The Real Cost of Avoiding Accountability

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Welcome to Leadership is Feminine. I'm Chris Plecky. I am your host, and pet Sitting saga continues.

So you listen to the last week's podcast, and guess what? I have two more.

I hired another pet sitter just to come for the day when we went to our daughter's soccer game. And she was very meticulous. She had, like, a five, eight page agreement that we had to sign, which I did. And she wanted all these details, all this information. Fantastic. Put it all on there. And I told her that the dogs that we have, three little dogs, they each get a packet of food. When I left that day, there were four packets of food. So she was only going to feed them once, which means if each dog had gotten a pack of food, then there would have been three packets gone, right? There would have been one left. I got home, there were three packets left, which means she only gave them one packet.

And I had a minute, and I texted her and I said, so why. What did you feed the dogs? Because I told you that they need to get one packet of food each, and there were three packets left, which means you only used one packet. She said, oh. And she went back and read what I wrote, and she said, you're absolutely right. I misread that. And I gave them one packet between the three of them. Like, these are small little packages, you guys. Like, I don't even know six ounces of food. I don't. I have shih Tzus. They're tiny. And I. I just. I just don't know what to say now. I will tell you, she handled this really beautifully, and she apologized and said. And. And actually gave me the money back that we paid her for the day and said, I can't accept this because I didn't do a good job, and I need to do a good job. And so listen, if we're gonna. If we're gonna screw up, this is the way to sort of handle it, right? We had a different woman that I met that came to be with the dogs for a longer time because I was going to be out of town for six days, and my husband was going to be out of town for four days. So I met with her. We did a meet and greet. I checked her references. I will tell you that I found our initial meeting. This is all I. I'm sharing this with you because I know that you all can relate to this when you hire people. So I met her, and I wanted to like her. Right? That's, first of all, what we have to notice about ourselves. Like, I just, I wanted to like her. I wanted. I. I really knew we needed someone. And so I'm like, I need. I need to like her. And I did like her. Like, she's lovely.

She started coughing a lot.

Sort of laughing at myself. She started coughing a lot in the interview. And I asked, you know, are you okay? Are you sick? Have you been sick? And she said, no, I just have long Covid and I've had it for a long time. I'm like, okay, I'm sorry to hear that. So she said she. Sometimes if she talks too much, she coughs a lot. Well, she did talk a lot. And then she proceeded to tell me her whole life story. I mean, legit, like from the time she started having kids. She's 60. From the time she started having kids and all the things, and her relationship with her children and how she doesn't have one with one of her kids anymore. And, you know, it was. It was one of those things where I just, as the coach, the coach in me just sort of listens. And I probably let her go on too long. But regardless, I was like, okay, she's lovely. She. She's probably not someone I'd want to like, you know, spend a weekend in a cabin with, but the dogs really liked her. Everything was great.

So midweek that I'm gone, she sends me a text, give me a little update, and she tells me that she hasn't been able to walk the dogs because they're really hard to catch for to put their leashes on. And she's really struggling with her oxygen. And, you know, it's one of those things when you're not there, it's like, okay, well, you know, do the best you can. Now, one of the things I should say is there was something about my conversation with her that also sort of made me have some red flags. And so I asked one of my team members to help me create a pet sitting agreement. And we used good old fashioned chatgpt. And I also then embedded all of the sort of expectations that I have because the more people I meet, the more I realize that we all might think differently about what it means to be in someone's home and what it means to take care of dogs. And so I put everything I can think of in there. You know, we don't. We don't eat on the furniture, we don't eat in the bedrooms. These are sort of basic things that to me, I take for granted. And then when someone comes and stays in your house, like, maybe I should be Very clear. And I just. Again, I'm echoing all of this because I think all of you listening might be able to relate. There are things that you think are obvious that are not to other people. Like when the pee pads get pee, we throw them in the outside garbage, not in the kitchen, which is what somebody did before. And when we walked in, you can imagine what the house smelled like. Like these are basic things that I think are true, but not everybody else does. So I tried to be as thorough as I can. Walk the dogs every day. I recommended that they walk the, the two dogs, the puppies together, and then walk the older dog separately. Not to leave the dogs alone for more than four hours. You know, we're paying for a full pet house sit. So anyway, all seemed very reasonable. She signed this agreement, it was all great. Then during midweek, she tells me she can't walk them because she's running low on oxygen. Okay. Then when I am driving home on Sunday, I decided to look at my house camera, which I also put in the agreement that the house had video surveillance.

And come to see that the day before I got home, she had been gone for seven hours from 4ish o' clock to 11ish o p.m. so the dogs were alone for way more than four hours. And the day before that they were alone for about five hours.

