The Difference Between Wanting and Believing

Hello, my loves. Welcome to another car conversation with Kris Plachy, the CEO of Sage. Um, how are you? So, um, I'm starting the Hot Seat Summer in a couple weeks-ish, less than actually a week from tomorrow on the 10th. And so I've been just doing a lot of thinking about wanting and, um, And I've been writing about some of the things that have happened to me that— or that I, I really wanted, that are— were like kind of like felt like an impossibility, and then they happened. And so I've been sort of like just kind of thinking about what is it that made those different, or— because there's still things I would like to, experiences I would like to have, accomplishments I'd like to achieve, right, that I haven't yet. And that's— I mean, I think that's— there's something about that that's also kind of fun because it's fun to think about things like that. But like, what, what's the difference? And so I was thinking about how, you know, you go kind of through your day and I wouldn't say we have like, like we think about wanting something, it feels like it's a big deal. Like I want, you know, like as I talked about in some of my emails recently, like I wanted to become a member of the private club at Disneyland and I wanted to host these retreats and I wanted to create a 7-figure business. And you know, you just have these, these like those are big ones, they feel big and you know, whatever, we all have those. And then we just kind of go through the regular day, and I don't know that we think too much about wants, although we might say things like, I want to give so-and-so a call, I want to, uh, finish this up today, I want to try that new recipe, I want to try this new, I don't know, hair product. Like, we use that word want a lot in different contexts, right? But if you think about, like, what you do every day, like, there's a difference between wanting and knowing, right? So as I am talking to you today, right now I'm in the car, as I mentioned, and driving to pick up my daughter from the airport. And my expectation is right now is that I know I will do that. I will go pick her up at the airport. I don't have anything between me and that that's like, oh, I hope I make it. I don't know, it's really hard. I don't know, I just can't seem to motivate myself to, you know, make it happen. I'm really confused about how I'm going to get to the airport. I just don't know. It just feels overwhelming, right? I'm not in any kind of spin about it. I'm not in any kind of anxiety about it. I'm just gonna go to the airport and pick her up, and I know that I will. Now, we also know that anything could happen today, right? I could get stuck in traffic. I could get in a car accident. I could, um, she could— her flight could get diverted to a different airport. Like, there's— oh my goodness, so many things that could happen that would mean I wouldn't pick her up at the airport today. But I'm not concerned about that. I'm not like fretting. I'm not anxious. I don't have all these, these thoughts that are preventing me from believing and knowing I'm gonna pick her up at the airport, right? Think about your day. Like, there's things that you just know you're gonna do today. You're gonna brush your teeth. You're gonna make your dinner, or you're not gonna make dinner. You're gonna wear this you're gonna put on this cute new outfit today, or you're gonna talk to so-and-so today, or like, you just know you're doing that today. You're not in any kind of tortured, oh, this is so complicated. Okay. But something happens in the way that we think about things when we say we want something that we don't have, when we say something that we want, or we think about something that we want that we don't identify with at that knowing level. So, you know, in the free coaching call I did last week, I coached a woman who said she wanted to hit $250,000 in her business by the end of the year. And she's sort of picking up the pieces. Things fell apart in her business. She lost some key clients, and so she's sort of trying to rally. But her thought process is that that is like really, really confusing. She doesn't know where to start, and it's just so much. Like, of course I'm like, yeah, but if you just knew you were gonna make $250,000, like, I mean by the end of the year, what would you do right now? And her— she had an immediate answer. She said, I would pick a platform for the billing that I do. I'm like, okay, so which one are you picking? She's like, well, it's down— it's between— down— it's down to 3. It's down to 3. All right, let's pick one. I was just like, oh my God, no, I have to do— I have to do all the demos. I'm like, do we know? Do we have to do the demos? Or could you just know which one you want? Because right like that That alone, just that right there is stopping her from believing that she can make $250,000 by the end of the year. And she just, she thrashed about like we all do, like we all do when we're so attached to our reason why we can't, to our reason why it's hard, to our reason why we don't, to our reason why we just don't know. We just don't know. Even though you know what you want. You know what you want. So if, if this woman believed, she just knew she was gonna make $250K by the end of the year, what would she do today? She would do different things than what she's doing now, which is nothing. She's in paralysis. What she would do is like call new clients, call on, seek it out, right? I know I'm going to the airport. What do I do? I get in my car and I get on the freeway and I put the map in so that I make sure I get rerouted if the traffic's bad and I just go. I don't have a story about it. Oh, maybe I should, maybe I should really think about my route before I begin. Maybe I should plot it all out. Maybe I should— what if I get hungry? All the things that we do. So this is what I've been really trying to think about, really honestly. Like, I love sharing this with you. I also am doing it for myself because if I know that I want to achieve a particular goal for myself, there's something that I really want that it's very obvious when I think about it in the context of what I just shared with you. Like, I just know it's gonna happen. And then I think about that thing that I want, I don't have that same vibe. Feels outside of me. It doesn't feel like it's just gonna happen. But