When You’re Ready to Move On, But You’re Still Afraid to Let Go

Foreign. Hello, and welcome back. I'm Chris Plackey. I am your host for the Leadership is Feminine podcast. And we are going to do what I'm calling a little bit of a season series. Last week, I talked more about the work that I've been writing about and we'll be doing with my clients in the visionary, sage experience that we're doing starting. Starting this fall. I've initially been calling it beyond the CEO. Right. Just sort of in keeping with the work that I've done. I used to do a program called how to CEO. And as I've worked with more and more of my clients and they've become increasingly successful and also have built more mature businesses, we start exploring, like, what's beyond this, what's next? Right. And so the beyond the CEO has been kind of my working title. I'm not really sure it's the title. And so what I'm really landing on is, you know, next. What's next Next? Me. Who is me next? Who is the she that will be me next? All of this is really galvanized around the idea that there is a point I believe that I. It's not. I believe I have witnessed and have experienced myself personally, they. These places in our growth as women who lead where what we built is no longer where we should be. Doesn't mean we need to quit. It doesn't mean we're going to go retire and sail around the world. Although, if that's what you want to do, go do that. It's. But it's. But it's just knowing that what I have been doing is no longer what I am supposed to be doing in the way that I've been doing it. And so through this process, I have been writing about and thinking about the fact that there are really transitions that we all go through when we hit these parts of our growth. And I've been documenting what those are, and I'm going to be working with my clients personally on each of these. But what I thought I would do for this series in this podcast is record a little bit about each one of them. And I'm also going to be releasing a digital book. It might end up being a written book, print book that will also expound upon these transitions. And so I prefer to talk to you. That's my preference. But I will also document them in writing because I think that's valuable. And then I will always extend. If. If you are hearing yourself in this work that I'm sharing with you, then it probably makes sense that we meet and we talk about whether or not working with me in the Visionary Sage is the right next step for you. So last week I kind of keyed it up for you and I set it up for you this week. I really want to start with the beginning. And there are seven transitions that I have identified and I'm calling them transitions because I don't see this as a step by step process. I don't see this as a process. I see this as sort of natural transitions that people need to move through. And they might go through some of them contiguously, like not they're all at the same time or two of them are happening when one of them we're not even ready for. And. And so I'm going to walk you through all seven and in order, but I don't actually necessarily think they always happen in order. I just think that if the end game is to curate and cultivate and explore and sort of move into whatever that next version of you is, that next dream, that next place right where new dreams are born, I do think you have to kind of move through these, especially if you are a woman who was leading an enterprise, she's leading her own business, she's leading a division, she's leading a large team. You have to move through in order to create space and freedom for what's next for you. So the first one is readiness. I position this as readiness for you and readiness for them. And I think I talked a little bit about this before. We've actually created a business readiness and personal readiness assessment. And you can take it if you want and get the results. And then if you want to share the results with me, I'd love to see them. So if you want to do that, go to the visionary CEO. Business ready. Visionary CEO, business ready. It's a ChatGPT survey. So you do need to have a ChatGPT. You need to have access to that, but you don't have to pay any money to do it. Okay, so what are we talking about? Women in general? Not all, but most women think very deeply about how ready other people are and how much they might need from us before we can often think about ourselves. I know this is very true for me as a parent. Even when I. Even right now, when I start thinking about what I want to do next, like in my work or even just in sort of personal life stuff like travel, things I want to do, I'm always kind of like, yeah, but okay, if you go away for three months with your husband, like, what's going to happen to the dogs, what's going to happen to the kids. There's this checklist of other people, other entities, other beings and responsibilities that I am just programmed to think about before I can let myself go. Think about that. Does that make sense? So if we think about the fact that you've built this business, you've built this organization, you've built it around your vision, you've built it around your expectations, you've built it around your body of work. If you, maybe that's, it's your, it's you, you've built it around you. The only way you're going to be able to separate to begin this transition is if the business is ready to operate without you. And are you ready to exist and function without it? And I do believe it's a two pronged process question that you have to go