessons again and again and again until you learn them. And so I've really started leaning more into my spiritual side, I would say, in the past year, and really looking at signs that happen for me and really looking into having signs to know that I am in alignment, that I can feel something in my gut or it feels right to me before moving forward. Because most of the mistakes that I've made in my business have come from when I was just being completely in my masculine logistical pragmatic, practical mind and trying to do things that make sense on paper, it's always gone tits up when that's happened. So this year it's really— and yeah, this past year has been really about leaning into what is happening and why is this happening for me and what is this teaching me. And so I'll give you a couple examples because it's always nicer to, you know, have some stories that you can kind of understand the lesson from. So Right now, I'll give you an example that's going on in my life right now. So right now, my kids are not sleeping at all. So my eldest is in and out of our bed every single night, and my youngest is waking up at like 3:00 AM, and he'll be up for the day, or else he is unsettled for an hour. I have to lie with him on my chest until he gets back to sleep for the rest of the morning. And there's just a lot of kind of unsettled behavior is happening with the kids. And so with that, I'm kind of looking at like, how is this— why is this happening? Like, what's the deeper thing here? And then also, how is this affecting my business? And how is our family life as a whole reflecting in, in my business? And so an example of that is like, right now I'm, I'm kind of have come to this realization that the program that I'm running, Booked Out Brand, as much as I've loved running that program and have met the most incredible humans this year, just, it's starting to feel slightly out of alignment in the sense that even the name Booked Out Brand, I'm like, I don't want to be booked out, my clients don't want to be booked out. And so I'm really wanting to move and shift the program in the new year to be more about the whole person. Yes, I'll still teach you the strategy and how to bring in high-ticket clients and how to build your brand, but actually it's the deeper inner work that actually is the thing that gets in the way of us doing that. And so my new offering next year, I just know that I want bring more of that into the forefront. And usually, I'm the type of person that as soon as I get an idea like that, it's like actioned. And even still, there's still parts of me that are like that. So when I had the idea, I bought a domain name, bought a website template, and I'm like, this is happening. I booked a videographer to get a new video to announce the launch. And then I had to just take a little bit of a step back and really look at the lessons that I've had this year and seen that, OK, whenever I kind of do that, And it hasn't always worked out the best for me when I don't just make sure that it's fully in alignment before I go ahead with it, you know? And so before I start thinking, okay, so I was getting really into my like head and into my logistical mind of like, okay, I'm gonna do a new, new offer next year. I'm gonna do this and this and incorporate that. Like, how can I make that work? What's the price? What's the positioning? How am I gonna reverse engineer that funnel? And then I had to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Before I even go there, can I just take a breather and a breath and actually consolidate the the lessons that are coming through, and really make sure that whatever this new direction is has time to land and is 100% what I want to embody in the new year. And that actually felt really scary for me because I'm the type of person that likes to always have a plan and have things moving forward. And so to actually have a month or two now where I'm literally— I'm not selling anything right now. The doors aren't open to Booked Out Brand. I essentially have nothing that I'm promoting, or I'm not in this sell. Masculine, like, let's sell and, and kind of like, uh, grow and build and scale. I'm actually like, let's wait and see what comes through. And that is so different for me. But bringing it back full circle to the kids, it's like I was looking at all these things I wanted to do with my business, and then at the same time in my life, I'm having all of these challenges with my kids and with my home life. And so I had to ask myself, like, wait a second, is now the best time for me to be thinking up of a new business idea and a new direction and a new position for my brand next year? No, I can barely even function. Like, I'm in a space the last couple of weeks where I cannot even barely keep my eyes open. Like, I'm actually just a little bit like crabby because I'm like so just sleep deprived. Like, if I create anything now, even though it's— I know the general vision and direction that I want to go in, but if I solidify all that now and I bring that all to the forefront right now, it's not from the best place, and it's not from a place of just inspiration and excitement. It's like, okay, I made a decision, I need to take action on it. And so that's actually been a huge lesson for