Visionary Doubt | E184

Well, hello. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome. Welcome to Leadership Is Feminine. I am your host, Chris Plackey, and I'm thrilled that you're here. We're going to have an interesting conversation today, something I spend a lot of my time talking to my clients about. And I know that so many of the women even that I know who are running their own businesses go through. So I hope this is, I don't know, let's just call it one of those real conversations sometimes that I like to have with you where we just sort of talk about the real truth of what's going on out there for you. And I hope it gives you some peace and validation and maybe nudges you a little bit in the direction of your vision. So we're talking about something today called that I'm calling visionary Doubt. I was just trying to synthesize what I experienced to be a pretty common challenge for many of us. And essentially I think we experience visionary doubt along the way. It's not like a one time event. I think we could all go back to the first little seedling of a moment when you had a thought and you thought, oh, I think I could do this. I think I could start a new thing. And you are full of excitement. You see the opportunity, you see the potential, you're excited about it. And then I don't know if it's the next day or two weeks later, you're like, what am I thinking? What was I thinking? This is ridiculous. This is going to be so hard. I don't have the time for this. I don't have the money for this. No one's going to want this. This is silly. Who do I think I am, right first time we experience that visionary doubt? Because as a visionary woman, I really think that our journey is so unique because we have this idea that comes to us and then we have a spark of belief that says, yeah, I can do that, I could make that happen. You know, we stand on the shoulders of our ancestors who, who might have had those thoughts but didn't have the capacity, didn't have the resources, didn't have the support to do any of it. So here we are, like really, you know, laptop, wi, fi connection. We could probably figure out how to do it.

And yet I think all of the limitations that we experience kind of crawl in and a lot of people have doubt. So this is for the, that doubt happens even before you have a business. But then, then we grow this business, then we get past that and we start to grow it and we start to make Money. And we start to have to do what, what it is that I help so many of my clients with, which is build the team.

And maybe we build the team for the first time, like as we're growing and we, and we feel really solid in what we've built. But then we get confronted with some challenges. We get confronted with people on the team who don't do what we had hoped they would do. We get confronted with turnover on the team. We get confronted with a level of average performance that shocks us. A lot of people are facing right now some real challenges with hiring and engaging people at a level that I think many of us thought was normal before. But the world of work is changing for a lot of people. And so we start to lack our own confidence. We lack confidence in the team, which means that ultimately we start to lack or have limits to the belief of the very vision that we had. Maybe it was to achieve a $10 million business, a $50 million business, a 2 million dollar business. Maybe it was to touch the lives of 15,000 people or to sell this many widgets or products or services. And when we're confronted with these growth phases where the team, the apparatus that's supposed to deliver on this vision doesn't match what we thought it would, I think some of us face visionary doubt. We start to wonder, is this thing supposed to get bigger? Am I the woman who can get it bigger? Is this the only way I'm going to be able to get it bigger is with people like this? And if so, can that even happen? Is the idea actually meant to be as big as I think it is, as big as I imagined it could be? And do I have the stick, stamina, the resilience, the heart to do it? And I think those are all really important questions that you have to answer, but we can't answer them from a doubter's mind. If you, if you're in a doubter's mind sort of frame of mind, your, your answers are going to be terrible.

So what we have to do is go to the woman who does achieve it and doesn't. We don't have to know how she did. We just have to go to this version of you that is standing at the finish line of whatever this vision is that you see. Maybe it's the revenue level that you wanted to get to, maybe it's the number of lives impacted, it's the number of products sold, it's the top line revenue, it's the gross margin, it's the profit margin, it's the notoriety that you want this product or service to have. It's the thought leadership that you want to have in the world based on what you've done. Whatever that vision is.

I want to invite you to go to her, close your eyes, and imagine yourself as that version of you who has touched the goal. She has realized this vision. Right? I've told you several times on this podcast that I love to generate revenue. I love to help my clients. I love to produce valuable content. And you know what I would love to know is that the end of the day, 20 million women's lives were improved because of the work I did. It's a really, really big number, and it's almost impossible to calculate, especially with the way that everything is so digitized and spreads everywhere. I don't necessarily care about the revenue that goes with that. I just want to know that even this podcast can get shared by three people listening to it. And then those three people and those three people, right? Like.

And there are days that I doubt that, right? How am I ever going to get there? Is this even something people really want to hear? I mean, there's the people who listen. You want to hear it, but, like, how do I do? And so I doubt that. So I have to go to her. I have to close my eyes. I have to connect with a version of Chris who is proudly sitting and saying, wow, I can't believe this. This is so insane. What I wrote in my journal so long ago is now, like, realized, because that's the mind, that's the energy, that's the feeling that I need to come back and answer those questions. Am I the woman who can make this happen? Well, of course I am, because I did when I check in with my future self who got there. So then I have to start to ask myself different questions. Am I willing to do the literal and figurative work of getting over the doubt? Am I willing to set doubt aside and do it anyway? Am I willing to worry less about how.