through. Because I think, I think a lot of people who are going to hear me speaking about this, like fantasize about a business that could not operate without you. You would love, you love the idea of nobody asking you any questions of other people, taking initiative of other people solving the problems of things just being handled and you don't even have to think about it anymore. You, you love the idea of that. I know you do because I hear about it irregularly. But do you? Because the other part of that, the boomerang of that is what do I do when my business does operate without me? Once the decisions are made without me and they're good decisions, once the problems are solved without me and the problems are solved, who am I if I am not this person at the center of the wheel of this business? And for as freeing and like desirable as it sounds that you could have a business that doesn't need you, it's absolutely paralyzing for some women when they really consider that not being needed thing. Right? So I think you have to be really honest about what we're talking about here. Because if you know. So women come to me now who are like, okay, I gotta figure out how to get this team figured out so that I can go do this other stuff. I am, don't want to do this anymore. I am tapped out. Like, I love my business. I don't even want to sell my business. I just don't want to run my business anymore. I don't have the creativity for it anymore. I don't have the energy for it anymore. I'm bored. I'm a visionary. I want to go do something else. I don't even know what I want to do. But I can't figure out what I want to do because I'm stuck over here answering Rhonda and Accounting's questions that I shouldn't have to be answering anymore. How. How well did I cover that? Okay, so. So the business readiness survey or assessment that I wrote is, is designed to help you sort of start to think like, okay, where is my opportunity? Is, do I have opportunity with the team, Do I have opportunity with the systems in the business, or do I have opportunity with myself? Or do I need to look at all three? Because it's one thing to wish for it, it's quite another to get it. Now I know how to help you build that infrastructure in your business. If you are willing to create more freedom for yourself. That's. That actually is a very doable thing. Like, people lose their minds over this. They don't think it's possible. People are. People won't do it like I do. Absolutely right, 100% they won't, but that doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. But the level of control that you're going to have to learn how to let go of, I don't know if you're ready for that. That's what you have to ask yourself. But step one of moving beyond the CEO, moving into what's next is this process. Are you willing to release control enough that other people can become leaders in your business without you, that we drop the codependence that we come a business that can operate without you? Because if the business is solely and wholly dependent on your ability to run it, that's okay. But that doesn't really mean you have the business that you want, maybe necessarily, because then you're trapped in it. Right? I have known for a very long time that I. I had the choice several years ago. I had the choice. I had the choice. I. I was looking at the decision to either build a business that could operate without me, or using all of my body of work, all of my tools, I would teach and train people to do like the work I do with my clients and I would build that entity that was absolutely one of the very real options on the table three, four years ago. Or I could choose the model that I ultimately chose, which is that I would rather run a smaller operation that allows me to really do the work I love most, which is exactly what I'm doing while I'm talking to you, either here or in person or on Voxer. My goal is not to have a huge operation and enterprise. My goal is to work very personally with 50 plus, no more than really probably 50 women a year. That's it. And I can do that really well with a team that supports me so that I can support you. And I made that choice. So therefore, the things that I don't need to do, I no longer do. I have a team that does those. That has been a process just for me. And I'm still stumble, but for the most part, if I disappeared for a month and my clients knew I wasn't going to be around for a month, my business would operate just fine without me. I wouldn't have the delivery of the, you know, the lectures and the classes that I teach or the conversations I have with my clients. I wouldn't have that part of the business. But everything else in the business would operate without me just fine. My marketing, my podcast production, my. My emails that go out, my content design, all the other elements that are going on in my business, my event planning, all of that is happening whether I'm here or not. And I use that as an example because there are, I know a lot of you who listen to my podcast who have multimillion dollar operations, which is great with lots and lots and lots of hundred, 200, 300, 500, a thousand plus employees. This is amazing. We get to decide and the, and typically the type of product or service that you're going to be offering the world will sort of help figure that out. Right? So the question is, if you have 300 people on your team, if you have 200 people on your team, you for sure have a leadership team. And if you don't, then we really need to be talking. But even if you have 50 people, even