me, even as we speak, to just really look at your current reality and just think, like, what is it trying to tell me? And With the kids, it's like, okay, what's that trying to tell me? It's like, it's telling me that I need to actually have some rest and have some sleep before I can really start dropping into what the next iteration is. But it's also telling me that like there's something happening within our home dynamic that needs to be figured out so that I can bring in more harmony into my life. And, you know, everything happens like life. There's such, such duality in life because sometimes, like, I'm wanting to rest on one hand, But then I kind of laugh at myself because like just 3 weeks ago I then bought a commercial property with my husband and some partners, and we're creating a whole space next year, which I'm so excited about. It's going to be a content podcast and a workshop and event space. And so that all just fell on my lap. That all happened so out of nowhere, and it's completely in alignment, and I'll go into more about that soon. But I had to ask myself, like, maybe I maybe I need to just like look at like the universe is showing me right now, where are the areas in my life that I need to get flowing a lot better to allow me to actually really step forward into this vision for my life next year where, you know, we're opening this incredible space and having events and having retreats and having meeting all these amazing people. Like in order to be that person and to be the version of myself that I want to be that can hold that vision, that can do that, I need to actually look at my current reality and my current life, including life with kids and my life at home, and make some pretty big shifts and changes. And so instead of getting too worked up about like, what's my offer and what's this for next year, I'm like, let's step back and look at the whole picture. Like, there's some big things coming through and I have to have trust that that's all coming through and that I'm planting the seeds now and I'm getting into alignment now to actually call that in. And it's not about just like, what's going to be a quick win for December, what's going to sell in January. It's like, no, let's just like trust that it's going to happen. And that sometimes feels very scary, but that's what I'm really stepping into right now. And the other thing that I'm doing is really just reading into those signs that come through and not apologizing for it, because I would say I'm quite a spiritual person. And because I know that not everybody is, and because maybe I'm from Ireland, which is like, as a country, just a bit more skeptical, and like, my husband is very pragmatic, very practical, very logical, I think I've always kind of like apologized for essentially being spiritual, or I would just kind of preface it with like, I know this sounds woo-woo, and you know, don't laugh at me, but— and now I'm like, you know what, fuck it. I'm just like, this is a sign that came through, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna roll with this, you know? Like, the studio that we got, it's— the number is 1111. It was 1111 as the building number. And I'm like, wow, that is in alignment. That is what we're meant to do. The road, it's on Bartlett Road, like Stephen Bartlett, Diary of a CEO. That's— we're making sign. And I'm just, you know, I'm not apologizing for that, or I'm not having to explain or even tell everyone about that. But just for me personally, I'm like, okay, this is on track. And just trusting that— who cares if it is or not, or if someone believes it or not, or whatever. Just really trusting things are coming through that need to come through. You know, another thing that I was listening— I was listening to a podcast recently, and Gabby Bernstein was on it, and she was talking about how— or sorry, not Gabby Bernstein, that was another one. Um, this one was with Charlotte Tilbury, and it was an incredible podcast with Emma Greed. and she was talking about, like, she's very spiritual. She was talking about the growth of her beauty brand, and she was talking about the power of authenticity and how being authentic, you're actually— it's, it's at a frequency 40 times stronger than love, which everyone knows, like, love is one of the strongest frequencies. And so even just hearing that in the podcast, I was like, I needed to hear that, you know, because it stuck with me in my mind. And it's like, okay, that was— I needed to hear that. What's the message in there? And even looking at, like, now, okay, something's coming through for me where I need to step into more authenticity with my brand. And then I look at my life and I'm like, where am I not being 100% authentic? And I've had to look at, you know, I feel more comfortable when I'm presenting myself on social media and whatever else, when I'm more polished, when I'm, you know, in an event space or I'm like at a cool, place, or things are aesthetic. But 80% of the time at home, like, I look far from that. Like, I look like a scruff. I'm around with the kids, you know, my hair is in a mom bun. And so the— if I am letting that to stop me from sharing my truth, then there is a block to my authenticity. So it's kind of just looking at the areas and like