And willing to focus more on who I need to become, who I need to step more fully into? I saw somebody say something somewhere recently, like, there's no better version of us, like that that was somehow something people were using against themselves, which, of course, I would never want us to do. But I do think there is a better version of us. I do think we can grow. I have. Haven't you. Wouldn't you say you're a different version of yourself now than you were 6, 7, 8, 12 years ago? And haven't you grown? Don't you Know more. Don't you understand yourself better? I would hope so. Your business and its growth will challenge you to step up achieving whatever that vision is that you set out to achieve. That thing you saw, it's not meant to be easy, is it? And I know there's plenty of things in your life that you have not quit because it was hard.

You've hung in there, you've worked your tail off. Why would you start to doubt it now? And I think why a lot of women hit this moment of visionary doubt is because when you realize you can no longer scrappy, do it on your own.

So you're somewhere between 1 and 5 million, because all of y' all have a little different breaking point. And a lot of that has to do with the kind of business that you're running. But when you hit that point, you can't do it by yourself. You can't pinch hit it anymore. You realize there's a new level of you you have to tap into. There are behaviors, habits that you've developed up until this point that don't serve you anymore. And you have to be willing to stop engaging in those habits and those behaviors.

You have to ask yourself.

What is the way that the woman who gets this business through this next phase? How does she think about this? What does she need to learn? What is hard that she knows that she can make simple if she gets support, tools, resources, assets, if she develops herself? But you have to ask yourself if you're willing to do it. Because I face and meet people regularly who want what's here. They want the vision. You've heard me say this, right? We've. We all want the thing. We want to lose the weight, we want to have the money, we want to take the amazing trip. We want to whatever it is, getting good at pickleball.

But are we willing to actually become the person who achieves that goal? Because that's so different, right? I've always wanted to weigh what I weigh right now for years. But it wasn't until I was willing to become her and do the work of her that I got here. It's not just wishing for it, and it's certainly not yelling at how hard it was. That's not getting me there. I play pickleball. You all know that I've never been a competitive athlete. I've never been an athlete. I am taking lessons, doing drills, and I. Every time I play, I feel.

Like I suck. But I'm getting better and I still go out there and I do it. And the women that Work with me in lead and in Sage. They know it's awkward, it's hard. How do I change how I hire? How do I change how I communicate with my team? How do I let people go faster? How do I replace people faster? How do I have difficult conversation? How do I tell the team that the. What they've been doing is no longer working? How do I tell people on the team that this person who's been here for 12 years is going to leave? How do I become a woman who is willing to make really difficult decisions about people because the vision is so vital? I know you didn't start your business to take care of employees. Now, if your business also happens to feed the needs of the people that work for it, this is good news because we were really healthy ecosystem when everybody wins. But there are a lot of people I know that you are going to hire who don't want the same thing as you love. And then you literally pay them to hurt the company because you're afraid to what, fire them? Talk to them about it? And these are those growth points. And that's when the team's issues are so daunting. And not even that they're bad sometimes they're just daunting. There's lots of layers. You built this big company. You've got several locations. Right. Whatever it is. And now it's just daunting. I don't know what to do. You start to doubt the vision. You start to doubt yourself and your capacity to lead this business through to that next level. You're not alone. But that doubt will win every time if you don't invest in how you think and how you feel and how you act. Because it is hard. Being an entrepreneur is hard. Growing a company is hard. Hiring people and getting talented people is hard. I'm not telling you anything you don't know. But what I hope I'm helping you realize is this is just a moment, love. And so I was just talking to Michelle and we were talking about. Because I have a. I think I've mentioned too, I'm very proud of the fact that I have a very high retention rate in my, especially my Sage program, which is my premier program. I work with women for years. Right. And as we go into Sage, it's like a retainer structure program. So there's access when they need it. Mostly it's support when they need it. And then I provide some development ideas and experiences with them too. Right. But I think that there's a lot of people who do similar work to What I do that are more kind of in the fast food business, cheap results business, and I don't do that. Right. And so we watch our clients come and work with us, and then usually after, I'm gonna say, eight months to a year, they start to see, like, oh, this is cool. Like, things start to move, they start to get some traction. Whether it's the team is a little better, the results are better, they're taking a little more time for themselves, they're not working as hard, they're out of the one part of the business they dreaded. Like, there's these. These milestones that women start to feel, which is so great. But then I, you know, they keep working with me, and then some key person quits or some vital person totally tanks, just, you know, as they were, poops the bed, right? They just all of a sudden are like, you're like, who's this person? And where did you. What did you do with the other one? Right? The industry changes. Things change. All of a sudden, you didn't have to market. Now you do. Things change. And so Michelle and I were talking about this, and she. She said back to me, she's like, yes. And that's what people, I don't think, really want to understand. It's like, not fast food. Building a company that lasts is not. You can't do that on Big Macs and fries. It's a substantive experience. And so I'm very honored and proud to work with my clients for as long as I do, because I go through the tides with them, and there are ebbs and flows and reaps and sows. Right? And we move through those together because that doubt creeps back in. As soon as there's enough of a significant moment in your business, that key person, the market changes, you hit the wall. Like, I don't. I don't know if I can do this again, Chris. I don't know if I can replace this position again. I don't know if I can go through this loop again. Visionary. Doubt. Overwhelm, exhaustion, frustration. Like, shouldn't it be easier by now? I don't know. Shouldn't life be easier by now? Like, once you get to be a certain age, shouldn't raising kids be easier by now?

