Why Play Belongs in Leadership

Hey, welcome to this week of Leadership is Feminine. I'm your host, Chris Blackie. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm recording this the beginning of November, and just a little under two weeks ago, I hosted a Sage event at Disneyland, and it was so magical. I want to talk to you about why before, because I hear you, right? I have people I know who are like, oh, I don't like Disneyland. I hate Disneyland. I'm not into Disneyland. Listen, I get it. I really do. I have a unique relationship with the experience there that sort of was started when I was young, and then I've continued to have experiences there that have sort of really imprinted upon me why I love it and why I choose it as a place that I spend my money and my time and my memory, my memories. But I want to talk to you about less about Disneyland and more about what I'm learning through hosting so many of the gatherings that I've now hosted with my clients, just to see what resonates for you as well. So Disneyland is a choice that I've made because I have my own. My own delight in being there. And I do think that as a facilitator and as a coach, I am better when I am enjoy, right? But I also think everybody's better when they're in joy. And one of the reasons that it's fun, I think my clients would tell you to come with me to Disneyland is because I think it's so fun. So you can't help but sort of have fun, because I'm having a great time, and I set it up, I think, pretty well for us to have a good time. I would say the average age of my client in Sage is probably about somewhere between 45 and 48 years old. There's a few of us that are in our mid-50s, and then there's a few that are sort of in there on the low end of that. And what I have found is that as mature as we are, as accomplished as we are, I mean, these women are like many of you who are listening. These are. These are amazing humans who have built beautiful lives out of their own brain, right? Beautiful homes, beautiful families, beautiful careers, beautiful businesses, relationships. Really, like, how incredible to be alive and be a woman right now, what we're able to do. And also the majority, if not all of my clients share some version of depletion, exhaustion over functioning, over deciding, over carrying, like, holding space for others. And not in a martyrdom sort of way at all. Just. There's just this Innate part of who we are. I believe as women that we are inclined to care for others deeply. And whether that's our family proper or people that we care about or our employees, we have a tendency to be big problem solvers. I watch my clients when they're together and they start trying to solve each other's problems, right? Because that's who we are. We don't want anybody to be uncomfortable. We figure it out. Listen, there's a solution here. We're going to find the solution. I'm that way. That's why I love being a coach. I love to help someone see, like, no, no, there's another side here. There's probably four other side. Let's find one, right? And move through the process of realizing it. But because that's true, there is a lack of attention to a kind of joy that I think we don't have as much of as we should. One of my clients said that one of the things that she. She wants so much that she wants more of is, you know, laugh so hard, you pee your pants kind of stuff, right? Like just having those moments where you're just so lost in the moment. It's so delicious, so fun. And I think that, that as women, we have accepted a lot of responsibility. And I, again, this is not as a martyr. This is fully knowing that we said yes. And also, it doesn't take away the fact that there's a heaviness to a very successful woman's life. And I believe we need a break from that. We need a break every now and then. The first day of the retreat or this gathering that I hosted. I hosted it at the Blue Sky Suite, which is the top floor of the Disneyland Hotel. It's an old apartment that they've repurposed to be a breakout, like, workshop space. But it has two full rooms. And then it has this veranda, patio thing open to the sky. It's absolutely. It's really fantastic. And it's done as Disney would do it. And the food was ridiculous. It was just fantastic. But one of the things that was really fun is I wanted to go with the Disney theme. And so I found out who my client's favorite characters were. And I. I got them all cross bodies, crossbody bags in their favorite character. And the deliciousness of watching women, grown women, walk into a room to find their crossbody bag with their favorite character. It was so fun. There was so much delight in that room.