letting just lessons come through, and then look at like, okay, is there something I need to learn here? And the same thing has happened with my kids. So my kids are sleeping in a bed— in a bedroom together, and above their bed there's like a photo frame. And this week I went in, and on the photo frame was like this baby mud wasp nest. Wasn't dangerous— mud wasps aren't dangerous— and it was just a tiny one. There was no wasp in the room or anything. But I looked into what is the actual spiritual meaning of a wasp nest, and what came back was that it was all about boundaries, that there needs to be better energetic boundaries. And then I started looking around at, like, does this resonate? Because at the end of the day, neither of my kids are sleeping. Like, our, like, our house is chaos right now. And even just, there's some more challenging behavior with the kids there. And, you know, my husband and I have always been the type to be really, like, go with the flow, loosey-goosey. And that's worked for us to a point, but it's starting to get to the stage now where that's not working. And like, okay, are we contributing to our, our kids being like this now? Because maybe there's not enough structure. You know, my son, he's 19 months, and like, he'll go down for a nap anywhere between 10:30 and 12:00 on each day, you know. So it's not like set. Um, we don't— like, we didn't have fully set dinner times or meal times. And I'm not saying you have to be regimented, but everyone is different. But I'm finding for our current reality right now our loosey-goosey approach is no longer working for our family. And there's starting to be just like some big repercussions with that, you know, and the fact that we're all just so sleep deprived, you know, it's easier to get frustrated with my husband and I or the kids because, you know, obviously you need sleep, like you need it. And so I've just realized, okay, we need some more structure and some more boundaries, healthy boundaries for the kids. And so I've got a sleep consultant coming on Saturday to help us get the sleep under control. We're speaking to a parenting coach to get better strategies for having better structure and routines. Next year, we've made some big decisions around childcare. We're going to have the two kids in childcare in a daycare 3 days a week, and then I'm going to be with them Monday and Friday and making sure that they've got all the structure that they need. I joke that sometimes I just make things harder for myself because I'm the type of person where I like to home cook every single meal and snack as well. I'm like, just having that next year to have that designated time that I'm with them those days, and I can be cooking dinner, I can be making all their snacks, I can be doing all those things and just have quality time with the kids. And just knowing that Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday are the days that like I've got to work and that I know where the kids are, they've got that routine and that structure, that's feeling really good for me for next year. And so I just wanted to share these things with you because sometimes we think, oh, I need to scale. And like this year I did 100K, next year I wanna do 500K, how am I gonna do it? Da da da da, without looking at just the other areas of your life that aren't necessarily quantifiable and tied to typical business success. You don't think you'd usually look at your child's nap time and relate that to your business success. But we really need to take this holistic look at our lives and look at what is working right now and what is not working. And what are you trying to just force to happen that's just not fucking happening, and it's time to just let it fucking go. You know, like this year I tried to bring on two different sales closers and it didn't work out with either one for various reasons. And I continue to just try and force that to work. And obviously that's not what's meant for me. You know, like I'm, you know, obviously there's a new way that needs to come forward, a new way of doing business. I do think I'll be doing a lot more of in-person events next year, obviously with this space. I still want to bring women together. I still want to help them build their brand and really show up as their next level selves. But I'm open to how that's going to come through, you know, how that's actually going to be structured and have some fun with it. And so where in your life can you just look at right now and just ask yourself, like, is this happening for a reason? Is this happening for me? Like, if something is feeling like hard as fuck, then maybe it's time to let it go. And it's not to say that you don't want to like try something and that you're just going to quit and like give in too early. It's more about looking at how you might pivot or how you might be redirected. And so it's not that you're quitting or that you're giving up on your dreams, but it's just allowing— rather than you having to do everything by yourself and create everything by yourself, like maybe there's a greater power that's helping you to redirect, and that if you could just trust and surrender to that a little bit, you'd have a lot more ease in your life. And really just taking stock of every