Reinventing Your Life and Your Business | S01 Episode 08

But if I do that.

That means I have to burn down everything that I've been doing. Let's talk about reinvention on this podcast. Here we go.

Hey. Hey. So here's the thing.

Okay? So this season of leadership is feminine. We're talking about reinvention, right? And we're talking about all the different parts of our lives that we can evaluate and look at our lives and our businesses and decide if there's some opportunity to reinvent. And so today I want to kind of. We're sort of a little over midway through the season, and I want to talk with you about what you want to reinvent in your life, but I want to help you unearth things that you may not even know are reinventable.

Okay? So the reference I made at the beginning of the podcast was actually from a call I just did yesterday. And I was talking to a client who has a business model and she's made money and it served her the way that she's got this business model. But now, in a time where, as I referenced in my last podcast, you know, hiring people is a little more challenging right now than it has been. That's not to say there aren't great candidates, because there are. And if you haven't registered yet for the masterclass I'm teaching on October 26th, I really would invite you to do that@ceohiring.com My intention is to bring you some very different and hopefully useful ways to think about hiring right now and everything. Like, we have to reinvent how we hire and how we lead, manage team right now. It's being demanded of us. You can ignore it or you can pay attention and get out ahead. That's my recommendation. So anyway, she was saying, like, I can't find, you know, I hired. She hired someone, actually. And then they didn't decided they didn't like the job, they didn't want the job, which is also happening to a lot of people right now. And so she's feeling incredibly overwhelmed because she was looking for support, she was looking forward to having help, and now.

They'Re gone. She only got one of the two people that she needed. And so as we were talking, even I was like trying to solve what we call the lower level problem, which is finding a person. And as we were like three quarters of the way through our coaching discussion, I said, well, wait a minute, have you ever considered doing this instead of that? Right. She does a lot of one on one consultations. And I said, what if you didn't do that? What if you just sold through a process online. So many other people do that. Why can't you do that? And that's when she had that response, right? Well, wait a minute. If I do that, then everything I've been doing, that's like burning it to the ground. And I'm like, yes, that's what reinvention is. As women, you know, one of the key tenets for me of leadership as feminine is that we are actually quite good at the cycle of life as women, naturally. We are very good at planting, growing, nurturing, developing and releasing.

And keeping love and grace even as we release. And that the truth is that, you know, if you think about just motherhood, right? And whether you're a mother or you've been mothered or you mother, you know, we all women in general nurture and mother people whether they're our kin or not. Yeah. But if we go just from the biological example of motherhood, right? The seed is in us. It is planted. We grow, we nurture, we love, we develop. And then we have a process where we disattach we unattach, literally, right? We cut that cord.

And now there's another seed, this baby that we grow and nurture and develop and love. And then we go through the process of unattaching, right? I have two 17 year olds and a 21 year old. I'm in it. I am in that process of learning how to hold grace and love for my kids and go through this separation process. Your business isn't any different, my love. And the only way you can reinvent yourself. So if we look at again that parallel. I'm 52, my kids are about to leave, my husband and I are reinventing our marriage, our relationship. Who, who will we be as a couple without kids in the house? Because we're not going to be the couple that we were when we were 27. Who will we be? So we just started ballroom dancing lessons. Come on you guys, this is so fun. I'm having a bless anyway. And then who am I if I'm not making protein shakes and making sure people have tupperwares for like who am I, right? Who am I if I'm not paying people's dues for soccer? I know you guys are resonating and some of you have much younger families, some of you don't have families, but you have animals. Like I get it, we all have these things that we're attached to, but we, the evolution of our feminine growth is planting, growing, nurturing, developing and releasing. And your business needs the same thing. If you are tethered to past success and past processes to secure future results, you will feel paralyzed, helpless and trapped. You have to learn to release, burn it down, let it go, believe that something else could be better. And the only way we do that is literally through tethering to the future instead of the past. And I really think that tether is like a magical velvet rope instead of like past to me feels heavy, chainy, or like heavy straps, whereas future feels velvety and smooth and like sparkly. And I should say that my frame of mind has always been like to get really mad at a problem and have a tantrum and then be really committed to solving it.

Like not indulging it, right? So again, that cycle, like everything comes to a point of release and right. We know, like if we, if this is an inane example, but if you didn't let yourself have birth, your child wouldn't thrive. You have to let that happen. You have to let that cord be cut. If you don't let your children go, and there's a lot of women who struggle with this, you don't let them become who they are.

You suffocate the child.

Emotionally.