And it was so lovely to offer that to women who I know think that much about what they do for other people and to be thought of for themselves, to have a space that's for them. And one of the things that, you know, I've done several trips now to Disneyland with my clients and we do it at a whole other level. It's very fun. And several of them, that's what they say, they just love to come because they don't have to drive, they don't have to be in charge. They just have somebody else that's in charge. And it's fantastic and they love that. And it's playful and it's fun. We go on a roller coaster, we go on fun rides, we eat yummy food, we laugh. And I just think what we need in the world is a lot of joy. We need a lot of joy right now. We have got to find where our joy is and we need to replicate and reproduce that as much as we can. And for women, because I am a woman and I know this experience, I know having a successful business, managing a household, having now grown children who are still very much a part of our lives, thank heavens there are a lot of competing decisions that are getting made all day long. And I believe that at least twice a year. You need to take a break, mama. You need a break. You need to sit it out. You need to turn off the phone and you need to go to Disneyland or you go. I do all sorts of different places now, which is super fun. And I'm going to continue to look at for new locations because this to me feels like such a gift to give back to you. It doesn't do you any good to have the money that you've earned if you're not investing in your joy. I know so many wealthy women who aren't happy why they're not savoring the, the entire reason they walk this journey. Right. And if you do plan a, a getaway, I'm gonna bet you a hundred dollars you planned it. If it's a girlfriend's trip, you're planning it. If it's a family trip, you're planning it. You need a break. You need to not do that. There has to be a time a few times a year where you show up in your life and, and it's handled and it's lovely and it's fancy and it's fun. We spent the second day in the park for, you know, half day, ish. And then at 5 o' clock we were picked up inside the Disney Grand Hotel in limo bus and we all dressed in what's called Disney bounding. I'd Never heard that before. I didn't want people to wear costumes, but I thought it would be fun if we dressed in the theme of a character. And people were so creative. They were so cute. I. I'm trying to figure out how to. I shared the video on my Instagram. If you. If you follow my Instagram. We took a limo bus. It took us behind the scenes of Disneyland, which was super fun. And then we, we went and had a five hour evening, six course meal with wine and cocktail pairing at a place called 21 Royal, which is a private apartment above Pirates of the Caribbean. And it was just 12 of us in this two bedroom, three bath home with a courtyard and a veranda and a gorgeous dining room, big square table, three of us on each side and the most delicious meal. Everybody agrees, like, it was the most amazing food I've ever eaten in my life. And then the wine pairings were exceptional. Our sommelier chose all of the drinks and all of the wine were female founder wineries or female winemakers for specifically for our evening. She did an incredible job and it was just magical, just the 12 of us in this bougie.

Magical space because the rooms all do different magical things. So, you know, we were all just all of us. I've never been there either. I was like, this is so ridiculous, but I have to do this again. And so that was the consensus. And I'm already looking at dates for next fall to do this again because I think it's one of the most amazing gifts you could give yourself is to do something that so few people will ever do. You're already living an exceptional life. I know that about you. I think that investing in yourself and having these kinds of experiences is. That was what so many women said that night, was, I would never have done this if you hadn't done it. And that's fantastic. Like what. What have. What is available for you to experience.

That you haven't tried? And what is. What is the permission you need to give yourself to enjoy and indulge in your life more? And what do you think when I say to you you need to take two breaks a year where you're not doing any of it? You just get to show up and be fed and be cared for and be. And laugh and maybe wear a fancy dress and put on some fun makeup, right? All the fun things, the older I get. And I've said this a lot on my podcast lately because it's true, I'm about to approach my 56th birthday. I just, it's just More cute for me. Like, there is a lot of really great stuff to see and experience in this world, and I don't want to miss it. And I also love. I'm an extrovert. I love to do these things with incredible, smart, interesting people who are equally curious, equally interested, equally experimental. Right? So visionary CEO notes and get your name on our list. But they try it. They. They laugh, they listen, they learn. It's so delicious to be in a room of people who are like that. So I'm just asking you to think about, do you need a break?

And if you haven't given yourself a break in a while, is it time? I know that the life you live is heavy. There's a lot. It's also delicious and lovely, right? It's all of it. But you also serve and help so many people. I think giving it to yourself is equally important. You are the asset. Without you, none of it goes. And you need to pour into you. It's the kind of thing you have to raise your hand for.

Because otherwise it's just another day and then another day and then another day and then another day. And before you know it, a year's gone by. And that thing that you wanted, that weekend away you were hoping for that time where you could just sit and think and journal that meeting some new women that you haven't ever met before and having conversations that you've never had before that time went away. You matter. Your joy matters. Your joy is your currency to success. Your joy is your currency to wealth. Allow more time for joy. Whatever that looks like. I really want to invite you to do that, so go check out my video on Instagram. It was so much fun. You guys seriously had the best time. I'll talk to you next time. We have so many great things coming up. Are you on the list? Go to thevisionary CEO notes and add your name. I will send you some fun things, and you'll be first to know about some really fun and interesting things that are coming up, like, say, the Hawaii retreat. So visionary CEO notes and get your name on our list.