So when I got home, I sent her a text and said, you know, why did you leave the dogs alone for that amount of time on this day and this day? And took her a long time to respond and she did. And she apologized profusely and said all the reasons why it happened. She had agreed to take care of these other dogs and she had told me about that and they took too long and she was really upset. And then also this other dog that she had taken care of passed away. And so it was a very emotionally draining day for her and she was exhausted when she got home. Otherwise she would have told me, but. And she was very sorry and she understood why I, why I was upset and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Definitely not an excuse, she says. But it is why I haven't mentioned it yet today. I'm emotionally exhausted. That's exactly what she wrote. I'm so very sorry. So I am a pretty compassionate person. In fact, I get in trouble because I tend to be a little too nice from time to time. And I don't know if it, if it's my age or my profession or a combination of both. I don't care. I don't really care. Like the story she told me, okay, in the agreement that she signed, it said, if you have some sort of emergency and you're not, you need help. Our son lives 15 minutes away. You can contact him. She could have done that. She could have called me, she could have texted me. She could have said something to someone, that our dogs were going to be alone. There's no way that our dogs didn't pee in the house somewhere. I don't know where. There's no way. Seven hours. These are little baby dogs, right? They're a little over a year old, and we have a senior dog who just pees whenever she feels like it. So nonetheless, I just responded and said, thank you for letting me know. I think we can agree that based on the fact that you couldn't walk them and that you couldn't meet the expectations of how long to keep them from being alone, we will not be working together again in the future. So that makes three pet sitters in just about three weeks that I have fired and who have not delivered. And I don't really think it's a commentary on the profession, but I think it's a commentary on a lot of things that I hear from my clients and that I notice myself. And this is my perspective. And you do not have to agree with me at all. But I would invite you to consider, always consider other ideas. And I have talked about this in the past. I just saw a really good post with Brene Brown. She's just written a new book and she's a big favorite of mine. And she, in this clip, is talking about how we are not okay. If you employ people, you are employing people right now who are traumatized. And many of us submit to and participate in our own trauma every day by watching what's happening in the world. On the global front, in the national front, in our communities, and in our reels and social feeds, we are bombarded with very disruptive, painful, disconcerting, and oftentimes dystopian craziness. So if you're an employer right now, you aren't hiring people who are in many ways experiencing some version of repeated or disquieting circumstances. Some people have genuine trauma that they're sort of recycling through their lives every day through what's going on in the world. That's a very real, true statement. We are in a circumstance right now where that is true. In many cases, we have employers who are equally quick to anger, quick to frustrate, also feeling the weight of the marketplace, the industry, the impact on pricing that, like there Are so many things happening, and there's no way you can be a human being and be desensitized to this. Like, it's just the reality. So my perspective is, I believe we, we all, we all have to work together, employees and employers. Like, we have to work together to achieve what we all want. Employees accept a job because likely they want to make money, they want to provide for their family, they want to do anything from pay the rent to buy a beautiful vacation. Like, that's up to them. What these. What employees in general want to do. Employers have results they want to achieve for their business, and they have a. They have results they want to achieve for their clients, and they have results they want to achieve for themselves through the lens of business and clients. Yes, we're all here together. And I believe that if I make you an invitation, I should be clear about that invitation. Hey, you want to be my pet sitter? Here's my invitation. Here's my expectations.

You say yes to that invitation. You have said yes. That is your commitment. That is your word. If you say, I would like to be paid to do this job based on how you've outlined it, you have made a commitment. I have made a commitment to you that I know how many of you are listening to this, that are employers are. Are. Are going to yell and agree with me. How many people are not doing what you asked them to do, what they agreed to do, what you would think a person would do. But I also want to hold you guys that leaders are not doing what they're supposed to do, and that is holding people accountable. You see, I had three pet sitters in the last three weeks who did not meet the expectations that we agreed to. And I know that I was clear. So I'm not. This is not a case of me like, oh, I should do a better job. I know. I was very clear, not even really that demanding, to be honest. I cannot in good conscious, hire them again. I can't do it for me, I can't do it for my animals, and I can't do it for all of you. Because if I don't hold them accountable, I recycle inadequacy into the workforce. If I don't hold someone accountable who doesn't do the job that we agreed to. And I tolerate it. I accept it. Because why? It's really hard to find a good pet sitter. That might be true, and it's turning out to be true.