They can't launch. And the same is true for your business. Where are you limiting reinvention because of your own fear? So I think, you know one of the things, the business model is a really interesting one because that requires an outside perspective. I'm pretty convinced because that's even happened to me. Those of you who've listened to my podcast for a long time know that several years ago I made the decision to work exclusively with female entrepreneurs. I had a podcast with 150 episodes. I had a website, I had a book of corporate clients who would invite me to come do workshops and classes and speak. And I took down the podcast. I took down the website, I changed everything I wrote and put in the world, and I said no to every corporate client. I turned down thousands and thousands of dollars of business because I knew the only way forward was to tether to that magical, beautiful, velvet future and let go of that burdens and the heaviness of what worked but no longer served me. I had moved beyond planting, growing, nurturing, developing, and was now serving an entity that no longer felt fulfilling. And I know that's very scary, beautiful, beautiful, human, but I also think you're a lot better at it than you give yourself credit for. And so I sat down. So I was. I thought one of the things that I think you could do out of this podcast is just Make a list and put the word keep at the top. And then make two. Make two columns, one with love. Keep with love. And what are you keeping with fear? Right? What feels amazing to keep in your life and in your business? Who feels amazing to keep in your life and in your business? And what or who has fear? If you keep it, you're keeping it because you're afraid not to have it. That's very different, right? That's a very different keep. So I sat down and I made a list of just in the last 90 days, you guys, things that I have reinvented. And some of them are quite small, but I like looking for evidence of my ability because I'm in the process, again, of really reinventing not what I offer to my clients, but how we do it. And so that's happening in my business, which is exciting and fun. This podcast is a reinvention, and I'll tell you, I was terrified to put it in the world. And I'm sure there's some people who don't listen anymore, but the people who are listening are like, dude, this is fun. And if you are liking this podcast, would you say so in a review? Just as an aside, I would love it if you would just go really quick to itunes and give this a review so that I can know that you like what I'm talking about. I know a lot of you email me, which I love, but put it in there, too. That'd be awesome. Anyway, so we're always reinventing again. I think this is intrinsically something that women are incredibly good at. We just don't pay attention. And then when things are bigger or a little more scary or we tell ourselves not very good at it, we shut down. The very skill that we have of planting, growing, nurturing, developing, releasing. So things that I have reinvented over the last 90 days, which don't laugh at me because you probably will, some of them are kind of silly. One of them is drinking coffee. Now, I still drink coffee, but I mostly drink decaf. Every now and then, I'll have caffeinated, but I recognized that drinking two cups of coffee every morning was absolutely making my adrenal system wracked. And I've gotten a lot of feedback and diagnostics that I have some work to do with that. So I stopped drinking coffee. I'll have a half decaf. I'll do things, but I still drink it. I drink like a decaf. I love the ritual of coffee, but I really don't need the caffeine. I think that Was a lie. I have a lot of energy in the morning. Diet soda. I don't drink. I don't drink soda. Every now and then I have a sparkling water. I don't drink it. I actually was diagnosed with sleep apnea 10 months ago, eight months ago. And I got a BiPAP machine. And I am religious. So I've reinvented how I sleep. And there are so many people I talk to about this, and they say I can never get used to it. I'm like, wow, that's so interesting. It was not an option for me. I come from a family of heart disease people, and I know that not breathing in your sleep is a key contributor. So I was very motivated. We have completely reinvented our home. We've redone the floors, we redid the cabinets. I've bought all new furniture. I've rearranged the rooms. I've changed the window treatments. Reinvented my space. That is a huge part of growth. I think for many women, my environment speaks dramatically to my energy. Do you. Is that true for you? Do you listen to that? We just hired a fractional cmo. We are reinventing how we market, how we think about marketing, how grown up we are as a business when it comes to marketing. I don't eat mayonnaise anymore.

Which is such a dumb thing. But if you guys knew my relationship with mayonnaise, you would know that's a big deal. And now when I eat it, I can taste how gross it is. I know all of you are like, mayonnaise is disgusting. And I'm like, listen, I have loved mayonnaise since I was two, probably even younger. And that's a big deal to lose that. I was afraid of what my life would be like if I didn't have mayonnaise in the cupboard anyway. I'm stupid and silly. And I've also reinvented some friendship. I released one with love and I embraced a new one.

Different kind of friend. I'm a different woman. I have different expectations of people that I offer into my life, that I create space for into my life. So when we think about growth as a leader, there's the. Really, the work I help women go through is from being the doers to the leaders. Yeah. And I really would invite you to make this keep list. What do you want to keep with love? And what are you currently keeping with fear? And pick one to reinvent. Right. What. What is it like? You know, I use the house as an example. I've never liked my house, but it was Convenient and it's in the right neighborhood and it's all blah, blah, blah. And I finally decided that I wanted to be in love with this house and I knew what it needed to be in love with it. And I got over the fear of what I had to do to make that happen. And it's been a really, really powerful experience. So remember this. Beautiful. As a woman, you already have this feminine knowing of how to plant, grow, nurture, develop and release.

And I actually think that a majority of our stress as women comes from not releasing when we're supposed to, when our wisdom is telling us, when we are called to. We cling, we hold out of fear, out of scarcity, out of obligation. All of which do not feel like a magical velvety rope. They feel like heavy, strappy, chainy anchors. And those places in your life want your attention. So I love to hear from you. I'd love to know what you're working on to reinvent. Where do you see opportunities for growth? You know, I think what's interesting is you all are here because, you know, I teach women how to lead and I, I do everything as tactical as, you know, how to have a hard conversation, how to set up a job description, how to do all those things. And I also.

Like to think that what we ultimately do is help women transition from head down, living their current lives through the reflection of their past lives instead of looking forward and becoming that leader, that CEO of your life. Yeah. And I think you have to do both. I don't think any process will ever work for you if you don't invest in who you are as a woman and as a leader. I think you have to do both. I don't believe processes are the only solution. You have to become the woman who loves those processes and embraces them and believes them. So I hope this gave you a little something something to think about today. Have a wonderful, wonderful day and I'll talk to you.