area, from your health to your wellness to your relationships, because relationships was a huge one for me this year. And I really realized there was a lot of things that were happening that made me feel like not fully safe within my relationships, which sounds funny because it's not— I'm not talking about like physically safe by any means here, but it was just like a couple of things I had to work through that weren't even necessarily the fault of my partner at all. It was like deep childhood wounds and triggers where he would do something minor that like to him is like, what is— how is this even a big deal? And to me, I was interpreting it as a lack of safety, a lack— not being able to rely on that person, and that triggering the safety of like, I can't rely on someone, I don't feel safe. And so that was some deep, deep work that I had to do this year. And so my point point with all this is that we really need to peel back the layers and look at the elements of our lives that we think may not be even connected to business, but they are. Because if you don't feel safe within your relationship, if you don't feel like you're— you've got a calm and loving home, if you are worried that your kids are not thriving, can you honestly tell me that you're going to be able to show up fully in your business, that you're going to be able to jump on a reel and talk about your offers? If you don't feel like you can come home and express yourself fully in front of your family and be completely comfortable at home and know that you're loved and know that you're worthy even within your own home and with the people that are around you, how the fuck can you expect to feel worthy and amazing in front of strangers? You know what I mean? And so we really need to look at how do we ensure that our inner world is thriving and that the things in our personal life are in alignment so that we can then get the external results that we want. And sometimes it's really painful because we have to let go of things that we thought we really wanted. And like, sometimes that's just the ego driving it. Like, I really thought I just wanted a fucking gun salesperson. I was like, let's just get an absolute killer salesperson in. Let's just roll right through and we'll get it to like $200K months. Like, just, you know, that was just the ego. And that's just like, been painful to have that not work out. And like, I was so pumped up to do that, but I'm being redirected. And so it's not always fun, it's often painful. But having that deeper trust that something better is coming through— because at the end of the day, you don't want to just get to the top of the mountain and like, if everything did work for you the way you think you wanted it, but then you get there and you fucking hate your life, what's the point, right? So like I had to just realize that, like, I'm trying so hard to scale this thing, but actually there's parts of it that aren't fully in alignment, you know? And so it's about coming back and unraveling and having a 2.0 version of yourself and of what you're doing and having trust and faith that it's gonna be even better. And really being able to hold onto that vision and work towards that and do that inner work that's gonna help you to get there. And just having that space and time to let things drop in out of inspiration, not out of fear, because you're like, shit, I need to pay the bills next year and I need to be able to make X amount of money and I need to do this, this, this. And we think there's safety and control by trying to manipulate it like that. But even if you do manipulate it like that, it's not— that doesn't mean it's going to work out. So like it doesn't actually fulfill the goal that you think you have anyway. So you might as well just trust and do something in alignment because that's much more likely to actually work out for you versus is trying to— you think that by controlling it, you're going to get the outcome. But you're not guaranteed that outcome, even if you try and control the whole thing, like I did with the sales guy. It's like, I wanted to control that whole thing. I was like, this is how we're going to scale the business. This is the way it's going to go. And that made me feel safe, because I was like, I had my plan. And it's just, we can have our plan, but God laughs at your plans. The better thing to do is just look at like what lights me up and what fulfills me and what do I want to do and what signs are coming through and what areas of my life need a little bit of examination. And so I just wanted to record this heartfelt episode, you know, around the New Year so that you can have a little bit of insight, you can have a bit of perspective. This feels a bit vulnerable to share because, you know, it's really, the things that I'm really working through myself right now. And I think a lot of people wait until they've got, you know, they've got the incredible outcome and it's past history that they went through something and then it feels safer to share it versus being able to just share what you're actually going through right now. But I know there's so much gold in being able to just be really real and honest and raw. So I hope you got something from this episode and I can't wait to see you next week.