the only thing that's separating me from that is belief. It's just, it's just believing it. I know that sounds so freaking simple. It's not. I mean, everybody, like, there's so much hoop-dee-doo, right? Like, oh, it's manifestation and you have to get your feelings aligned. All of that's true. I, I don't want to dismiss anybody's approach, a way of thinking about this. Like, whatever freaking works is great, but really all we're talking about is the alignment of belief. And if I just knew I was a woman who— insert here, right? Whatever it is that you would come to a call and coach with me on and say, Kris, I really want this, but I— whatever that is. I really want this person to quit. I really want to fire this person. I really want to hire this situation. I really want to make this money. I really want to sell this company. I really want to buy this company. I really don't want to own this. I don't want to do this company anymore. I really want to I really want to have a better relationship with my kids. I really want— okay, what does a person who has that believe about it? That's it. I think it's stupid simple, but we don't want it to be because if it's simple, then what that means, that means we have to get to work, whatever that means. It means the thing that you are uncomfortable doing, you have to do right? I'm gonna stick with my airport example simply because it's a good one. Um, I hate going to the San Francisco Airport. I hate driving in the Bay Area. I have a lot of anxiety about it. Uh, there's a lot of cars. And of course her flight is arriving at like 6 PM, peak traffic. Today that I record this is July 2nd. I don't even want to tell you what the traffic's— I can't even imagine. I'm looking at the traffic on the other side of the road right now. It is so awful. I have all this jaja about it, right? But I just know I'm gonna go pick her up. So all that anxiety that I have that I know I'm even gonna feel— I'm gonna be on the bridge and it's probably gonna be stopped traffic, and I have all this story about earthquakes that have been happening. Listen to me, I got it, I got story. But I'm gonna go pick up my daughter. I just know I am. I believe it. So none of that gets me in— none of that stops me. So what do you just need to believe instead of like making it like a separate, like, whoa, I want this thing and it feels really impossible or really hard. What if you just believed you would have it? And like, think about a person that already does have it. Because those people exist too, right? Whatever it is that you're telling yourself that you want, someone else has already achieved it or wants it or has it, has accomplished it. They already have. What do you think they think about it? Probably think they're, they're proud of themselves. They— that was quite an accomplishment. But now that they're a person who knows that she has it or can have it, what does she think about? Like, of course, yeah, no, it's fine. Like, if you're looking at changing your business financial threshold, right, maybe you've been running at $3 million and now you want to get to $6 million. Okay, what if you just believed that? I run a business that's generating $6 million. Now, what would be the thing that you would do today that's different than what you have been doing? Oh, just such a good question. Anyway, thanks for tuning in today. Um, we're gonna start pivoting. I'm gonna share with you a little bit about what's going on in my world. So I wanted to do this Hot Seat Summer, um, 4 weeks of coaching, you know, once, once, once a week on Friday for an hour. Because I've never done anything like that, and I just wanted to sort of see what happened. But going into the, to the next year, which really for me starts in September, um, I will only be working with women in my Sage program. And Sage will run September through July. Um, I like to think of it as a private coaching mastermind experience. So you work with me, you have a lot of access, we work together, we work— there's two ways to work with me through Sage. You can work with me as part of the, or the group option, or you, um, where we still use Voxler together, or, um, we can include some private coaching in there, one-on-ones. But that's my focus. So if you're out there and you are, you know, generating 7 figures in your business— why do I say that? Not because I care about how money you make, but because your business has to be established. It has to be— I don't help people figure out how to start a business. That's not my business. That's not what I do. You don't want me to help you do that. I'm not— that's not my jam. Um, you need to have your business, and we need to start to think about what we're doing with that business. And whether you want to scale it or whether you're ready to step away from it, the framework is the same. So I have people in my business who are trying to grow and double and then in my program, and then I have people in my program who are really looking to exit within the next 24 months. Like, you both have to make some of the same decisions, and so it's a, it's a really good overlap. So it's a small group, but if it's something that you are interested in, then I'd invite you to go to thevisionary.ceo. Right at the top, you'll see the information for Sage. Go check out the invitation that we've put together read about it. We have some really cool gatherings that I include in the private coaching with you do with me, so you'll see what all those are. I think that us getting together in a room, um, is, is absolutely the superpower secret sauce of what I do. And, um, plus I think we should do fun things. I think we should go have cool experiences together and do things that you wouldn't maybe normally do for yourself. So I'm just showing that here in case you're not on my mailing list. And if you want to be on my mailing list, I would encourage you go to thevisionary.ceo/letters because I send out twice a month sort of a more robust, um, letter that fuels and feeds your mind and as a woman who is leading a big life and a big commitment, lots of big commitments, and just gives you my— I just want to share with you my perspective and insight on what I observe in my clients and myself in another way other than just the podcast. So anyway, thank you for tuning in as always, joining me today in this car conversation. Talk to you next time.