if you have 27 people, we need to be starting to have leaders. Yeah, 15 people. I think you could get away with no other leaders on your team. With about six to eight direct employees. Six to eight direct employees. Other than that, you're starting to make yourself crazy. So can they lead your business without you, or do they need you there all the time? Are you their crutch or are you legit their brain? There's a difference. If you're their crutch, that means you've, you've delegated, you've given them authority, but they still feel like they need your approval. So there's something in there to work on. If you're their brain, that means you haven't done it, you have not delegated yet. And next week I'm going to be talking to you about how to become the advisor, the consultant for your own business, because that is absolutely the goal you have to create for yourself. Whether you want to keep the business for the rest of your life, whether you want to sell this business or whether you want to give it to the employees. Whatever it is you want, regardless of your exit strategy, we have to get you ready to be the consultant, the advisor of the business and the people that you hired to run it. We're going to do that. We're going to talk about that next week. But first step is readiness. And that is the most most important, most critical, most honest. You have to be about yourself, with yourself, to yourself. Is the business ready to operate without you? Sometimes, honestly, the answer is yes and you're just in the way. Or the answer is no, it can't operate without me. I really want it to. I have some work to do to get the business there. That's not the. The process to do that. My love is not on paper. It's not hard. I'm just rereading the Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown, which if you have, I. I'm doing a book, Deep Dive with my age clients on this. I just recorded them a podcast today about it. And I just haven't read this book for 14 years and I'm re listening to it and it's just reminding me of why I fell madly in love with Brene Brown so many years ago. There's so much that she says that just feels like the truth for me. It's like my life's work, really. But what she talks about that I just say all the time, is that you have to be willing to go through the hard part if you want the easy part, right? So if you want a business that can operate without you, then we have to, instead of asking how do I make this business operate without me? We have to ask what is in the way right now that's preventing this business from operating without me? What and who? And here's something I want to share with you that I think is really interesting. That I is very common. So if you relate to this, I, I really want you to know this is common. You're ready for this business to start to operate without you. But the people who have worked with and for you the longest, your closest team, they're not ready. I have more people tell me that, like their ops manager, their operations director, the person who's been with them for 14 years, they won't let me hire anyone else. They don't want to hire someone that works with them. They don't. They want. So they're Hoarding work and decision making and access to you, and that's preventing your ability to step out. That's not okay. Those are the kinds of things that we piece out together, we pull apart together in coaching. Because in a. In a lot of ways, women don't realize that's not okay. They think they're being collaborative. Well, I've talked to her about hiring more people to support her division or her team or whatever, but she doesn't want to. And so you feel like you're being, like, collaborative and supportive when someone doesn't want. No, no. Typically, the motivation that people have for not wanting their team to grow is they don't know how to manage and lead. Well, we can solve that. My clients put their managers into the manager formula, and they work with Michelle, who is now, as we have decided to call her, our. Our Chief of Auto Magic because she automagically makes things happen. It's my new favorite term. She's our Chief of Automagicness, Michelle A. Rand. Anyway, she does all the work with my founders, managers, directors, VPs. Right. To help them build their leadership skill, their management skill, because you need them to be able to be better than you, frankly, at managing people. Okay. Okay. So we got to get that figured out. We have to help them know that they're safe. If their team grows and they lose a little bit of time and access to you, that doesn't mean they're, like, floating in the wind. It doesn't mean that someone's going to take their job unless they suck at it. But business readiness is not just you. It's everyone on the team has to be ready to say, okay, team, here's what's going to happen. This person, this founder, this person who created this team, this division, this whole thing, she's going to slowly but surely change her role here. And we have to make sure this entire organization can operate with her in a different role. And we got to get the team on board. And I'm going to tell you what, mama. If there end up being people who can't get on board, they're not going to go with you. They will either be your anchor or your sale. And you're going to have to make that choice. Sucks. Because. Right. We build ecosystems. As women, we don't just have these unfeeling environments. We build family, we build ecosystem. And it does get you a little sticky in these relationships. And so that's another