I don't know. I. I don't think that thought is useful. I think what is useful is, oh, I know how to do this.

And so I will continue to choose to do this and not indulge doubt, because I still want the result more than I want to indulge. How much I don't like it, the effort. Do you desire what you want to achieve more than you want to feel discomfort? Are you willing to put your head down and say, well, yep, didn't choose this, but I still want that. And I know I'm the woman who can make it happen. And so instead of indulging all the reasons why I can't, I am going to go talk with her, the woman who did my version of me. And I'm going to look to her for that motivation, for that experience, for that feeling in advance of the success that I know I am capable of. And I'm going to talk to her and I'm going to ask her, what does she need? What did she need to get where she got? And I'm going to, I'm going to make decisions from that point of view today. Are you willing? So if you're sitting there right now and maybe you have a very successful business and you're really proud of the success that you have already, but you just don't, you don't know if you've got what it takes to get it to the next step or even if the business can get to the next step, like can it really happen? The question I want you to ask yourself first is, are you willing to change? Because if it's not something you're willing to do, if you're not willing to come into yourself and first gain your own. Aha. Your own epiphany, your own like, okay, wait, what, what can I do? What do I need to change here? Right? We all know that we have patterns and loops, and I was just listening to someone today talk about the number eight and that eight is the year, is the number of changing patterns and ruts. Because 8 likes flow, right? So if we want to change a rut or a pattern, we have to change the direction that we go. Which I thought was super interesting. And I think a lot of us are so comfortable with the way that we do things that we don't. We, we just won't do the change. And I don't want to make you wrong in that. I want you to be honest with yourself about that. Because wishing for something to be different so that you could just stop feeling this doubt and this overwhelm and this frustration and this self lack of self confidence. I would rather it would be so much better if you just said, no, I'm not willing to change, I don't want to. I'm going to keep it exactly as it is. This works. But if you want it to grow, and you want things to be different and you want to get out of doubt, then let's just agree that the next step really is for you to change, is for you to invest in you and do it differently. Because when you start to be different, the team will be different. The people you hire will be different. The things you say yes to and the things you say no to will be different. You will get different results. And from there, you will make new decisions, and from there you will make new decisions, and from there you will make new decisions. Right. But we first have to decide, am I really willing? Am I willing to change? Am I more committed to the vision than I am to fighting discomfort? So visionary doubt, really common. I haven't met one person yet who doesn't experience it. But we've got to be honest with ourselves. When we hit these moments, what do we need? Are we willing to change? And if we are, then what's the next best step? You know, that's my favorite question. There's always a way, love. I believe this. This is one of my core beliefs, which is a blessing and a curse. I believe mostly a blessing, but I always believe there's gotta be another way. I just don't accept no for an answer for myself or for anyone else. Oh, no, it won't work. I don't agree with you. I don't agree with you that it won't work. I think we could give up before we find out how it could work. But I don't agree with you that it won't work. I always believe it can work. That just means, though, that there's gotta be another way that we've gotta start thinking about it, showing up for it, acting in it. Who do we surround ourselves with? We were just having this conversation, like, if you have a team that's losing all the time, right, who's ultimately responsible for the loss? Is it the players or the coach? And this is in business and in sports, wherever you got a boss and a team, right? Coach, players, team boss, whatever you call each other. If there's a team that's always losing, who's ultimately responsible? Because a lot of leaders, a lot of coaches blame the players, right? But ultimately, who's responsible for who puts the players on the field? Who puts the players in the cubicles, out talking to the customers, who's doing that? The leader is. So if you are in a. In a moment where things are not working, we gotta go right to you, love. And that's not about blame. That's actually about agency. Because if you have a team of people that aren't performing, guess who's responsible to make sure you have a team of people who are performing. And y' all just want the people you have to convert into performing people. And you're losing your minds and then you're doubting yourself. But maybe the one thing you actually have to get really good at is getting new players. Maybe you don't have the right players if you have exhausted that approach to try and train them, teach them feedback, give them new ideas, hold them accountable. If all that is not working, you don't have the team that can deliver. But that's on you if you're not willing to change.

Your visionary doubt is not the truth. It's a moment in time compounded by a lot of evidence that you're using to make it true. And I know we can pull you through that. But you have to ask yourself if you're willing to change and you are willing to believe more in what you see as your potential and that vision than in being in resistant to the discomfort of either changing or you're being current situation. So what is your next best step? I'll see you next time.