Right? But I am unwilling to tolerate. Well, she's really good with the dogs. This is what this is. What you guys would say was, they're really good with the clients. They're just really difficult to manage. They really don't follow through. They make a lot of mistakes, but they're really good with the client. No, because as soon as I can't trust someone, it's over. And if they don't experience the impact of their results, why would they ever change? And the same is true for you. If you keep tolerating poor performance, unmet expectations, chronic big deal mistakes, you do not realize the consequence of your behavior either. As the boss, you don't learn how to, how to walk people out the door, how to say to them, I'm sorry, this isn't going to work out. It's very obvious to me that this is not a good deal for either one of us, so we're not going to continue. Like, I, I don't like to fire people, but I really don't like having someone I pay money to that I don't trust. And so I would just really, really invite you to look at yourself first before we start getting all furious. So employees are this and Gen Z is that, and Gen A alpha is this and six and seven and all the things we're all talking about like who cares? You know, what I care about is what are you doing? And it's the drag, right? Because I, as I have said in previous podcasts, like other people's poor unrecycle or recycled, poor performance becomes my problem. And then I'm the one who looks like the Karen manager boss who fires people because my expectations are too high. No, they're not. We have to start somewhere and we don't have to be a jerk about it. I was not a jerk to this woman. I was very clear with her. My exact message to her was, thanks for letting me know. I think since the dogs were kind of hard for you anyway to handle and get on walks, it's probably better that we don't plan to work together again. Please let me know what I owe you. Take care. That was it. She tried one more time to make excuses. And I said, I appreciate your apology. And then I paid her and that is it. We are done. You don't have to be a jerk. You don't have to be mean, but you have to be willing. And when you think about the people that you have in your business, do you protect your business's interests like you would protect your children or your pets? Because I think sometimes we don't handle things the same. But, but your business's interest. If you're paying someone every day to regularly fail, regularly, not deliver results, regularly make excuses, make, regularly burden other people with their lack of effort, lack of motivation, chronic problems, chronic drama, say, no, we have to. We. We can't recover as a. As a workforce, combined workforce, as employees and employers unless we really make a conscious choice that we will be mutually accountable to one another. And the same is true for employees. Listen to me. If you work for someone who is an absolute outright jerk, please quit. Please don't make excuses. Please start looking today, you staying and working with them because. And I get it, it's easy for me to say, but because you need the money, because of the benefits, because of this, I know you can create more magic in your life, but you're not going to create it under the umbrella, under the hooded veil of a difficult, horrible boss. And that boss does not reap the benefit of their consequence when employees stay with them. And this accountability, mutual accountability, it's an epidemic. And it's really, really. It's so upsetting. There are so many spaces in our lives right now where it's so obvious. It heartbreaks me. It really does. I feel torn up by it. So I can only do my little part, Fire my pet sitters, and we're gonna try again. In fact, while I've been recording this, my husband sent me a text. He said, I found another one. Let's meet her tomorrow. I'm like, okay, let's go. Because we have things we're doing. Like, it's. It's. We have to find someone. It's rough, but I don't want to keep someone simply because I think it's hard to find someone. Please don't do that. As soon as you let someone go, you create space for a new person. And you're not a jerk. You don't have to be mean. And we don't want to fire people out of anger. It was really good because I asked her that question, why did you leave my dogs alone? And she took probably three hours to respond. And in that time.

I took some deep breaths. I was home, my dogs were fine. They're lying here right now. Super cute. Everybody's okay. She bit off more than she could chew. She made an agreement she couldn't keep. Okay, maybe she won't next time, right? I was. I was talking to my assistant. You know, there's that expression f around and find out, right? When people f around, but they don't find out, they keep effing around. Do you know what I'M saying. And that's true for you too, boss. If you're not a good employer, if you are difficult, if you are mean, if you are aggressive, if you are emotional and moody and difficult to work for, and you f around like that. And employees don't quit on you and you. So it means you don't find out, you don't realize the consequences of your behavior. And at the end of the day, like, we don't have to beat each other up, we don't have to be mean to each other. We don't have to hurt each other. All we have to do is say, you know what? If that's how you're gonna roll, you're not a part of this with me anymore. It's okay. You go be you. But I'm gonna be over here. It's okay. You're gonna flake, you're not gonna communicate, you're not gonna tell me that you've left my dogs alone for three hours longer than you agreed to. I am certainly not inviting you back into my world. Go be you. I don't have to yell at you. I don't have to insult you. I don't have to do any of that. But I can tell you, you're not my person, so we're done. But we have a problem. This is an issue. And rather than us all standing and pointing fingers at everybody else, we have to first start with ourselves. Like, where am I compl issue? And I can certainly tell you in the example of this person in particular, I was complicit. From the moment I let her talk to me for an hour about her life and all her problems, I was complicit. It began there. And that's why I got the weird feeling. And I made the agreement because I just knew, like, something's not right here. But, you know, I convinced myself it would be okay. My back was to the wall. I needed someone really bad. You know, the things you all do too, but not again. So if you don't know how to hold people accountable, if that's really hard for you, if your people pleasing trigger is just consuming, if you are terrified that people will not like you, if you're afraid that you're going to literally melt and fall into the ground, I understand that because I was that way for years. That is solvable, though, and that is what I help my clients do. So much of the conversations I have with my clients are about how to really move through these difficult moments. Because when you run a business and when you run a big life. You have a lot of them and you can't duck out of them. You gotta face them, you gotta move through them so that we minimize not only their potential in the future, but the impact, the emotional trigger impact they have on you over and over and over again. Once you know who you are and what you want to create and how you want to create it, you know how to do that. It belongs to you.

Once you know how to say no, not for me, no thank you, you don't have to do it with all that emotion behind it that feels so bad, you can just make the decision. We move along. Women aren't really taught that. We're taught to be kind. We're taught to be nice. We're taught to be accommodating. We're taught to be understanding. So much so that even when it comes to our own agreements, the things that we ask for of other people, we compromise, we tolerate, we under expect even when our expectations were clear. And then we buy into the story that something out. We're the jerk if we hold the expectation. But you're not. So I hope this gives you a little something something.

The trials and tribulations of pet sitting. I hope I don't ever have another story for you. But you know what? I could. Thanks for tuning in today. It Bye.