Asking for Help | Ep #87

Hey, I'm Chris Plackey, host of the Lead you'd Team podcast. Running a million dollar business is not easy. And whether you're just getting started with building your team or you've been at this for a while, I'm going to bring you honest, specific, and clear practices you can use right now, today to improve how well you lead your team. Let's go ahead and get.

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How are you? Welcome. Welcome. This week, I want to talk with you about asking for help.

I have a lot to say about women and asking for help, and I think it's an essential skill for women who run their own business. Now, there are different kinds of help that you can ask for, right? So there's help that you can ask for where you just say, can you do this for me? And people know what to do. There's help you can ask for that is a very specific way that you want something done. And then there's help you can ask for that's more about support.

Emotional support. Emotional help. And I think we have to be able to do all three. And I think you also have to be very clear for yourself, like what you need, because I think a lot of times we just want help.

But we aren't really clear about what the help is. We just want help. Do you need help with something to just get done? Do you need help, you know, really delegating a responsibility, or do you need help emotionally to feel more supported, to have somewhere to go to work out your own worry? I started the how to CEO program about a week ago, which it's so amazing, so many incredible women working in this program. And, you know, I teach a class, live once a week, and then we do office hours several times during the week. And that's an opportunity to really talk to and engage with them, you know, individually and hear what their challenges are. And so even in the. In the two short weeks now that we've done office hours and I'm getting to know people, it's very obvious that this is just a common issue. And so for us, you know, when you think about providing help, well, I'll help you. You have a idea in your mind about what help looks like. And so when you then ask for help, I think in your mind, you think it should look like what you expect it to be, right? Because that's how you provide help. But when you're kind of in the world and you're like, can someone help me with this? Your lack of specificity about what you need almost guarantees that you're not gonna get what you need. And then, of course, that just reaffirms, I'm sure, what is a common belief for so many of us, which is, no one can really help me. No one really knows what I need, so why bother asking? Because I just have to do it myself anyway. And so this is different than delegating and all the other kind of things we talk about. Although I do believe it all starts there. Because a lot of the women I meet, you know, they just want help. Like they're set, sort of. I just need some help. But it's, you know, I think initially, sometimes it just means I need somebody to listen to me and help me sort out my thoughts, or I need somebody to do my laundry, or I need somebody to literally be responsible for this part of my business. And so the first thing to do is to sit down with a piece of paper.

And ask yourself, where do I need help? If I could have help anywhere in my life or my business, where would it be? What does help look like if I were to ask for help for that? So if it's a house thing, what does the help look like? If it's something to do with the business, what does the help look like? If it's something for you, what does it look like? Until you're clear, it's hard to go into the world and ask other people to help you and you don't know what you need. But then we also have to think about what you make it mean that you need help. Do you make it mean that you're weak, incapable, you don't have to be overwhelmed to ask for help? I don't think you need the justification of overwhelm to raise your hand and say, I need help today or now or forever. But I do think a lot of women have assumed a lot of responsibility because they knew what they wanted their lives and their businesses to look like, which is normal. And then it becomes almost difficult to help you because you become very committed to and focused on the way that you want help. So if you don't get it that way, you grow frustrated, and you just tell yourself, oh, see, it won't work. I'm not going to get the help I need. And you close it off, and it just becomes more evidence for you not to ask for help. And I just know that there are too many of you who have way too much amazing work to do in the world to be minimizing your impact because you don't want to leverage the support of others. And it's not that I know that you don't wish you could. It's just the work that the investment of yours to do it is. Feels daunting. And that's honestly so much of why I do what I do for leaders is helping you learn how to build that. It is a system. And you can curate systems that help you. That help you lead and build this business and have a great team and enjoy your personal life. Most of the women that listen to this podcast and that are my clients are doing okay financially, like you have means.

This doesn't take kajillions of dollars. But do you need help? So this isn't going to be a terribly long podcast today, y', all, because I want you to really allow yourself to chew on it. Where do you need help? You could have any kind of help that you wanted. What would it be? Where? In what part of your life or business or. And are we talking about something that someone will just do, like, go get my car washed? Are we talking about a responsibility you'd like to delegate ongoing, or are we talking about emotional support? One of my clients recently did a testimonial video, and that's what she talked about, is working with me. She said, you know, leaders are always out front, and so there isn't anybody for them. Leaders are busy supporting everybody else. There isn't anybody for the leader. And she said, you know, that's what my work has been with her. When she needs help, that emotional.

Help, that capacity help, how do I think about this problem? Help. That's what I do with her. And I think a lot of times we look for that kind of support in places where people are not able to provide it, not because they don't love you or like you or care about you, but there's not an understanding, right, of that challenge, those challenges that you face as a woman leading a life and a business. So where do you need help? What kind of help do you need? And then ultimately, are you willing to believe you could find it if you took the time to really outline and clarify what that is? So sit with that today. Get yourself some support. Get some help. You're worth it. Asking for support, to me, is an indication of strength, not weakness. Do you agree? I'll talk to you next time. One more thing before you go. In a world of digital courses and online content, I like to work with my clients live. Because I know that when you have someone you can work with, ask questions of and meet with, you're so much more likely to get the success that you want. So head on over to howtoceolive.com to learn more about our very exciting, very exclusive program just for female entrepreneurs. We'll see you there.