value of having some coaching, is you get some objectivity. We just had our sage gathering in Martha's Vineyard couple of weeks ago. And it's so delicious to me. First of all, they're always delicious. Martha's Vineyard can listen. I've never been. And all my clients were like, I'm so glad that you decided to do this here. I never would have come here if you hadn't done this here and now. And they were so happy to come. It was so beautiful. It was the week before 4th of July. So festive, hot. But oh, my goodness, Martha's Vineyard is a yes. I don't know the question. I just know the answer is yes. So. But one of the things I find also so delicious is we had, we had five, let's say, ongoing Sage clients, women who continue to work with me. Kamesha, who's my og, she's been. She's the first one who ever registered, and she's still active in Sage. And she's delicious. Everybody's delicious. That's insane. And then there's one new one, one new Sage client she just joined in June. And so that is my favorite because watching a newer client sort of go through, like, all of the false truth that she believes, which we will talk about in one of the future transitions, and watching my Sage clients see it in her and simultaneously validate her and also challenge her to know there's another way to think about this. Look at me, I'm over here, right? One of my clients was there, was waiting for bid day to sell her business was going to happen while we were all there. That's within a little over a year of she and I working together. She got all of her stuff together and she was able to go out to bid. Like, there's such cool news waiting for you when you get out of the way and you don't let your team be in the way of business readiness. So I have so much to talk about here. And so this is the work of a Sage, and this is the work I do within Sage. So if this is. These are the kinds of conversations that, you know you need more of, then we need to talk with each other about whether or not you should join Sage. Sage is for my clients who are at high level leadership. So you own your company, it's running at multimillions. You are the CEO of a company, you are the president of company, you are the executive director of a company, you are the cfo, the CEO of a large division. These are all the people who are in Sage. So while the majority of my clients are entrepreneurs and founders, I do have C level women in there. And I say that because I want you to understand that at a certain point when you start to hit that these parts of your growth, personal growth, the conversation is exactly the same. It really is. So if. If this is resonating and you're like, yeah, no, this is. I don't. I need to know what the next step is. I need to figure. Then we need to talk. And you're just going to book an appointment with me. Just go to the visionary CEO and there's a little link there. Schedule a consult. Super easy. I meet with everybody that I work with, and I'm going to tell you, we have simplified this business. I. A few updates. I am not on social media anymore. I have social media accounts. I am not there. I have left the building. I will not return. I. Maybe I reserve the right. I told my coach I want it out. She said, well, why don't you just make it so that you reserve the right? I'm like, okay, I'm reserving the right. But I have been off social media now for six days, almost a week, and my life has changed. I have so much more time. I have so much less angst. I am thrilled with myself. I might have spent a little more money. I gotta go somewhere for the dopamine hit. I'm trying to. Right. I'm. I'm escaping an addiction anyway, so we don't use social media. I never get clients from social media. I get clients. People find me from my podcast and from referrals, and I meet with everybody that I ultimately work with. So I know that you listen to podcasts, and I know that you're on a lot of mailing lists, and I know that it can feel like. Like maybe somehow there's thousands of people. I don't work with thousands of people. I work with up to 50 women a year, and I meet with every single person that I'm going to work with. So if you think that by now one of my sage clients, I'll shout out to you, she just registered and she's been a podcast listener for eight years. So I. That is not rare. That is not uncommon. Say it that way. It's not uncommon for that to be true. Is that you. Business readiness and personal readiness. If you know you're itchy, there's something else that wants your attention. You don't. You may not even know what it is yet. It's just not this anymore. But you're a little trapped because the company, the business, is so dependent on you, the team. We need to change that. You need to change that. So that's transition number one. Mama. How we doing? Go do the business readiness assessment. Go to the visionary CEO businessready. Take it. Then you can take a snapshot of it or copy it. Don't send me the link. The link doesn't give me the information. You've got to take a snapshot or copy it. Literally copy. Paste and send me your results. I will respond to you, Chris, @chrisplacky.com that's where you find me. All right, sunshine. I'll talk to you next week. Hey there, gorgeous. Wouldn't it be so cool if we could have a conversation together? I'd love to invite you to join me for beyond the CEO in August in Sonoma. Just go to TheVisionary CEO BeyondCEO. That's TheVisionary CEO BeyondCEO. Add your name and I will send you all the details. It's going to be so amazing. I hope you'll join us.